5 This time would be different

2 weeks have passed in a blink of an eye since school started, right now I'm in the cafeteria. After I got my tray of food I walked to find a seat for me, the meal in the cafeteria aren't bad in fact they're better than the fast foods I know outside the campus. ' Hmmm. Maybe I should ask who the chef is? '

As I blank out, I found myself tripping and when I realized it, I was already on the ground and also my spilled food. I looked around when I heard a snicker and a whisper.. "deserves you right."

'oh, isn't this the girl from last sem? what? getting back at me?'

I looked around to see people occasionally looking at me and my eyes stopped at one table, Tristan's and his friends. His friends looked at me while he just continued to eat not even taking a glance at me.

I wanted to mock myself. I want to avoid him, to escape but here I am still wanting to have atleast his little bit of affection.

I slowly got up from the ground and looked at my uniform that's slightly tainted by Mechado*. I gritted my teeth.. 'To waste food!' and picked up the tray and some of the foods that's on the floor using the tissues.

I walked with poise after that and feign a trip.

"AHHHH! YOU! OH MY GOSH!" A frantic shout can be heard after that. A girls' uniform got stained by the remaining food that I picked up earlier.

"ahh. sorry, I guess my knee still felt weak from tripping."

"you! you're doing it on purpose!"

"Eh?~ no way, why would I?"

"wouldn't it be because I--!" I raised a brow when she stopped from shouting and smirked.

'hmph, scheming at me. See if I don't throw dirt on your face if you do this again. Heck, I won't be Devina if I don't get back at you.' Giving up on Tristan doesn't mean I would entertain people making a move against me, I'm not a pushover.

I walked away when I saw her seething in anger and went to the counter to return my tray.

"I'm sorry for wasting the food. I'd like to buy the last ham and cheese sandwich." after paying for my purchase, I went to the girls toilet room to wash the stains on my clothes. The girls coming out of the toilet room glanced at me and I know they're stopping their selves from laughing.

I walked into the counter and washed myself, after I knew that it wouldn't leave a stain on my clothes, I just stood there looking at myself on the mirror and faintly smiled.

'not deserving. not worthy. haaa. I don't need people reminding me of this.'

I'm aware of it myself, that I am not deserving to be his fiance, he's the dream guy everyone wants. Handsome with good physique, smart, and rich. The 3 fundamentals of an Ideal man.

I'm not as beautiful as the girls around him. I'm not that smart but I'm not dumb. I am rich but not a spoiled one. And I definitely do not have a good character.

But didn't I try my best too? To be worthy to stand beside him?

They would always bring me down when I'm trying my best to prove myself.

I touched my reflection. " It's alright Devi. At least you tried." And became tired, so rest. Live your life for yourself this time. Neither for your family nor for the man you love.

This time would be different from the lasts.

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* Mechado = It can be pork or beef Filipino stew. This particular recipe is composed of beef/pork slices, potato, frozen green peas, and bell peppers.