1 Chapter 00: Introduction

Youth don't ask for real love, lovers are like mothers don't ask for sincere love

Tine is a chic person

Welcoming of the new university students has passed, but when would the person that has my heart come.

One hit!

"*Ao! What the heck are you looking at? Click the like button."

(*Expression for surprise situations, kind of like oh my gosh) 

Kringggggggg

"I'm flattering you until my fingers are almost broken, *Ai'buffalo."

(*Ai is a pronounce used between close friends; buffalo here is the Thai water buffalo, boys usually use this to describe big figures between themselves)

"Sorry for being hot. Haha"

"Greattttttt. Can I kiss your cheeks once, *P'Tine." The devilish voice that sounded like he wanted to get hit belongs to a friend that is in my college gang. There are only 4 of us who are very close to each other. They told me to call them James Ji, Pope, and Mario (famous Thai actors). All of them together made up the gang male leads. But the truth is, there is no handsomeness whatsoever. Even their ankles are mediocre. How can they compete with other people?

(*Used for addressing older people)

The person that just spoke earlier is Peuk, nicknamed James Ji. His face looks nothing like James Ji, except for his wide forehead that looks like a monk (James Ji's role in Thong Nuea Kao).

As for the one next to me with a haircut like Inpitar – cute boy – Ai'Ohm, nicknamed Pope. He said that he is handsome in a gentlemanly way just like *Khun Pisut in Samee Tee Tra (Pope's role).

(*Polite way to address people, like Mr.)

The next one is the piggy eyed  Ai'Fong who is half Chinese. His mom sells gold in Yaowarat area but has now moved to the suburb to live. He lied about being chased by the mafia. He likes to believe that he looks like Mario because of his pink nipples. While Mario is mixed Thai-Chinese-German, he is 1/4 Thai-Chinese-*Lod Chong Singapore.

(*A famous dessert, made with green noodles, coconut milk, and crushed ice)

As for me, I'm not sure whether to call myself Nadech or Mark Prin. I'll wait for whose film's rating is higher then I'll be that person. Spit!

"Tine…"

But the laughter died down when a person interrupted.

Have you ever wondered why there are things that always have to be in pairs? Once they go in threes then one would feel left out. I am that one who always needs to have things in pairs. Even if it's with friendship or… with a lover.

To be frank, I have never been alone in my life. Maybe it is because I went to one of the four Jaturamitr's all-boys schools? That's why my life has always been beautiful. There were people who always came to talk to me. People who came to make my heart flutter. Up until my first year of university, my high school life has gradually changed and I couldn't stop myself from asking…

Why did I fall into this kind of situation!

Back in high school, I used to have a lot of girlfriends. I have to say that I was at the top of the class. You can try to ask the kids in my school and see for yourself. There isn't anyone who doesn't know about P'Tine Teepakorn of class 12/9. Whoever shakes their head and says no are probably nuts. My ideal type is the cute style, ones with warm hearts. As for girlfriends, I almost had every single personality out there. They mostly were from different schools. Ah! I was from an all-boys school. I had from…

The nerdy *girlfriend…

(*The actual word that the author used was แฟน which is lover and it is not gender-specific. I'll use this word where I think it is translated better)

"Ging, are you free today?" I asked with a very handsome voice. This person was the one that I spent most of my affection with because she was my first love. Pretty and was good at studies. Most importantly, she was very well-liked. Being able to be her boyfriend gave me the vibes of victory, like winning over Jaturamitr.

"Why?" She asked me back with a sweet voice.

"I wanted to invite you to Siam to play."

"Oh… I have math lessons at The Brain."

"Then tomorrow?…"

"Tomorrow I have Chemistry at O.U."

"Then Saturday? How about Saturday?"

"Sorry. I already booked for a class at Bio Beam. Then I have to go to study Physics at Yureka. Also English at Ms. Somsri. On Sunday, I have to learn Thai language at the Da'vance council.

"Then when will you be free?"

"Wait until I have the admission, okay? When I have a place to study, then we can go to play together."

So Ging dated me in this life but I can only go play with her in the next life? I wanted a girl lover, not a lover who is like Einstein mixed with Hitler. We broke up while being so in love because I accidentally told her to go and date her tutor instead. Ask me how things had turned out?…

She really went and dated her English tutor!

The cute, pretty girlfriend but also addicted to camera…

"Tine, selfie with me." This person is named Paengwan. She is a very feminine type of girl who seemed to always have a camera beside her, if you don't want to say that they stick with each other more than lice do.

"Ok."

"Get ready. Lindsey"

"Lindsey!!" I followed her. My smile almost reached the sides of my ears.

"Cherry…"

"Cherry!!"

"Cuteeeeeee" Next, she pinched my cheeks. Uiiii.

"Then let's eat."

"Ok. Waitttttttt. The cheese pie is out. Let's take some pictures. Tine, take pictures for me." Then she handed me the camera. It couldn't even be called "handed". May I use the word "shoved" instead to make more sense.

"Ok. Moo moo!"

Click! I quickly returned the camera after I finished. I was so hungry that it felt like my intestines were all rolled up.

"Ah, you took a picture of me looking fat."

"Oh really? Let's take it again. Again. Ao! 3…2…"

"You already took it?"

"Yes."

