5 Chapter 5

It was Wednesday and it was the fifth period in school. I actually have Elizabeth in my last period. She sits in the back while I sit in the front of the class. I politely ask to go to the bathroom, so I leave the classroom then walk down the hall to turn right where I stop in front of Elizabeth's locker. Send the Message. Send the message. She's fucking with Zen and thinks it's cute. I took the fire extinguisher off the wall and started to bang it against her lock until it falls off. I then open her locker and pull everything out, papers fly and spread all on the floor. I open my book bag and pull out the plastic bag filled with the three dead squirrels I killed this morning....okay yes I killed three squirrels this morning, I know. It sounds like I'm fucking crazy but I'm not. It's for each one of the abortions she has had. That's not surprising, all she does is fuck for the attention she isn't getting at home.

I place the squirrels with their open guts together and they start to bleed and leak out of the locker onto the floor. Ugh, this reminds me. I should clean my knife later. My hunting knife, that is. Like sterilizing it and maybe polish it, I don't want it to smell. Oh, I should buy more tools. More hunting knives, I need scalpels, maybe a saw, and a knife sharpener. But no guns, well not yet at least. Ahh too much thinking, focus. I go back in my bag and pull out a red can of spray paint. I spray paint on the inside of the door "STEP. OFF." I back away from the locker and grab my bag as I head back to class where I sit down and go back to writing. I know what I said before but this time I mean it, Elizabeth. This is your final warning. Last chance.

The bell rings and goes down the hall, past the broken locker, and to the stairwell to meet Malcolm, Alex, and Zen to go to lunch. They all come to greet me as they exit the same classroom. Zen wraps his arm around my neck gently and holds me close to him. I greet my two friends and before we go to lunch, we hear a gut-wrenching and horrifying scream come from behind us. I look behind me and of course, it's Elizabeth. Her eyes start to wander around the hall to look for someone, anyone, a sign but everyone went back to moving classrooms and talking loudly. She looks scared until our eyes meet and the fear mixes with anger. I extended my arm up, took my hand and made a finger gun with it, Then aimed it down to Elizabeth slowly, right between her eyes. Bang. I pull the trigger. She is stagnant and still. I can see the panic in her eyes from here. She didn't know what to do and that look on her face made me smile nice and wide. Yes Elizabeth, You should be very fucking afraid of me.

We go to lunch and sit at our table with our food. We talk and talk, talk about drama, talk about life, talk about everything. Malcolm talks about drugs and parties.

"Yea so, that popular guy, Brandon?? He's planning a house party for next week as a way to 'start off the new year.'"

"How do you know that, Malcolm?"

"Oh I went over to his place to sleep with him/steal his drugs, he was talking out his ass about a fresh start and wanting to make a statement for the new year even though it's over our break." He drinks his milk as if he didn't just say he was stealing drugs.

"What are you stealing drugs for??" Alex intervenes. The look on her face is a look of concern.

"So I can...use them??"

"What drugs are you stealing?" Zen asks, But I look at him.

"Why does that matter???" I ask.

"I'm stealing those pills that make you feel light and woozy. They dissolve in my drink. They make me feel kinda tired and sometimes I don't really remember what happens after they kick in but eh." Malcolm really just sat there and admitted to doing pills. I look at him like he's stupid. "What?"

"You're a dumbass. Why can't you just smoke weed like every other kid in Private School?" I say as I start to laugh. "How much does he sell the pills for?"

"Two for $10."

"Oh my god, that's not even bad." Zen seems impressed.

"It really isn't, to be honest. I just like to steal. Plus that Jock has a large ass supply and isn't sharing sooooo I'm just going to sleep with him in secret when I feel like it, and while I'm there, I'm taking what I want."

"You only sleep with people you want stuff from," Alex says. She looks disappointed.

"Well duh. I don't have crushes on people because-"

"Because of what happened with that boy you liked in 8th grade. Because he beat you up because you tried to kiss him. And when your father found out, he rejected you." I said. He had told this story a couple times now.

"Yea...yea that. So to me, it's easier to just fuck and call it a day. Crushes or liking people more than friends, in general, can always backfire. Like they can always hurt you." He looks away from us and to the wall, avoiding eye contact.

"What if someone has a crush on you then?" Zen asks as he pulls my hips and pulls me closer to him.

"I advise them to stop liking me."

"So you are just going to just be alone?"

"Easier than being hurt."

"You're hurting yourself by being alone in this way. I don't know why you are pretending it doesn't hurt you but I can clearly see it is."

"Please stop, Xena. Not right now." He's still avoiding Eye Contact.

"Malcolm, I really want to see you happy with someone. Please listen." I say as I look at him. Silence filled our table for a while. Elizabeth came over to Zen, literally sat right next to him. She completely ignored my existence. He seemed to look at her but look away a lot as he shifted his body in my direction as if he was trying to ask for help.

"Soooo Zen, you know about Brandon's party??" She's smiling so goddamn hard. She's doing it to get me mad. I want to beat her face in but Zen would be upset.

"Yes. What about it?" He replies.

"I wanted to know if you would be my date." She obviously, OBVIOUSLY, didn't get my message even though it was clear as day. She shifted her head to the side and looked me in the face with a smirk. Oh. She understood perfectly and she's aware of what she's doing....okay.

"Oh, I don't know if I'm going." Zen replies.

"THAT AND," I butt in, "YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND."

He looks back and smiles at me but I look at him like I want to slap him because I do.

"I'm sure she won't mind." Elizabeth's voice lowers but I still hear her as She takes his hands and rubs it over her breasts. Zen immediately jerks his hands back and backs away from her. "Bye, Zen." She winks at him and leaves the table.

"Who the fuck does she think she is?! Always on you, I should go fuck her up." I get my bag and I start to get up. I'm heated.

"No Xena, Sit down." His tone had changed.

"But sh-"

"But nothing. Sit Down."

I listen to him and sit down. I look him deep in the eyes with a look of annoyance and anger. "Zen she keeps fucking flirting with you and I'm your girlfriend. It makes me really mad and uncomfortable. I just want her to stop so obviously I need to do something."

"I don't want you to. I know how you feel and I understand that it makes you uncomfortable but I don't want you to lash out on her." He was really calm about it. Calmer than me. That upset me.

"But Zen, She only likes you because I like you."

"Okay but that doesn't mean I like her back. I'm dating you and only you." He put his pinky up. "Promise me you won't do anything."

"Zen, just let me talk to h-"

"Promise me."

I put my hand behind my back slowly as if I'm scratching my back and I cross my fingers as I use my other hands to lock my pinkie with his. "Promise."

His serious face turned into a smile. "Good."