9 Ch. 9: I’ll make you falter

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The room was silent for a moment until the Captain turned around to face us. Her eyes had a silent judgment in them and everyone knew what it was about.

"So, do you understand where your Order failed now?"

The Captains voiced was like a literal whip to the others in the room. It made me feel even more like a child and I slumped into my chair.

"Failed. You don't get to tell me about failure. I had to fight my brother and leave him to die on a forsaken planet. I watched as he massacred the only family I ever had and destroyed my home. I thought I taught him well but it seems I was mislead. Just like us all."

Master Shaddoc let out a whisper and had to clear his throat before he talked again. "You mean the Chosen One? Are you saying Anakin Skywalker did all this along with Palpatine?"

It looked like Master Obi-Wan's words finally caught up to him and he simply put his head in his hands and silently wept.

But the Captain had no sympathy for him.

"Isn't this ironic. You always seemed to know more than everyone but really you're just a bunch of pompous jackasses who sat in their big tower for to long. You became blind to the world and the people in it so much that you couldn't even see the biggest evil to be in the galaxy in thousands of years. Now this "Big Bad Sith Lord" of yours turned your Chosen One into his Ultimate Weapon."

"No wonder your Order was destroyed, you all think you're so great just because you're Jedi. Never crossed your mind that you had to be 'human' and you could be infallible."

"That's not fair!"

The words burst from my mouth before I was thinking and everyone in the room looked at me. Again, I felt so small and insignificant underneath their gazes. Not like when my old Master would look at me like I wasn't even a person but like I didn't know what I was really talking about.

"Fair? Who cares about fair, kid. The Jedi Order didn't care about fair when they let you be a slave for how ever many years you were. The Jedi Order didn't care that it was fair that they dragged us all into a galaxy wide war without putting it to a vote. And this one," the Captain pointed at Master Obi-Wan. "Didn't care about being fair to Zavart just because he was a Sith. It doesn't matter if you're part of a race or species or whatever else, you can't judge them all based on the few you've met."

"I'm not xenophobic Captain. But I've met a lot of Sith in my life and they have all been evil to their core. They could not be redeemed," he whispered the last part out.

"Oh like Jedi don't ever turn evil in the whole history of the galaxy? They don't ever use their power and privilege for their own gain once in a while? You think that you're that infallible?"

I saw Master Obi-Wan hesitate in his answer for her after glancing at me. It seemed like he had no way to say his words without it sounding like she was right all along.

"That's it, I'm done arguing about this with you. You clearly have a hard on for it and issues you need to work out for yourself so you can do it away from us."

Here she turned to the three of us but looked more at Masters Wamo and Shaddoc.

"When you're ready come back to the ship and we'll leave. But it'll just be you three, I don't have any space for more."

She clearly looked at everyone else in the room making her point clear and then left as well. Again, no one said anything to stop her.

"She's not right, right? You rescued me from being a slave because I was a slave, right? Because it was the right thing to do, right?" my voice was a whisper by the time I stopped talking, an ugly thought forming in my head the whole time.

"Of course Drazad, we knew we could help you and chose to," Master Wamo instantly turned to me. A little too fast for my taste.

"Then why didn't you save anyone else? There were others there that were the same age as me, were tougher than me, had survived longer or were beaten more. Why didn't you rescue them too?"

"We didn't have time to save—"

"Was it just because I could use the Force?" I cut Master Shaddoc off before he could say more. I looked him straight in the eyes and I could see him hesitate with an answer. That was all I needed.

I bolted from my chair and ran out of the room. I barely knew where I was going but I couldn't be there anymore. The yells chased after me the whole way.

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I hadn't even made it back to the ship yet when I got called from behind by Ilawatizo.

"Hey! Wait up!"

I turned and saw her jogging towards me and then slow to a walk. I have to say, she moves....very well.

"Hey, my eyes are up here."

I let a small smile grace my lips. "I know, but you look really good down there too."

(It's been a while since I've talked to a woman okay, not my best one-liner.)

"You tell that to all the women?"

"Only the ones who save my life and don't kidnap me," I was glad she rolled with my terrible sense of playful flirting. I didn't want another person on the ship having a grudge against me.

