Chapter 1: Her smile

I spent the entire day doing nothing but lying in my bed. During that day, time seemed to pass slowly. This weekend was nothing more than a wormhole in spacetime. I don't have anything to do, not even homework because I already completed it. I don't have anything to play. I don't have anyone to spend time with. When I looked out the window, I saw a group of children playing together in the park. I guessed I just needed to sleep all day long like I used to.

*knock, knock.*

I was just about to sleep and suddenly someone knocked on my door.

The door was opened and it was my mom.

"Futaro, are you about to sleep?" Mom said.

"Not really, I'm just lazing on my bed," I said while undoing my blanket.

"Good. I was to ask you something." Mom said.

"What is it, Mom?" I ask her.

I got out of bed and walked towards the door.

As I was standing at the door, I saw my sister standing behind my mom. She was dressed in her favorite shirt, an oversized white shirt. She never bought that shirt. That shirt belonged to my older brother. She has to like the shirt. When she's at home, she always wears the same dress all day long.

"Do you still have that drawing board you used a long time ago?" Mom asked.

She wanted to borrow the drawing board that I hadn't used in a while.

"I don't know if I still have it or not? Give me a minute." I said.

So I started looking for that thing. When I opened my folder, it was empty.

Then I looked under my desk and saw that it was empty.

I kept looking until I found it. I looked at my bookshelf, it's not there.

I unloaded my bag and it's not there.

Half an hour had passed and found nothing.

I was tired. I sat a while on my bed.

"Have you not found it yet?" Mom asked.

"Just wait one more minute," I said.

I got up from my bed and accidentally my feet stumbled on a drawer that was closed to my bed.

I heard something was behind the drawer.

I took a look at what was on the other side of the drawer.

Surprisingly, it was my old drawing board that I was looking for.

I grabbed that drawing board.

It was a bit dusty. I used my cloth to wipe the dust out.

Mom jumped and said, "Stop, don't use your cloth. I can do it myself."

I handed that thing to my mom.

She seemed relieved after I found it.

"Thank goodness, you found it. Your sister needed this. Her teacher asked her to bring this drawing board tomorrow because she's gonna use it for her class." Mom said.

" Oh, just take it. I am not gonna use it ever again." I said.

"No, no. Just for a day." Mom said.

"Mom, just take it. I have not used that thing for so long because I only use my computer for drawing. So, I don't need it." I said.

" Thank you, Fatoru. I will make your favorite meal for dinner." Mom said.

"Yeah, thanks, mom," I said.

My family was dead poor. We only live in a small apartment with only two rooms and one bathroom and that's why she is so glad that I could help her.

My mom smiled and left my room.

My mom forgot to close the door back.

I got up and walked toward the door.

On my way, I noticed my mom and sister chatting in front of the door, and at that moment I saw it. I saw her smile. The smile of my sister.

I knew she was not smiling at me but my little help just now made her smile that bright. I don't know when it's time for me to get it from her.

I've not seen it for a long time.

That smile was so beautiful.

I didn't realize that a smile was crafted on my face too when I looked at hers.

I stood on the edge of the door for a while stalking them.

What are they chatting on? I can't hear the time.

For no reason, I lost my balance and fell on the floor.

Mom noticed me.

"Futaro, are all right?" Mom said.

"She gazed at me too. She seems a little bit scared that she hid behind my mom after saw me.

I got up quickly and closed the door.

I jumped to my bed.

That was so embarrassing. I got caught stalking on my sister's smile.

I can't believe that I can see that kind of smile.

My face cannot stop smiling because of her affection.

"Why did it feel so good?"

I can't believe the sensation I felt right now.

"I want to see that smile again."

I keep smiling, smiling, and smiling.

Suddenly, it started raining.

My face felt so warm.

I touched my face and I realized my face was soaked with tears.

"What? Why? Tears why you came out to shower me? I was just happy right now."

I wiped my tears and got up.

My addiction kept worsening.

I want to see her. I want her to smile again really badly.

I can't take it anymore.

I ran towards my door where both mom and my sister were chatting.

I saw my mother was alone reading her novel on the sofa in the living room.

Damn it. I lose my opportunity to see her. My sister was not with her.

What I'm gonna do now?

It felt so awkward, so I stayed there for a while.

I sat on the sofa close to my mom.

"Mom, what are you reading?"

…

She didn't answer my question.

"Where are Uraha-chan, mom? Did you just chat with her just minutes ago?

…

Silent again. Is there something wrong with my mom or something with me?

She raised the novel she read until cover her eyes. She didn't want to let sight fall on me.

I sat there for minutes for her response and I got nothing.

I can't stand it anymore from this silence. I got up and walked to my room.

"Ah, I thought I could see her smile once again," Those words slipped from my mouth.

"Huh, you want to see her smile?" Mom said.

I turned back to look at my mom and then a book flew to my face

"Are kidding me?" Mom asked.

"Sorry, but was that fo… " I can't finish my words.

"Shut up! " Mom shouted

"You don't deserve anything. You should just die. You asked me, "where's she?". Don't you remember, that you're the only reason why she needs to suffer, the reason why I can't see her again. " Mom said with tears on her face.

Mom who was standing now she felt on her knees.

"Why? Why? Why?" She cried.

I saw her mentally broken.

Why did she suddenly cry?

I saw my sister come from mom's back. There was no smile on her face and she didn't even notice me. She hugged mom to calm her up.

But, mom kept crying like no one tried to comfort her.

At that time, my mind went blank. I don't know what to do, how to react.

I turned back and ran to my room.

I spent all my time in my room but I was not alone.

I don't get my food. I was hungry.

Anxious was with me and kept hugging tightly during the night.

I kept thinking about what just happened to me.

"What just happened? Just now I saw my mom laughing with Uraha-chan. Why is she so mad at me?"

"Why didn't she not notice my presence?"

"Is she disappointed to have me as her brother?"

I lay down on my bed in a dark room with confusion in my head. This thought kept bugging my mind until I fell asleep.