1 The Frustrated Virgin God

The Ninth Heaven.

It was the realm of where the strongest gods dwelled. The progenitors of the world, and the supreme beings that reigned in myths and legends, all resided in this holy area that is considered the highest of the high.

Seas of stars and planets revolved around a dark void above. Below the vast emptiness and unknown were buildings designed in the majestic and intricate style of ancient china. Celestial jade glowed off the structures with soft moonlight, providing illumination within the realm.

The ground itself was also not made from any worldly materials, but rather of solid cloud that gave off a faint height of transparent mist. This entire realm was also known as the highest level in all of the divine realms.

It is here that a young man is seen staring up in despair. On his head of long, snow-white hair was a pair of flattened-down cat ears in the same colour.

A bushy tail poked out and wagged from behind his traditional hanfu clothing, all in an identical white. Aside from these feline features, everything else about him appeared human-like.

Unlike the rest of the gods in the Ninth Heaven, the young man seemed depressed and bored to the breaking point. His dark eyes were strangely bloodshot and his entire being seemed to be weighed down with depression.

"Fuck." Yu Tian swore as he looked up into the endless void.

He lost track of time since his achievement of godhood here. He was just a dedicated cultivator when he was still mortal, and much of his human life he could no longer remember from the mortal world.

The only thing he could remember were his techniques and skills, ingrained permanently into his body with muscle memory. Yu Tian stood at the martial peak, studying and mastering every single weapon, style, and stratagem that were associated with the art of combat.

Eventually, Yu Tian's cultivation had allowed him to completely ascend from his humanity, and now he is known as the God of War.

What is cultivation? Qi is the energy of everything in existence, and refining this energy allows oneself to become stronger and gain benefits. The individuals who harness this energy are known as cultivators.

Cultivators have their lifespan extended every time they achieve a breakthrough, and during that time, Yu Tian had travelled far and wide to learn and experience everything there was in the world of martial arts.

But now ever since achieving godhood, what was the point of being a God of War where there were no wars to be fought?

"I shouldn't have come here. I wish I just lived and died like a normal person." Yu Tian continued to grumble depressingly. "I dedicated my life to the martial path, and in the end, I get this."

Sighing, the God of War laid onto his back from his sitting position. Yu Tian's dark eyes were filled with an unfathomable blankness as he glared into the void above him.

This was the Ninth Heaven, the highest of the high. The realm was only occupied by the very top of the divine hierarchy. When he first arrived here, he became acquainted with the leader, creation god Pan Gu, and received enlightenment on how the world was created.

After learning that the bearded giant god had split the sky and the earth with a swing of his axe, he wanted to challenge the other gods to a fight. However, Yu Tian was devastated to learn that combat was prohibited in the Ninth Heaven as it would cause disasters in the lower planes.

Now his only sources of entertainment were to play some boarded chess, or to make sculptures with his ice Qi in his domain. Soon, even the chess moves became finite as the game became solved from how long he played it, becoming stale.

Eventually, even his ice sculptures became deformed as Yu Tian lost all motivation to put effort in them.

He couldn't even cultivate anymore, as reaching godhood means your body can no longer intake Qi. Being a god was the final stage of cultivation.

Yu Tian also learned that the purpose of being deities like them was to protect the balance of heaven and earth, and become uninvolved with the affairs in the mortal world.

But... To protect the balance from what? Yu Tian had stayed with them here for countless millennia, and yet nothing had ever happened.

Even worse, all the goddesses in the Ninth Heaven were either married, or were chaste to the point of being man-haters.

Last time he tried to hit on one, his little brother was nearly removed from her rage. Crazy women.

Sighing, Yu Tian was certainly a frustrated virgin.

...

"This marks our fifth meeting this millennium..." Pan Gu began to drone on about their responsibilities as gods residing in the Ninth Heaven.

Time passed again, and the next meeting of every 200 years finally rolled around, which was mandatory that all gods must attend. They were sitting in a large coliseum with Pan Gu in the center giving his speech.

Yawning, Yu Tian has heard the same material uncountable times already. The first couple of times were enlightening and inspiring, but after hearing the creation god repeat it over and over like a mantra, he just wished it to be over as soon as possible.

