35 Like This, Every Day

I heaved a sigh of relief. The fullness of him inside me felt so soothing, so … right, as if I had been left empty all this time, only waiting for him to fill that craving.

Craving. That was it. I didn't realize until this trip that my longings for him had already grown into an addiction. An obsession that had become an indispensable part of my life, that I could no longer let go of or live without, even for just a few days.

I draped my arms over his shoulders. Water sluiced down, rolling onto his damp hair flowing down his chest. His skin felt even softer than usual from the steam and mist. "Bai Ye …" I whispered against the sound of gentle waves lapping to his rhythm. "When you said you'll stay at Mount Hua … and spend more time with me, did you … did you really mean it?"

It wasn't that I doubted him, but I was afraid to let my hopes up only to find out that it was nothing more than a fleeting thought crossing his mind, or that he had said it just to ease my worries. I didn't want to be separated from him ever again, but I wasn't naive enough to forget that he had his own responsibilities and pursuits in life.

The look in his eyes seemed to waver for a moment in the flickering candlelight. He circled an arm around me, leaning my head against his palm and keeping my back cushioned from the hard ceramic tub wall. "I mean everything I say, Qing-er. I've never lied to you, and I never will."

I gazed at him, stunned by the gravity of his promise.

He pulled me forward into a soft kiss. His tongue brushed over my lips, slipping inside and swiping lightly in the barest touch. The tingles mixed with the growing heat in my lower body like fuel added to fire. I stifled a moan.

"But …" I managed only one word. I wanted to ask him if he had made the decision solely because of me, if he would regret such sacrifices for a mere disciple. But I couldn't brace myself to hear the answers.

"As I told you before," he nibbled my bottom lip and said, "I make my own choices for everything I do, and I won't regret them."

His words set the refueled fire ablaze. To hear such promises spoken with that reassuring, mesmerizing voice while he was on me … within me … was a treat that I never could've imagined. My body answered the calling before I knew it, spreading wide with yearnings beneath him, seeking his kiss, gripping him harder.

"I'm glad … and thankful." It was the only thing I could think of to say.

He tightened his hold on me and deepened the kiss, tangling his tongue with mine, sweeping and stroking inside my mouth the same way he did to me below. The fire coursed through me from head to toe. My legs squirmed underwater, scorched by the heat, and I heaved for breaths.

"Besides," he added when he released me for a moment, giving me a chance to gasp for air, "what is there to regret if I get to spend more time with you—like this—every day?"

He sealed my lips again, more fiercely and savagely than ever. Heat spiraled upward from where he thrust hard into me, consuming my sensations just like the way he consumed my breaths.

"Bai … Bai Ye …" I couldn't keep up with his kiss anymore. I panted madly against his lips and thrashed in the flowing bed of petals, then registered belatedly what he had just said.

Like this … every day …

No, words like these couldn't have come from him. But a part of me was ecstatic at the thought of it and the thought of what he envisioned before, on the summit of that hill at the first light of sunrise. The temptation of sharing such a life with him … was irresistible.

"Do you like it this way, Qing-er?" His wet fingers traced my cheeks. "Do I please you?"

The bath suddenly felt too hot. The shock from his questions was the last straw that opened up my senses to the fullest, and I moaned with every movement of him that ignited wildfires inside me. How could I … How could I not like this?

The realization was terrifying. I thought I had always known what I wanted from him—his attention, his care, his love—but this … this pleasure of the flesh … was something new. I never knew I wanted this. Only my body spoke the truth as I arched my back, bringing myself deeper into him, desperately asking for more. 

He heard my silent plea. His hand glided down, hotter and silkier than the bathwater, testing the limit of my sensations until he cupped my breast and closed his fingertips over my nipple.

"Ah … Bai Ye …" I cried. I burned. I seethed. Something trickled down my forehead, and I couldn't tell if it was sweat or water. I clawed at his hair and pleaded in broken whimpers. "Please … ah … give it … give it to me …"

Never had I thought myself capable of saying such things. But at that moment, I only wanted him deeper, faster. I only wanted him to take me hard, to carry me with him over the peak and give me that elated relief.

He obliged.

I tilted my head back and moaned out loud, letting him set my senses free. Petals rode the waves and lashed hard into my shoulders. Water splashed all over us, dripping onto the floor. It was a waste of the herbal bath, but I didn't care. Every thrust of him pushed my sensations to new heights, and when I cried my ultimate pleasure with the final crash of water and petals and wild tremors, a word flashed like lightning in my mind as if I had just learned it:

Desire.