1 John Lennon vs Bill O'Reilly (ERB Season 1 Episode 1)

Lyrics

John Lennon:

Help! You're making my ears bleed! You need a muzzle!

Why are you pissed off all the time? Didn't your mum give you a cuddle?

You're the type of guy who could die of a heart attack just in the shower!

You need to chill out for a minute and smoke weed for an hour!

Every time I watch your show, all you do is scream at me,

And your face looks like a shit I took, high on LSD!

I'm John Lennon; I'm a legend! I can see through all your tricks!

I wonder how much George Bush paid you to suck his dick!

Bill O' Reilly:

You fucking long hair, living in your yellow submarine!

Well, you're about to get sunk by the right-wing political machine!

Stop your presses, Lennon! You call me Mr. Bill O'Reilly!

When it comes to squashing Limeys, I come recommended highly!

You're weak! Between you and me, there's no comparison!

I'll beat you so bad, you weep gently like George Harrison!

You're Paul McCartney's bitch with less talent than Ringo,

And I'd rather suck George Bush's dick than Yoko Ono's!

John Lennon:

(Well,) You can't buy me love, but I'll kick your ass for free. 

I'll take Maxwell's silver hammer and give you a lobotomy!

I'm tired of how you scheme to stir the people up!

Why don't you just take a vacation and shut the fuck up!

Bill O'Reilly:

'Cause I'm evil, heart blacker than Don Cheadle!

Ten-thousand-dollar shoes I used to stomp out a Beatle!

Don't tell me to shut the fuck up, that's how I survive!

Now, here's Sting. What? Fuck it, we'll do it live!

(Bill O'Reilly won in my opinion)