Suddenly, he felt a warm hand on top of his head that stroked his ears. Yu Tian scowled with small fangs as he ducked away. "Nuwa! Stop that."

An unworldly beautiful face came in view as she chuckled from his reaction. Her lush black hair trailed below her waist of her long red dress, tied neatly into a huge braid.

Nuwa, the mother goddess, continued to forcefully touch Yu Tian's head, much to his displeasure. "It's not my fault your godly form is this. It's too cute."

Aside from Pan Gu, Nuwa was another major god in the Ninth Heaven. In the Ninth Heaven, Gods were seperated into major and minor categories. Ascension into godhood makes one a minor god, while gods that have been present since or near the creation of the world were ranked as major gods.

Nuwa's upper half was completely human, but her lower was that of a snake's tail. However, Yu Tian knew she could easily transform her lower half into shapely, sexy legs, usually just to tease him.

Yu Tian was a minor god, like many others in the Ninth Heaven who ascended from a lower plane. However, in Nuwa's eyes, what made him truly special out of her creations was the fact that he was born completely as a human.

Talent, luck, and effort; the combination of the three had allowed him to ascend from one of the lowest lifeforms to a god.

"Stop bothering me already." Yu Tian grimaced unhappily but didn't forcefully push her away. Nuwa was like a big sister to him through the countless passings of time, and although she loved to tease him, it was never anything to the point of being too much. "Otherwise, I'll tell brother Fuxi to spank you."

Fuxi, another major god involved in creation with Pan Gu and Nuwa, was Nuwa's husband. Like Nuwa, his lower half was that of a snake, but his personality was a stark contrast to his wife. Usually stoic and unexpressive, Fuxi kept his emotions rather reserved, while Nuwa liked to be more open.

"Oh? You've gotten quite brave to tease your big sister have you?" Nuwa smiled mischievously before a faint expression of sadness overshadowed her beautiful features.

Yu Tian was quite pitiful, in his human life and even now in his life as a god. She was the only audience on his journey of ascension.

Devoting his life to the martial way, Yu Tian never accepted any form of companionship. Orphaned at birth, he faced hardship and loneliness throughout his entire cultivation journey. Even when he ascended to the peak, he was alone.

No family, no friends, and no attachments to the mortal world. He caught Nuwa's attention when he became the most wanted cultivator in all of the Jianghu. Gods in the Ninth Heaven were not allowed to have any interactions or interfere with the affairs of the lower planes, but they could observe.

From condensing the mortal Qi, or the energy of the world, into the divine Qi, Yu Tian persevered and struggled all on his own to achieve godhood.

Yu Tian relied on no one because he had no one, and could only depend on himself. Thankfully, through interactions with her once he came to the Ninth Heaven, Nuwa had managed to get him to open up a bit through the long passing of time.

Compared to his time as a god here, his life as a mortal could be considered to be as quick as the blink of an eye.

"Say, big sister Nuwa." Yu Tian finally escaped her grasp and shifted a small distance away, causing a nearby minor God of Fortune to glance at him coldly with his disturbance.

He lowered his voice to whisper. "Is there any way for us gods to get out of here?"

Yu Tian had tried multiple times to break through the barrier, but to no avail. The gate that he arrived in Ninth Heaven with was a treasure kept and guarded by Pan Gu himself, and there was no way he could try to beat him before alarming the other gods.

Nuwa frowned. She knew that Yu Tian had constantly been bored ever since his ascension. However, escaping as a God from the Ninth Heaven was considered taboo, and Pan Gu had made sure to create an impenetrable barrier around the realm to prevent anyone having any ideas.

"Forget about it. Pan Gu made the barrier himself. No Gods that reside in the Ninth Heaven can exit, unless there was a world-level calamity that requires us to step in." The creation goddess shook her head.

Sighing, Yu Tian placed his head in his hands in defeat. "Pan Gu...Pan Gu. Wait. Pan Gu." He trailed off as he thought about the story of the creation god again.

"Don't try anything stupid, okay?" Nuwa chastised Yu Tian as she turned her attention back to the meeting. However, a flicker of inspiration flashed in his eyes, unbeknownst to her.

...

