21 Chapter Twenty - I'm Sorry.
I sit in my bed, awake. I don't know what to do.
The sun is slowly rising as birds begin singing their morning songs. Everything is so happy, so fairytale-like.
I turn my head again towards him...
He is still asleep.
Why did he act so nice towards me for the past few weeks? He hates me... He hates me... That is why he hurt me, that is why he kicked me, that is why he hit me, that is why he whipped me... That is why he wanted to kill me.
I feel a tear running down my face as I continue to look at him, sleeping.
But he does look very peaceful when he is asleep, better than when he is awake.
He jitters, opening his eyes, but just slightly. Next, he stretches before opening his eyes fully.
He rubs his eyes before he looks at me. A big smile forms across his face.
"Good morning, beautiful, how did you sleep?" he asks me.
Beautiful?... He called me beautiful... He-he never called me that.
I bit my lip to stop more tears from falling down my face, as I force myself to look down at the white blanket covering my bruised legs.
"Hey... hey..." he gently says, walking over to me, his touch lingered on my shoulder, making me feel... reassured?
"Who are you?..." I ask him, I feel hurt.
"What do you mean?... It is me, Chris..." he says as his smile is substituted by a look of worry.
I begin to shake my head.
"No... No..." I mutter.
I feel him take my left hand, gently wrapping both his palms around my hand.
"Emma?... It is me... It is me, Chris... Please... Can you remember me?...".
I close my eyes, letting more tears fall down my face.
"Emma... Please look at me... Please..." I can hear him plead behind me. He never pleaded before, if anything, I was the one who pleaded.
"What are you going to do to me?..." I ask him, turning around to see his face.
When I did, I see him freeze.
"What do you mean by that, Emma? I am not going to do anything to you. Emma, I am here to protect you. I want to protect you.".
"You should have told me that a long time ago..." I reply, bitterly.
I can feel a lump form in my throat.
"Who are you?..." I ask him.
"I am Chris, Emma. It is me, Chris, " he replies.
"No... No, you are not Chris..." I reply.
"What... What do you mean, Emma?" He asks me as I can see a tear roll down his face.
My heart begins aching.
"What do you mean?..." he mutters, lowering his head as his hands grab his hair.
"Chris would never do this to me. He would never hurt me, he would never raise my hand on me, he would never whip me, kick me. He would never do the thing you did, Brenden..." I tell him coldly.
Suddenly the sobbing stops as he slowly looks up at me. I cannot describe the emotion on his face. He looks like he has just been shot.
"Where is Chris?..." I ask him.
"I am Chris... Emma, I am Chris... Don't you remember?...".
"You are Brenden... You are fucking Brenden!?" I yell out.
"You are the man who destroyed me, who hurt me, both emotionally and physically. You broke my heart.".
"Chris would never do that to me..." I add.
"So tell me, who are you?" I ask him again.
"Fine! I am Brenden, to you I am Brenden. The man who broke you, the psychopath who destroyed you. The bastard who raised his hand on you, not once, not twice and definitely not three times..." He replies, as more tears flow down his face.
"It is my fault that all of this happened, it is my fault that you are here, in this hospital... It is my fault that you are where you are now, instead of being home with your parents, your friends, your family, I have taken you, kidnapped you to be mine. And now... now, I have lost you. That I will never be able to forgive myself." he says before taking a pause.
"I am just a selfish prick who thinks about himself and nobody else...".
I just look at him as more tears drop from his face.
"But let me tell you one thing, do you know how many nights I have spent not been able to sleep, because of the thoughts that race through my head. Not a day would pass without me thinking about you. Yes, it is my fault, it is all my fucking fault, but I am willing to change, I have changed." he pauses again, just enough to hold my hand again.
"I have changed because I realized I cannot live without you...".
I just look at him. I don't believe a single word he says, I can't believe a single word he says. It just sounds too good to be true.
But he has been so nice, so sweet... loving for these past few weeks...
I don't know what to think.
"What will you do? What do you want to do with me?" I ask him, gripping the blanket as I am timid to find out what his answer will be.
"I want to bring you back home to me... I want you to give me a second chance... I want to show you how it is to live with me. I want to treat you like my queen.".
I close my eyes as my heart aches even more. It just sounds too good to be true. I lower my head, letting more tears flow down my face. Is this is all just an act? So that he can bring me home and torture me even more...
"What are you thinking, talk to me.".
Talking to him about my personal problems would be the last thing on my list that I'd want to do right now.
I don't bother replying. My face says it all.
"You want to ask me something... I can tell by the look on your face..." he says, leaving me confused.
Right, he is very observant, almost forgot about that...
"Ask away..." he adds.
"Why would you go through the hassle of introducing yourself under a new identity?" I ask him.
I see his gaze drop from me as he slightly frowns.
He takes a deep breath and swallows whatever is in his mouth.
"Because... Chris is my actual name.".
God, why am I even surprised...
I don't know what to say. I am mind blown and also angry. All this time he has lied to me. He faked his identity... My question to him now is, why?
