12 Chapter 12

I get home and change. I put the ring on my dresser and start to pace back and forth. Okay how am I going to do this, how am I going to give him a ring and make it special?? Hmm, I kinda miss him though. Wait, he hasn't texted or called me all day. Is he mad at me??? I know I've been distant lately but I would still appreciate a text....or a call, like I want to hear his voice. I wonder what he's doing now. I feel my heart start to speed up. Did I do something wrong??? I should call him, I'm gonna call him.

I pick up my cellphone and call him. Ring ring ring...ring ring ring. My pacing gets faster as he takes a long time to answer.

"Hey." He picks up. His voice was kinda low. He didn't seem irritated, he just seemed tired.

"Hey! You didn't text me all day." I say, still kinda nervous. "Is everything okay??"

"Yea, I was just helping my family with Christmas stuff. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve."

"Yea, I know. So umm... did ya get me anything?"

"Yea I did. I thought about how much you would like it too. I thought I did a good job."

"Good! I got you a gift too..." Why does this feel so awkward?

"I'm not gonna give you the gift for a while though." He said. "I wanna hold it. Hold it until it feels right, ya know?"

"Oh...then I'll hold mine too...Hey Zen, is everything okay between us?"

"Hm? I mean that depends on you."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you've been distant a bit lately. So I figured that I was probably being too pushy with you when I was asking what's wrong or telling you to talk to me, so that was my fault. I didn't text or call you today because I was giving you the space that you seemed like you needed. I don't want to force you to talk to me so I'm letting you text me when you feel like it." He said.

"Oh..." Maybe I have been distant. "Zen, I'm just not ready to talk okay???"

"I know that, that's why I stopped asking."

"Is that attitude in your voice?"

"No, I'm just saying. " His voice was getting monotone which started to slightly annoy me.

"Yeah, okay."

"See, why are you giving me an attitude Xena??? I'm just talking to you about what I think."

"You could've texted me."

"You didn't seem in the mood to talk to me about anything."

"Okay."

"So what do you need from Me, Xena? What can I do to be better?"

"Just talk to me. Support and love me."

Okay, I'll do that, but you have to do the same for me. Talk to me, Xena. And I'll talk to you."

"Okay."

"Okay." We sat in silence for a while. "Hey, you want to know a secret?"

"I don't know, Zen. Um sure."

"Okay, but you have to tell me one back, okay? Let's make it a game to get closer."

"...Yea. Yea let's do that,"

"Okay, I'll go first. I used to eat my boogers until I was 7 years old."

"That's fuckin gross, nasty!" Ewwwww, Zen! It put a smile on my face though.

"Yea, I know." I can hear him chuckling through the phone.

"I don't know how I feel about kissing you now." My pacing stops and I lay on my bed.

"Hahaha. Your turn."

"I have a scar on my back from falling down the stairs and a nail scraping on my back." You know that scar is from when mom-shut the fuck up, I've had enough of you today.

"Jeez! That sounds like it hurt. But I've never seen a scar." He says. His voice is starting to fill with enthusiasm.

"Undress me and you'll see."

"Just tell me when and I will." A rush of heat filled me and made me imagine very dirty things. Being connected...with Zen...

"I-I wa-oh..okayyy." My voice was getting softer, fuck! I know I'm nervous but relax. It's just Zen...naked...and inside of me. Holy shit, I bet you that would feel good. I'm starting to miss him now...yea, why the fuck was Elizabeth in my head?

Our night carried on with us sharing dumb and small things about each other until 2 am. Thank God, we were on break or we would have school in the morning. When we hung up, I was still left in my room with the thought of him touching me...and being inside me. Between my legs start to get hot and I get the urge to do something more to satisfy myself. It's late though, I should probably go to sleep... so I try to but my skin becomes inflamed and my mind goes crazy with my own thoughts! Too hot. Too hot for clothes. I Take off my shirt and pants. Still really really hot. I take off my underwear and bra and lay under my sheets naked. I toss and turn and toss and turn, trying to shake this feeling. It won't go away!

I slide my hand in between my thighs and start to rub myself in a circular motion over and over and over. My mind fills with The thought of what could happen as Zen takes his shirt off, then mine and groped and squeezed my chest. He would kiss my lips then slowly start to work his way down my body as he laid me down. He would slowly rub his against me and with this thought, I slip two fingers inside of myself and go in and out, in and out. My free hand grabs my breast and rubs my nipple. Just like he would do to me. Slow and steady but would go good and rough when he's ready. Our sweaty bodies would rub together and he would moan in my ears. My legs would wrap around his as I feel every inch of him grinding against me. I start to get breathless and my mind starts to race and only focus on Zen's eyes. I can be on top of him and sit down on it as I look him in the eyes, yes! Please, give me more! It would give me a sweet release. I feel my body getting closer and closer to the edge until it is as if I want to explode! Please Zen, give it to me! Give it all to me, I want you deep inside me, please! The images shift to Elizabeth as I grind against her.

I come back to reality and the want for pleasure and release is still there. I slide my fingers out of myself, they are now wet and my other hand uncups myself. I spread out on my bed as I am left with the thought of Zen....as I am left with the thought of Elizabeth and I having sex....why?

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