5 Chapter title of fun?

Why o why do I have such bad luck!? Thomas said to the sky. It's because I don't like you! Someone said from up there. What? Was that god? God help me! U have really bad luck and my life sucks! He said to the sky. No! I lost a card game to your father so I cursed there first born with the worst luck ever! I got the last laugh! Thomas looked to the sky and thought, God sure is a sore loser. A lighting strick almost hit him and it burned his hair a crispy black. I can hear your thoughts you know! I'm God you stupid! And just for that your bad luck was at 60 percent because I felt a little bad for you but since you want to say stuff about me I am putting it up to 70 percent! Good luck! Loser!

When he was walking home he was robbed SIX TIMES! Like how does that even happen but then Thomas remembered what happened with God and thought O bother!