"Why did you lie to me?...".
He looks at me as he bits his lips with frustration.
"Because... Because it would be a stupid move to tell a girl, that I am about to kidnap, my real name... Why would I risk myself getting exposed-" but I interrupted him before he could continue.
"Yeah, a risk that a naive, gullible and an 'easy-falling-for-a-guy' bitch would expose you... God, why am I even surprised.".
He just looks at me.
"Believe me, I wanted to tell you... Sooner or later... I really wanted to... I... I just didn't get the right time to do so..." he replies.
"Why? Why would you then bother telling me who you really are, I mean, I probably still mean nothing to you anyways. All the things that you said about how you miss me and how you couldn't live without me, I don't buy that. Because we both know it sounds too good to be true. All you can do is dream that you could treat me like that... You can wish, but you can't make it happen..."
"Why would you think that?" he asks me, he really has the nerve to ask me that?
"Is it not obvious!?".
"Isn't what obvious Emma? tell me?". I can see his move closer to me.
"You hate me... You hate me so fucking much. I can even show your hatred on me..." I reply with more tears spilling from my eyes. I roll up the sleeves of my arms. Bruise after bruise, it hurts just looking at them.
He shakes his head. "No... No I don't hate you..." he replies as he tries to put his hand on me, but I pull away.
"Why are you lying? Why are you lying to me?... It is too obvious, Brenden...". I let more tears spill down my cheeks, while my heart beats melancholy through my body.
He then gives me a look of frustration.
"Tell me then why have I been the way I have been these past few weeks. I was so nice to you, I still am nice to you, kind to you. Loving towards you. I... I changed for you..."
"All I am asking you is to give me another chance... Please..." he pleads. "I know I did too much wrong for you to think right of me... but please..."
"Tell me why I should give you a second chance..." I ask as my voice shakes, my heartache becoming even greater. I don't know what to think. "Give me a reason why I should give you another chance...".
I can see him lower his head, a big frown forming on his face.
"I don't know..." he barely whispers under his breath. I can feel his pain, his regret...
That was also what made the hurt in my heart ever greater, causing more tears to roll down my red cheeks.
"At this point, I don't think that me telling you 'I love you' will do anything. It will make you think otherwise..." his voice break at the end of the sentence.
Did... did he just say that he loves me?...
I begin sobbing harder as my heart beats faster.
"You... You love me?" I ask him through my river of tears, I let all my tears flow down my face, I can hear him silently sob too. At this point, I forget about Brenden, all I see now is Chris.
Moments pass before he nods his head, "but I don't deserve to love you...".
I look at him, I am trying to calm down but nothing works.
"A man is meant to care for his love, to love his love, to look after his love... I didn't do any of that..." he adds as he begins to sob harder.
"I am just a guy who looks at his own fucking interests..." His eyes lock with mine, I can see tears flowing down his cheeks as I shake my head.
"No... No... Don't say that..." I begin, his cries cause me to shed more tears.
"Stop trying to deny it... I am not a man... I am nothing... I am a sadistic piece of shit who destroyed you. The woman who made me feel love for the very first time, the woman who made me feel loved for the first time..." he says, lowering his head into his hands before breaking down into more tears.
I can't handle it anymore, I gently pull him in for a hug, I can feel him shake his head, "I don't deserve a hug, I don't deserve your love..." he whispers cause my chest to hurt.
"Shhh... Don't say that... please don't say that." I whisper, trying to soothe him.
"I am sorry for everything I did... I am sorry for hurting you. I know a sorry will not do anything, but I just want you to know that..." he takes a brief pause, before whispering, "I am so sorry...".
I slightly tighten my grip as we slowly sway from left to right and back. I listen to him mutter his sorrows right by my ear.
I let him cry on my shoulder as I try not to cry on his.
I take a deep breath.
"Don't make me regret this...".
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm gonna give you a second...
*Pats back and gives tissue*
WOOOOO!! Boy, that was something, my heart ached by just writing this...
As you may see... CLIFFHANGER (of some sorts...).
I want... okay 'want' may be a bit too enthusiastic (for 11 PM...), but I am hoping for the life of me that I will get my poop together and that I will get a sequel to this... SOON... Don't know when, and PLEASE don't pressure me in making a sequel because I write SHIT when I am under pressure, and I want you, my lovely readers, to read my bestest (BTW not a word...) ... *I say this even though my work is pretty shit...*... Basically, I like to take time in producing my work. Hope you understand!!
Also, me talking how I will make a sequel, or me saying that I will do anything will turn out the other way. So... you know... I would try to make a sequel. (sounds not so promising... hint hint )
Other than that, all jokes aside, I hope you truly enjoyed this story... book... whatever you want to call it, I hope you enjoyed it. Because if you did, it just makes this worth it!
Again, thank you all so much for reading this book, means the WORLD to me! Love you all so much!!
Yours truly and forever,
Strale <3
(And... here come the part when I (sadly) say 'The End').
The End. (For now).
