1 Prologue

June 7, 2017. 12:12 PM. That is the date and time now.

I am sitting on a 4-seater round table in our veranda overlooking an infinity pool and a garden of roses, stirring my earl grey tea that have gone cold as I looked at the bright sky then to the lunch meal on the table until it stopped at the man sitting in front of me. The man who I love, and the man who I'm engaged with, my fiancé - Tristan Sy.

The right corner of my lips twitched upward as I sported an exasperated faint smile. 'Aah. It's here again.'

He was sitting on the chair with his frozen cold handsome face and kingly aura as he gazed at the garden. Not once has he looked my way even though it was just the two of us and a maid that was standing in a far corner. There was an awkward silence between us and only the sound of the tea spoon that I'm stirring on the porcelain tea cup can be heard, but he didn't mind it and so I don't.

I glanced at my right side where there's a sliding door leading to our dining room from the veranda, recalling what would happen next for the nth time.

'The turning point is coming.'

Minutes passed, and I've finished the last drop of my tea but the man is still staring at the garden.

'I wonder what's so interesting about the garden that makes him gaze at it for almost half an hour? Or is it because he just didn't want to look at me? Ahh. That must be it.'

Faint footsteps can be heard approaching until it grew louder as they neared. The man turned his head to look where the sound came from and I can't help but ball my fists to stop it from trembling.

'I can't get used to this.'

A petite girl and a maid supporting her emerged from the sliding door. The girl was mesmerizing; beautifully arched thick eyebrows, deep brown round eyes, plump thin lips, slender and snow white body, and a long silky dark hair. My little sister, Angelica Martirez, is definitely a lotus flower.

I observed the man in front, something I've been doing for to torture myself more.

As someone who has been with him for a long time, I understood and knew what was on his cold expressionless face. Even though you can't see it, it is there, that admiration and faint feelings he felt for the first time for my little sister. There was a slight flicker in his eyes that a person wouldn't notice unless observed seriously. And that was what I'm doing, he doesn't even noticed me staring at him when he's so occupied at appreciating her whole being.

I smiled bitterly inside my mind as I remembered the way he looked at me the first time we met. The difference can't even compare, and this is the bitter truth.

This lunch party was to formally introduce my little sister to my fiancé as she hasn't met him in the past due to her sick body.

"A pleasure to meet you, big brother in law." Came the sound of a lovely voice, as my sister smiled sweetly and offered her right hand towards my fiancé. He stood from his seat and shook hands with her.

With a pleasant voice, my fiancé responded. "A pleasure to meet you too. Angelica, right? Isn't it a bit too soon to call me 'big brother in law' though?" Even though it was the same voice as usual, but there's something different.

I stood at the side watching them staring intently at each other. My sister's cheeks dyed in red. If it was the me in the past I would have ranted due to jealousy and surely ruined this lunch party. But that was the me back then, not the me now. Although I still felt a slight squeeze of my heart and a little suffocated at the atmosphere, I can still keep my composure. Love, after all, can't be simply forgotten that fast.

I stood from my seat, took a glance at their still holding hands. 'Seems like they won't be parting anytime soon.' And turned to walk towards the dining area.

"Devina, where are you going?" my fiancés voice resounded from behind, I turned and focused my gaze downward.

"I am retreating back to my bedroom." I said with a faint smile.

"But why sister? The lunch…." My sister's voice trailed with sadness and I can feel my fiancé look at me with disapproval.

"I'm sorry, Ica. But I'm feeling a bit unwell, so take care of Tristan for me." I remained looking downward. I'm sure if I looked at him right now I would be met with a questioning look, as I looked fine just a moment ago.

"oh. Okay." There was a trace of joy in her voice that I caught from listening.

'Aye. So, she too.' I laughed inwardly to myself thinking how I've been stupid not to have noticed it back then.

"Then I'll escort you back to you---" I cut his sentence with my own..

"No need." 'Ha! I know what you are trying to do. Acting like a fiancé but I won't let you.'

"It's just upstairs and my maid can accompany me. Please just take your time, enjoy yourselves and do not worry about me." I said in a gentle voice and lifted my line of sight to take a final look at them.

'Hmmm. Really a match made in heaven, a pretty girl beside a handsome man.' Again, I laughed inwardly as I mock myself.

Before starting to walk away I left a parting sentence. "Then, I'll retire now."

'Yes, I'll retire, this is for the best. The best solution for me.' If one didn't pay attention they wouldn't notice the slight heartache in that voice, but no one was really paying attention, so who would notice?

As we reached the outside of my bedroom, I faced my maid. "No need to follow me inside, you can return to your quarters." The maid nodded and goes away.

I opened the door of my room, and entered. After closing the door, I leaned my back on it as I try to relax my tensed body. I covered my mouth using my trembling right hand as I let out gasping sounds, one by one tears started to flow from my eyes clouding my vision as I looked at the ring on my left ring finger. My engagement ring. My heart clenched at the sight, and I swiftly took it off from my finger and closed my eyes as I try to calm myself.

'Devi, it's alright. You'll do it right this time, and you'll also live differently this time. Yes, it will be different from your 1st, 2nd and 3rd life. It's okay.' I repeated this sentences as if a mantra trying to build some courage to live this 4th life of mine.

By some fate, I'm a person who keeps going back in time, I realized this now. People might call it reincarnation but I don't really know what this means. Why? Why go back? What's the purpose? This would be the 3rd time I reincarnated and returned to the exact same date and time, June 7, 2017 at 12:12 PM, and the third time I live my life.

I would have been grateful to be reincarnated if it was during the time I hadn't met Tristan yet or when I'm starting to fall in love with him, so that I can excuse myself of this pain or trying to stop myself from falling deeper in love with him. But no, it is always at this time, the lunch party where realization hit me like a freight train.

No matter how much you put your love into one person, you can't be guaranteed that person would do the same.

My heart crashed in my first lifetime as I watched him fall inevitably in love with my little sister. From the very beginning, I knew his heart wasn't on me. I did my best, worked hard to gain even a tiny bit affection from him to no avail. But it only took one look, ONE LOOK, for him to instantly fall for my sister while I watched it happening.

"I am so stupid to spend those years loving him, when my love would only be thrown into waste. Hahaha"

I took unsteady steps toward my bed and plopped down, closing my eyes as I remember how my life has been in my first, second and third lifetime.

I am Devina Martirez, and this is the story of my countless lifetimes…