"Well, don't go making it a habit. I can't do it all the time and you should be able to defend yourself," she finally reached me and stood in front of me, slightly shorter but not showing she cared about it.

"Now that I have this again I'll be sure to do that," I indicated to my lightsaber.

"I didn't want to say this before but to be honest, compared to the Jedi's yours seems like it was built by spare parts a Jawa found lying around."

"Ouch, if it wasn't for that teasing smile I'd take that personally," I started to turn and held out my arm for her to take. "You want me to escort you back to the ship? Who knows what kind of ruffians you might meet along the way that'll cause trouble."

This got a laugh out of her finally which was almost music to my ears. It seemed I might have won one person over already, maybe.

"Well that's why I have this baby," she laid a hand on the sidearm attached to her hip. "But I won't turn down a offer like that—"

Suddenly cries of surprise were heard and we both turned to see the Kid sprinting through people, not caring about who he ran into. He started to leap over some and scrambled onto a rooftop and quickly disappeared from our view. Not long after Masters Wamo and Shaddoc were seen smoothly weaving around people and stopped in front of us.

"Have you seen Drazad?! He ran off and we don't know which way to go to start looking."

I arched an eyebrow at Master Wamo, "Shouldn't you be able to sense his presence with the Force?"

"It's very hard to do that with the state of the planet right now. Plus we don't know which direction to start looking in so if we just reach out with our senses we could miss him. If we could concentrate it in one direction it would make it a lot easier."

"Well in that case," Ilawatizo pointed in the opposite direction that Kad went. "I heard people yelling out in surprise over that way. He probably got spooked by them and lost his sense of direction."

"He's probably gaining more ground on us, let's go Wamo!"

Shaddoc instantly disappeared in a burst of Force Speed and leapt over the busy street where people were just calming down from the surprise of their day.

"Zavart, we—" Master Wamo still stood staring at me. Torn between wanting to say something and looking for her almost Padawan.

"You have a child to catch Master Wamo. You shouldn't keep him waiting."

I tried not to be cold and keep it neutral. If she wanted to talk to me it could be done after Kad was found. She took the hint and soon chased after her fellow Jedi Master, and the wrong lead on where to go.

"Why did you tell them to go the wrong way? Kad could get into a lot of trouble right now."

She turned to me and her demeanor did a compete 180 degrees.

"That kid was also taken from the only world he knows and thrust into something that he really has no idea about. And now, that world is crumbling around him since the Jedi Order was destroyed. He's going to be hunted either by his old Master or this new Empire and we both just ripped into probably the last remaining official Jedi in front of his eyes. He doesn't need their support and guidance he needs your tough love and real experience since you're both going through just a little of the same thing. So go find him."

I looked in the direction the boy had disappeared in and saw the setting sun bathe the sky in a painful yellow and orange. It brought the ghost of memories I really didn't want to have right now.

"Go, I'll be fine by myself. We're in no danger on this planet but we can't stay divided like this. They found that boy and you for a reason."

I let out a sigh in knowing she was right. "I don't have a comlink to get in touch with everyone—"

"Take mine. The Jedi will probably return to the ship eventually and I'll let them know what's going on. Once you find him you can let us know and meet us back at the ship."

I took the communication device from her and just nodded my head before turning away. I was in no hurry to chase after Kad and just walked in the direction I knew he went. With the way he was running his lead on me would be pretty substantial by now and we didn't need two people running around with their heads cut off while the planet was mourning and getting ready for the funeral procession. Already candles were being lit and lights were turning to a lower setting.

I thought about reaching out with the Force like Master Shaddoc had said he was doing but decided not to. I was still shaken from my experience on the ship and just wasn't ready yet. Instead I thought I'd just let the Force guide me and let it take me to the Kid if I was supposed to find him. Like Ilawatizo had said, the Jedi had found the Kid and I for a reason—

{TWO HOURS LATER}

"I'm going to strangle this kid."

"I'm going to choke him until he begs me to learn the Dark Side and even then I'll choke him some more."

"He's going to wish he never left whatever slave trade establishment he came from."