The meeting was eventually finished, and the gods scattered into their own personal domains. Waiting for them to leave, Yu Tian secretly flew to the outer boundaries to observe Pan Gu's barrier that surrounded the Ninth Heaven.

A myriad of colours flashed across its surface, with runic symbols etched into neat rows that continued to converge and move around the wall. Seeing it personally made Yu Tian certain that he couldn't break it with his strength alone.

"I wonder why I didn't think of this ages ago?" Yu Tian muttered. When Pan Gu had split the sky and earth, he died when doing so as the world was created. If he truly "died", then how could he still exist in his divine form currently?

The answer was simple. Reincarnation. Being immortal, there was no simple way a god could simply die if only his physical body was destroyed.

If this was the case...

Yu Tian grinned. Now he had an idea of what he could try to do. Problem is, his divine power was no match in terms of quality or quantity compared to a creation god like Pan Gu.

But what if he used something that belonged to Pan Gu?

The God of War grinned evilly. He finally had a plan to get out of this hell of a heaven.

...

"Dong! Dong!" The hammering of the bells caused quite a commotion in all of Ninth Heaven. Appearing in multiples, the gods began whispering and conversing among themselves as to what has happened.

These bells signalled a major crisis. Seeing that they weren't being attacked, many of the gods were wondering if it was a false alarm until Pan Gu himself appeared in a flash of divine golden light.

"My axe is missing. Who stole my axe?" Pan Gu thundered angrily but was also worried.

Sneaking into another god's domain, essentially their own house on the Ninth Heaven, was also a taboo. Someone had snuck into his and stole his axe while Pan Gu was having idle chatter with another god, and somehow prevented him from sensing its location.

His axe, the very axe that split the sky and the earth, had properties that could cause massive damage to the world when mishandled. Pan Gu worried for all of the lower planes if the culprit escaped and the axe falls into the wrong hands.

Nuwa was one of the first to appear and observe the situation before she noticed Yu Tian was missing. Soon, she put the two and two together and realized what Yu Tian was attempting to do.

"Find Yu Tian, quickly!" She commanded the minor gods to quickly search for him. "Check in the outer borders near the barrier!"

...

Whistling a happy tune, Yu Tian happily tossed around a fairly small axe with double edges in his hands. It looked super ordinary on an initial glance, but upon looking closer, the whole axe was in the colour of gold and radiated with Pan Gu's energy.

To prevent Pan Gu from tracking the weapon down, Yu Tian used true ice Qi to coat the axe so that no traces could be leaked out and be locked down by divine sense. "Sorry, but not sorry. I'm getting out of here."

Arriving on the edge of the barrier, Yu Tian allowed the true ice to dissipate as he channelled his divine Qi into the axe. He swung down with all his might, causing the axe to lodge deeply in the barrier and all of Ninth Heaven to shake.

"Yu Tian, stop! What you're doing right now is extremely dangerous!" Turning around, he saw Nuwa appear out of a void with the other gods. However, he had already made his decision and no longer wanted to stay.

If this was how gods live, then he'd rather not be a god.

"Sorry big sister Nuwa." Yu Tian grinned while feeling drained of energy. He roared triumphantly. "I don't want to be a virgin anymore! I quit!"

"Time to get out of here..." He suddenly trailed off when he realized the axe was completely stuck, with no way for him to make the hole in the barrier bigger.

"Uh." Yu Tian stared awkwardly at the rest of the gods who were giving him death stares. His fluffy tail began to wag nervously.

Pan Gu growled as two extra arms sprouted out of his back, glowing with ethereal power. The god of creation went into his battle form and was determined to get his axe back.

"God of War Yu Tian. Prepare to accept punishment for your misconduct." Pan Gu cracked his knuckles menacingly.

Yu Tian grimaced. There was no chance he could fight them all and win, but there was still a hole in the barrier thanks to the axe.

However, if he was to do THAT thing, it might kill him outright just because he was only a minor god. Compared to the divine physiques of the major gods, it was still a night and day difference.

"Charge!" Rushing forward, Pan Gu and several other gods rushed towards him, intending to imprison him for who knows how long. Thinking of how he would have to waste away from being locked up, the God of War finally made his choice.

"Fuck it, I'm out of this shithole." Yu Tian finally had enough and used his Qi to blow himself out of the Nine Heavens.