4 Going to University

*Present*

It's has been a month since Tristan and my sister met, and in that month Tristan visited us thrice.

What's wrong with it when he is my fiancé? It's rare because it's unbelievable. He only visits our house twice… in a year. For 3 years of being engaged, his visit to our house could be counted with 1 hand not including the last 3 visits he made a month ago.

To other people his visit to our house was to see me, his fiancé. But I knew and I'm not blind to see that he just wanted to get a glimpse of my sister.

And it hurts, it hurts so much to figure it out now…when in the past I was blinded. Blinded by the thought that he's finally having an initiative and that I'm really the reason he visited. But I wasn't. I was happy at that time like an idiot. Maybe he really did think I'm an idiot.

In the last 3 lives, I happily accompanied him. Trying to talk to him once in a while, hinting him about me once in a while. But this time I wasn't as accommodating as in the past. This is something that I don't want to do this lifetime.

Being with him frightens me. I feel like my heart would explode-no, be crushed by the pain he brought me and the sudden realizations from the last lives.

In this life I want to avoid them, I want to… escape.

Today is our first day of school; I'm on my third year and how to say… struggling.

I only have afternoon classes on Mondays and Thursdays while it's full day on Tuesdays and Fridays.

I entered my first class and sat next to the door, there were murmurs when I sat down but I didn't pay much attention to them. I guess they got shocked to my choice of seat cause I usually sat by the window where I can see my fiancés building.

I smiled bitterly thinking how I was happy with such small things like seeing where he is in the past.

A year after being engaged with Tristan, I found out that he's a year older than me and studying at Fresia University, a private university where the people with high social standing and people with brains studies.

I am not that studious and definitely not that smart, I'm average, but I still worked hard in studying to get on the University, and I finally got the result I want, although barely making it.

"She probably already realized she's not a match to Tristan."I heard someone whisper.

"Took her a long time." Mocking and sneers came after that and I couldn't help getting gloomy and wanting to bite my lower lip but stopped. This is not something new, I should be used to this.

Back then, I never knew his popularity was this big in the University when I enrolled, to them he's perfect, an idol.

A lot of girls are trying to seduce him even if they knew I'm his fiancé and had started to shove on my face why I can't be with him.

So, besides of studying, I got another work of cleaning the surrounding of my fiance. And I thought I did a great job at doing it secretly.

But one more reason why I pick on the girls hanging out around him is because, I'm envious.

Yes, I know. I am the fiance why would I be envious? But even though we are engaged, we barely talk or have contact with each other. and... and I don't have the guts to initiate a conversation with him unless necessary and he never called out for me.

Sometimes it even felt like that time at my 17th birthday was just a dream. None of it happened.

So when I saw those girls talking to him and seating beside him in the past, almost shoving their selves on him, I can't help but seethe with anger. I wanna pull their hairs, I wanna strangle their neck, how dare they, when I haven't even dined with him to lunch even once! How dare they act close to his friends when he hasn't even introduced them to me! How dare them!

I clenched my hands into a fist from remembering the past and thought of how tiring it was for me.

I took a glance at the group of girls talking about me. One of them is a girl I confronted in the past. Probably, some of them told Tristan of what I've done, but as long as he never reprimanded me, I never stopped. It's an "I'll destroy each and every girl who try to snatch my man!" then.

My eyes emitted a look of pity to these girls, they didn't know that it's not me who is their enemy anymore but my sister who Tristan is starting to have feelings with.