"Where the KRIFF is this little—"

I turned a corner and stopped, having to double back because I reached the funeral procession, again, that was currently taking place. My threats had been said beneath my breath just in case people were around, or if Kad was.

I didn't want to scare him off before I could implement any of them.

As I returned back to the rotunda that took up most of the space in a clearing I saw that some bridges led into it and a little moat circled the thing. I had passed it at first and gave it a cursory glance but I figured it wouldn't hurt to check again before I found another path to take. As I approached the closest bridge to me I heard the faint sound of splashing and hyperventaling coming from under the bridge. It piqued my interest and I figured it was only coming from one person so I took a look.

It so happened to not be the kid I was looking for but some random human boy that was sitting on a ledge right at the edge of the water. He heard me squat down to look at him and looked up.

For a moment we both looked at each other and I could see he was clearly crying.

"What's up? Have you seen a—"

"AAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!"

He didn't even give me a chance to say more because he suddenly scrambled away from me(even though I was about 4 feet above his head) and fell into the water. The current wasn't strong and the water wasn't deep at all but with how small the kid was he was taken by the water. Although, kind of slowly.

"Sorry, uh, don't worry about me! I can swim! Sorry!"

I watched as the kid slowly disappeared around the bend of the rotunda and just blinked my eyes from the absurdity of it all. I stood back up and turned around like nothing happened.

And that's when I saw the kid I was actually looking for. I'm going to wring his neck.

"Hey!"

The kid froze where he stood. He finally saw me and still didn't move, almost like his mind told him he could become invisible to me if he stood very still.

"I've been looking for you, for two hours now you kriffing Hutt-spawn!! Where the hell have you been!?" I stormed over to the kid which shattered his confidence in standing still. He started to turn around looked like he was about to bolt but realized he was in an open space with the nearest path being a good 30 meters or so away, I reached him before he could even take 3 three steps. The real panic and fear could be felt in the Force now and I basked in it. Oh this kid was going to make me addicted to making him feel real fear.

As I reached him I slowed and walked around him and I saw his eyes follow me when I came into view. It was the only part of his body that he could move. He was visibly struggling against his Fight or Flight instincts but came to the conclusion that since I was already there he wouldn't be able to escape without help.

"You have been pissing me off chasing you all because the Captain told me I should Kad. I thought I would find you faster but for some reason it took me two hours and now I'm mad boy. I have half a mind to—"

I stopped my tirade even though I was barely into the pent up frustration that I felt. I recoiled in shock when I really looked at the kids face to see him crying, literally crying like he was about to be—

I took two steps away from him and the Kid dropped to floor but didn't move. His tears flowed freely now and sobs wracked his body as he curled into a ball. I didn't move and just listened to him go on like that for some time. I waited until he had finally quieted down.

"Let me see your back kid."

I didn't know it was possible but even more fear poured from him and he started to vigorously shake his head.

"I'm not going to do anything to you I just, want to see it. I swear."

He still shook his head and the waterworks started up again.

"Look either you pull up your shirt and let me see your back or I'll make you do it. Your choice Kad," I brought the steel voice back which brokered no argument. I've heard it enough to know how to emulate it, even if I had almost no experience doing it.

Apparently the kid has heard it enough times as well because with only a slight hesitation he did as I said. He was still sobbing and now hiccuping but he still turned and slowly pulled his shirt up over his head. The weird thing was though, he stayed kneeling down and hunched over.

His back was covered with lash marks.

I don't mean to oversell this when I say his whole back was almost completely covered with lash marks. Most of them were very old and had not healed properly, only a few were relatively fresh considering he had been traveling around with the Jedi for a few months to bring me back to Coruscant. He was waiting for me to whip him I realized, which is why he stayed in the position hunched over on the ground.

"You weren't just a labor slave were you?" I whispered my question out to him and he vigorously shook his head, probably afraid that if he didn't answer my questions right away he would be punished.

I almost threw up at the realization of it all. He was a torture slave too. Pain was inflicted upon him at the enjoyment of his old master whenever the fancy hit.

I collapsed on the ground next him which made him jump in fear. But when he saw that I was sitting and not preparing to mark his back again he was visibly confused.

"You....you aren't going to whip me?"