"You…You didn't count to 1. I haven't posed yet." Damn. I saw you pose to the camera just now.

Finished! End of puppy love. I can't go on.

The indecisive girlfriend…

"Honey, what do you want to eat? Let me know so I can take you there."

Every time I go out with someone, I will try to show most of the "pampering" side of me. I would instantly buy what my girlfriend wants. I would take her to where she wants to eat. Just like today.

"I don't know. Depends on you, honey." This is what girls are like. They want to let others think for them what they want to eat. 

"Then let's go eat a shrimp bucket, ok?" 

"Shrimp bucket? I don't want to. I can't finish all of it."

"What about spaghetti? I remembered honey likes to eat carbonara."

"Noooooo. It's too greasy. If you give it to me now, I might even throw up." 

"What do you want instead?" 

"Whatever you want." I started rolling my eyes, trying to think of all of the cuisines in my head.

"You want Japanese food?"

"Bored of it."

"Do you want to go and eat Pratunam chicken? It's very famous."

"Fatty as hell."

"Let's eat salad instead. Salad doesn't have fat."

"No. I won't get full."

"Then what does honey want to eat?"

"If I knew, would I let you think for me? Think about it." Shit! If we keep on thinking like this, I don't know if I could eat in my next life. You ask yourself!!

The like to show-off girlfriend…

"Why does Tine have no time for Bebe these days?" A catholic school student with a pretty face, cute. She looked more excited than a 3 month old baby, unboxing her stuff.

"I've been studying too much. I'm free today so I wanted to ask you out for a movie." I still kept the motto of pampering my lovers. When she was mad, I had to quickly appease her. 

"What car will Tine drive to pick me up?"

"Civic. I borrowed from my older brother."

"I don't want. Never ridden a Civic ever since I was born. The seats must be very hard. Instead, let Bebe's house driver pick us up, okay?" Does she ride on a spaceship or what? Does it feel like clouds sitting on those seats?

"Ok. Let's find something to eat after watching a movie."

"Wait"

"Did something happen?"

"Bebe's been planning to go shopping for a while. I feel a lack of makeup these days. I have to go buy MAC lipsticks, especially the Kinda Sexy and Please Me shades. I also have to stop by Dior to buy perfumes to use for school. I'm too bored of going around having people use the same perfume as me. I have to change my handbags too. Wearing the Louis handbag somewhat makes me look cheap.

"Oh, ok, ok."

"Which brand of handbags does Tine think is beautiful?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure about the girls' tastes." But if I must say, it would've been Jacob (cheap, black school bag) or canvas bags. Would you buy it?

"Tine. You can't help Bebe with anything at all." I was shocked at the sentence. She made me want to bring the whole Rong Kluea market out for N'Bebe to choose her things from.

I broke up with her without thinking, not waiting for mom to come and slap my head!

The attention seeker girlfriend…

"Why didn't Tine pick up my phone calls when I called you?" I was constipated until my butt felt like it was crushed. How on earth did you expect me to pick up the phone. But I couldn't say that to my lover so I thought of other excuses.

"Because I was busy. I've been studying really hard."

"You have to study even at lunch?"

"'Because I have to prepare for the admission."

"Yea! I'm not important. Without me, would Tine be sad?" Not reallyyyyyyy.

"What did you say again?"

"Sniff!"

Then she hung up. When I gained my consciousness back, she posted a picture of herself crying on Facebook, tagging me as a form of retaliation. Oiiiiiiiiiii. The whole community criticized me for it. Do you even need to ask?

The freaking always-on period girlfriend…

"Namhwan, what happened?" I raised my finger to poke the other's shoulder. I could see her making a grimace, upsetting face. She had been doing so ever since we were still on the BTS (Thai Skytrain). I was so kind as to take her to the shopping center, thinking that it would ease her anger. Who knew that it would actually worsen the situation.

"No need. Tine made Namhwan upset." When did I…

"Upset about what? Tine doesn't know anything."

"If Tine doesn't know what made Namhwan upset then stay away from me. My mood is not good."

"Then what happened to you? Tell me so that I could fix it."

"I'm on my period, ok? Stop bothering me and stop making me angry."

"Ok, I'm breaking up with you."

Afterwards, my beautiful high school life ended when I stepped my foot onto the front gate of the university. Due to my admission, it is destiny that blew me away to a province university rather than having my joy of life at the Siam Paragon. And because fate has driven me to this far away place, a chic person like Tine had been in a situation that is even weirder than being challenged to fight on the Sanam Luang ring. Its…

"Tine, can you hear me?" The most peculiar voice I had ever heard in my life.

"Is… there anything?"

"Cookies."

"For me?"

"Uhm."

I looked at the person standing in front of me from head to toes. His hands hold a box of cookies, and I have to accept it so that I don't betray the person's feelings.

"Thank you."

"Tine Teepakorn, first-year student of the Law faculty, I like you!"

Shittttttttttttttttttttttt. Are they pulling a prank? Is it a hidden camera for the morning comedian show?

"Are…are you kidding?"

"I really like you. Really like you. Could you be my lover?" Only listen until here is enough to make me drop the box of cookies on the floor.

Should be recorded in the Guinness Book. This is the most exquisite experience that ever happened in my life.

Being confessed.

But!!

The person that confessed to me

Is a man!