10 Uneasy

Why did Yoongi sunbae ask to drive me to the dorm? It's not like I'm an important person. It seemed like he was in trouble when he was on his call. Where as, I was just asked what I wanted for dinner.

I don't know why it didn't even occur to me at the time to tell Sooyoung eonnie that I finally found my soulmate and it is indeed Yoongi sunbae. Am I still scared? If yes, then why? I know that I need him to live. We both need each other but why didn't I jump at the chance of finally having that First Touch.

I got a taste of what they called life sharing while he was guiding me into the cafe. It felt warm and safe and I was so tempted to hold, no, hug him. I have never imagined him to be this warm but most likely it's just the soulmate thing kicking in.

He was driving quietly. He didn't even try to start a conversation like he did earlier. But the way his hands almost crush the steering wheel makes me think that he's deep in his thoughts. Is he also hesitating like me? Or is he disappointed that his soulmate is just a mere trainee?

Memories of my room flooded my thoughts. Those years that I played alone with no warmth from my parents. Only dolls with life less eyes to keep me company. Those times when I was teased as an orphan at school because my parents never bothered to go to family days and I was always left to be with my nanny. The moments when I had a hard time dealing with my own feelings but I had no one to go to for comfort because my parents would rather be all over each other the whole day than care for their daughter.

My face must've started becoming a mess as I felt the car slowly halt.

"Hey, are you okay?" His voice was soft and gentle. Apparent worry in his tone.

"I,.. yes sunbae." I had to bite my tongue before I spew nonsense. He must be thinking that I'm weird or worse that I'm a drama queen.

"But, why are you crying? Did I do something wrong? Am I scaring you?" Him? Scare me? Why would he think that? If there was someone who's scary at this moment, it would be me. Suddenly crying in his car.

"This is nothing, sunbae.. I'll be okay." I know I couldn't convince him with that since tears are still falling on my cheeks.

"Is there something I can do to help?" I want to think that's he's being genuine but I can't help but think that he must be doing this so as not to lose me, his life line.

"I... I just wanna get home, please." His lips twitched a little before he looked straight ahead and started driving. Is that frustration?

Who would want to be with someone like me? A reject since birth. Unwanted. I'm sure if my parents can turn back time, they would rather not have me. A mistake even from the beginning.

The GPS indicated that we have arrived.

"Is this where all you guys stay?" He simply asked.

"Yes sunbae." I saw the little smile on his lips turn into that gummy smile I always wanted to see in person. "Wh-why?"

"I just remembered how we were during trainee days. We lived in a dorm smaller than this. Only one room, all seven boys." Ofcourse, I knew all of that. How cramped their space was, sharing just one room even sharing underwear! But that was long ago, they have come so far. Now, they live in Hangnam hill. One of the most prestigious neighbourhoods in Seoul. "Will you let me walk you to your door?"

"What?!" I wasn't fast enough for my mouth this time.

I was really caught off guard. Min Yoongi is offering to walk me to my door, make sure I'm safe. Is this genuine care or he's assuring my safety so he can assure his?

"Sorry. I, I think I was too forward. It's okay if you're not comfortable." His ears turned red. He really got embarrassed? And I don't know how to respond to all of this. "I'll just stay here and watch until you get inside then."

"Oh, okay. Thank you for the ride sunbae." He opened his mouth but then stopped so I moved to get out of the car. Before I got to step outside I felt a familiar warmth coming from my wrist but it was too quick.

"I'm sorry." His eyes were intense but not with anger. His brows were scrunched but not with confusion.

"It's okay." Was all I could muster.

"Uhm, I'm sure we'll meet again soon. BigHit will get in contact with your company." He suddenly switched to his professional tone.

"Oh... ofcourse. I'll see you then. Thanks again, sunbae." He allowed me to alight this time and just as he said, he waited until I opened the door before driving off.

I felt the same tug I did when I started following him through the alleys at Apgujeong. Is this how it's going to be from now on? Me, longing for a person I barely know. My heart wanting someone I can't have, shouldn't have. The life of being dependent on another person so I could live. Ha! Pathetic!

******

"Hyung, you're back." Joon was the first to greet me.

"Finally." It was Sejin hyung. Ofcourse, he'd be here too. Hobeom hyung was at the back just patiently waiting for news.

"Where is she?" Came Jimin's curious voice as he tried to check if I was actually with someone. "Joonie hyung told us you found her."

"Yeah, I did. But I can't really just drag her here, can I?" And to think I almost agreed to the idea of bringing her to the dorm.

What girl in their right mind would want to come to a stranger's home? Even when I'm her soulmate, I doubt she would've agreed to the idea. We're both idols. Well, I'm an idol and she's a trainee. So we both need to inform our companies first before we do anything. Specially, this something will actually change how we live our lives moving forward.

"Atleast we know who she is, right. Which brings me to our next topic. Who is it?" Was Sejin hyung's next question and damn, why did I only realize it now?! I didn't even get to ask her name! Fuck! Stupid Min Yoongi!

"I... uhm..." I ran my hand on my nape.

"Hyung don't tell me..." Namjoon was already about to lose it. His eyes blew out as it dawned on him and he started pinching his nose bridge. "Oh no, yeah, just don't tell me." He continued as he shook his head and waved his hand towards me.

Jungkook, that evil maknae laughed out loud at my expense. "So hyung, you didn't ask for her name? Who would've known you're this slow with girls?!"

"Stop it Kook. You're cutting it too close." I'm having a hard time stopping my hand from smacking him right on the face. Evil kid! He just raised his hands and shoulders but that impish grin was still on his face. The next thing I know all of them were already laughing their asses off.

"Whatever. We'll get to know who she is soon enough. At least now we know I won't die anytime soon. If you lot are happy now, I'll be in my studio." I started walking off when I felt a large hand on my shoulder.

"I'm happy you found her Yoon. And I'm sure everyone's just excited to meet her." Jin hyung tried his best to paint a positive picture out of the cackling monkeys around us. All this noise and I can't brush off those scared and guilty eyes off my head.

"I just hope she feels the same hyung."