"No Kad I'm...I'm not going to whip you. Just, put your shirt back down and sit normally for a second."

I didn't look at him, ashamed of what I had done and how I liked it. He didn't notice this though and was just happy that I wasn't going to punish him. He did as he was told and sat next to me not saying a word.

We stayed like that for a while and just listened to the stillness of the rotunda and the distant hum of the funeral procession. It had long passed our spot but we could faintly hear the people of Naboo going through their customs for one of their most beloved leaders.

"What's your first memory Kad?" My voice startled him since we had sat in silence for some time. He took a few moments to get over the surprise and then to think back properly.

"It's kind of hard to tell. I have two that I consider to be my first but the one I don't even know if it's real."

"Just tell me them then. I don't care if it's real or not," I still hadn't looked at him but I saw him glance at me quickly out of the corner of my eye. He probably didn't know what I was getting at but he answered my questioned.

"The first one is pain. I was told by one of the older boys that I had dropped the drying towel of our Master after he got finished with his bath before I could give it to him. He was so furious that he told the others to chain me up and whipped me right there. I didn't remember that but I remember how his face morphed into complete furry then the pain of him whipping me, and how he kept whipping until he said I had learned my lesson. He didn't care that he was completely naked or that it had been an accident because I was so young. To him it was 'Break them first, then break them again. They'll learn or you break in a new one.'"

"And the other one?"

With some hesitation again he continued, "It's soft hands on my face. Long hair tickling my cheeks as whoever it belong to leaned over me and kissed my forehead. There's some kind of lullaby they're humming or someone else is humming, I'm not really sure. But there's warmth, and sunlight, and happiness radiating everywhere."

The kid looked up into the sky and fell silent. I let him relive that happy memory or dream for a few moments. It was something he needed.

"I'm sorry, Kad."

His head turned to look back at me, obviously confused.

"Sorry for what?"

"For forgetting other people could have it as worse as I did."

I then turned away from him and lifted up my shirt. I heard him gasp a little bit at seeing my back which was also covered in whip marks. Not nearly as bad as his was but it definitely wasn't one or two.

"I had said that my, 'Master', was lacking in some areas of our training. Well he was lacking in some areas of being a decent living being as well. Our training consisted of me doing as he said and if I didn't do it or I did it slowly he'd make sure I'd remember it forever. Along with threatening my Mother he'd carve my failed lessons into my back and not care if I still couldn't perform. The only reason mine looks better than yours is because my Mother was a battlefield medic during the Clone Wars. She saved a lot of lives before she retired and was able to keep me in one piece for the duration of my training."

"I'll stop with the mean streak I've been giving you. It was negligent of me to give you emotional and mental abuse like that, and yeah I didn't know the circumstances of your life before now but I should have been cognizant that other people had lives worse or just like mine."

"Thanks, that's helps a lot. Also, if you could stop calling me Kad would be great. That's the name my— Master Gany'sha gave to me. It's not really something I want."

"Alright, that's fair. But I'm going to call you Kid then because you haven't earned the respect to use your name yet."

"Oh and that's fair," the Kid rolled his eyes in good nature at me. It actually brought the ghost of a smile to my lips.

"So you actually want to be a Jedi, Kid? Don't you want to see what the Dark Side can do after witnessing my stuff?"

"Oh you mean the Dark Side that let Master Shaddoc kick your butt in two seconds?" His comeback appeared at record speeds and even made my eyebrows shoot into my hairline.

"Oh! You think you have a backbone now do you!? Just wait until you train with me and we'll see how long that stays around," I let off a sharp laugh but silenced it quickly when a loud chime sounded out around us. It felt like the noise went across the whole planet.

After it finished a few minutes later the Kid spoke up, "What do you mean train with me? You're not going to be a Jedi," he side eyed me with confusion.

"No I'm not, but I probably know just as much about the Force as you do so I would think Master Wamo would train us together or one at a time to get a feel for us. We might spar every now and then to get a feel for different fighting styles and see what works. Don't worry, I won't be sadistic when we do."

His eyebrows furrowed in obvious confusion. "If you know about as much about the Force as I do then how could you do those things before? Pick me up and move objects?"

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