7 1:33 AM

How ironic it is that I sometimes feel lonely... when I am the one constantly pushing people away. Hahahaha!

If people were to ask how many friends I have—close friends at that, they wouldn't even go beyond my 10 fingers. Why? I only have a few of them. 2-3 perhaps?

We don't talk often, too. But that is okay as we indeed have our own lives to live. But I do miss them, though... as they are the only ones I can comfortably talk to about random personal stuff. Even with things I go through that I am not comfortable of sharing other people.

I couldn't sleep... and it's weird of me to be making an entry here like it's my diary. HAHAHA! Well... it is like my diary... for now, maybe.

I feel somewhat melancholic but maybe it is because of the time as the title says... or maybe it is also because of the hormonal imbalance I got—having PCOS and all and my moodiness, one of its symptoms, is getting the best of me.

Now I think of my friends... what they're up to, how they are doing. The only way we could communicate is through social media. The other one is working in the hospital in a far away province... the other is having his classes or might be playing with his games... So sometimes, we don't even talk but that's okay.

However, maybe it's just me that feels sorta uneasy. They're the only persons I tell random stuff I wanna share and now that the pandemic has making everyone feel extra busy, I don't even have time to share but to be honest, it's kinda making me feel lonely.

I get excited and want to share some things—for example, a funny thing that transpired in a daily basis. A good plot that crossed in my mind. Or maybe even a memory that I suddenly remembered. But the excitement dims sooner or later because I know it would take a while for one to reply.

Then it made me realize, I do have a few friends... and I don't have anyone else to share things to. Hahaha! But I wouldn't want to make a lot of friends, either.

Am I making sense? I don't know... I think I'm not making sense, either. I'm confused as well—I don't know if I'm expressing myself, ya know? I just try.

Haha! Maybe I'll just leave my entry here... and if I have the urge to delete it, I'll do so. Or maybe I'll just leave it hanging. And when I read it again in the near future, I have something to ponder on or laugh about.

Hmm... maybe. Maybe... maybe? LMAO!

For now I just wanna write this way... and drown myself in my imagination for a while until I drift to sleep.

Anyway... I hope everyone's doing great this quarantine, though! It is difficult during these hard times... but I pray that we all make it! We all can do it! ^^

G'night, world.

~END 1:51 AM~