2 I Will Even If It Kills Me

Angelie Satterle's POV

"Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Ramirez"

"Angelie Satterle Ramirez... Ramirez suits you well!"

"You two, look good together. Congrats newlyweds."

"Since we were in high school, I knew that you two will end up together. A perfect match indeed."

The noise...I can't take it. I still can't accept the fact that... I'm not destined to be with him. I know I married a good person but.... something is missing.... something is wrong. Should I be called selfish? Thinking only about what I feel without recognizing what will Felix feel once he hears my thoughts.

I looked around, searching for a trace of a man that has brown eyes but..I can't find any. I wanted to glare at everyone who keeps saying 'Angelie Satterle Ramirez or Mr. and Mrs. Ramirez' even though that is normal since we're married. It's just hard because ... It's supposed to be Santiago! It's supposed to be him! He's supposed to be here...

"Mrs. Ramirez, its time to take your wedding pictures," our wedding coordinator says. I forced a smile as she leads me the way towards Felix. One last glance before I finally accept that I'm tied to his best friend, one last glance... I just have to say my goodbye to him for the last time, I say to myself as I looked around hoping to see those tantalizing eyes and I did not fail ....'cause in the corner of the church, I caught someone who is staring at me with a pool of tears on his face.

"W-wait" I glance at the wedding coordinator, asking her to give me some time. I just have to talk to him and give myself a proper closure. I glance back at Nathan but he is covered by the guest slowly exiting the ceremony and moving their way to where the reception takes place."

Mrs. Ramirez we have to go." I ignored her and head towards where Nathan is, bumping and ignoring the guests who're greeting and congratulating me and not minding my gown that has a long trail. The guests move out of the way as I walk rapidly to where he is but I just found a cold and empty corner. My shoulders sink as I gasped for air, preventing myself from crying.

I glanced at someone who snaked his arm on my waist and found Felix trying to force a smile."Let's go?" he asked as he dragged me towards where the picture taking takes place. I smiled bitterly and slightly nod as I walk with disappointment and bitterness written on my face.

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"Are you happy?" Felix asked as he sways my body to the melody of the song.

~If I had to live my life without you near me

The days would all be empty

The nights would seem so long

With you I see forever, oh, so clearly

I might have been in love before

But it never felt this strong~

I can relate to the song. Spending my life without Nathan is like breathing but not living, having eyes but can't see, having a proud nose but can't smell, having ears but can't hear, and having a mouth but can't speak. Living with an empty feeling.

~Nothing's gonna change my love for you

You oughta know by now how much I love you

One thing you can be sure of

I'll never ask for more than your love~

"Angelie, you okay?"

I'll never ask for more than his love. He's more than enough and he's all that I need but he's the only one I can't ha-- I get back into reality when Felix stopped moving. I glance at him curiously when I realize that the song is still ongoing.

"This is our wedding. Please just for once, think also about me." He clenched his jaw and look away.

"I'll just dance with your mother. Go ahead and dance your Dad." He left me with my mouth opened halfway, unable to utter any words. What just happened?

"Do you want me to die?" My mind went back to reality when Daddy spoke.

"D-dad! Of course not!"

"Then fix your actions! The way you react when you saw your Ex even if you just got married, you're humiliating me," he hugged me tightly. If I am one of the guests I would also think that this is a sweet scene. My Fathers' voice is just enough for me to hear.

"You'll never talk to him again," he said with finality. Tears rolled down to my cheeks.

"D-dad, you know I ca--." he kissed my forehead as I hear from the background saying how sweet my father is and how lucky I am. He left me immediately, not letting me finish my sentence. As the song finished, one rule started to implement. A rule that will surely break my heart but if it will save my father's, then I"ll obliged no matter how shattering it is. Avoid Nathan at all costs.

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The event is filled with happy aura. Everyone in this place shouts wealth. I looked around and saw how fancy this place is. No doubt that me and my husband belongs an influential family. I'm not used to it. Even though I also grew up in a luxurious family because .... my dream is simple ... it's simple but it's hard to reach. I can buy and get everything that I want. I did catch him in my arms but he slipped away. I feel nothing but a hollow inside me. Probably cause he's not here to fill it up ... I should accept that he'll never be here beside me again.

I excused myself and go out. I need to breathe. This place is just so suffocating.

"The tombstone, shall we remove it? She might discover what we've done years ago.""Come on. There are thousands of graves in the country. It's a miracle if she finds a grave named like her. Besides, she's also tied to Felix. There's no point to feel worried."

I saw my parents talking about something. Tombstone? What's with the tombstone? Why do I have this feeling that they're talking about me? Maybe I'm just imagining things?

"Mom, Dad, what are you doing here? It's cold here, come inside."

"S-Satterle, how long have you been there? Have you heard anything?" My mom seems nervous.

"Well, I heard a little. Are there any problems?"Her nervous expression is added with an angry one.

"Where're your manners? You knew it's rude to eavesdrop. Besides, why did you leave your husband? You should be with him while entertaining the guests."

"I'm sorry Mom, dad. I won't do it again. Let's get inside Dad. Your illness may get worse."

"And also Satterle, if I were you I will avoid Nathan. You don't want to kill your Dad, do you?" My mom left me hanging for words. My Dad has coronary artery disease and he had a heart attack once.

"I-I will, Mom." I sat on the ground and covered my face with my palms. "I will even if it kills me."

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