11 "But we were careful"

Now it all came to her, the niggle in the back of her mind when he'd said his name. Matt. Four months after she walked out of her marriage and Stuart's company, news about her ex's plane going down had filtered back to Lee.

She had recognised the pilot's name, Bill Norton. But the names of the passengers had been unfamiliar.... Forgotten.

Yes, she'd sympathised from afar but by then, Stuart Hersham was already someone else's husband--and an almost daddy. Because of the latter, because of the way she'd discovered Stuart's betrayal, Lee had put the past, including the crash, wholly out of her mind.

Now she remembered snippets. A woman and child---with Rogan's last name.

His family.

"Look," he said, unaware her heart struggled like a wounded animal. "Can we start over?" this time his gaze was soft and gray as the morning mist.

With a nod, Lee forced her throat to open. "Sure." For two elongated seconds their eyes held, and her heart emitted a solid thump against her breastbone. (Start something with this man? No and no).

Quickly turning her concentration on navigating her seaplane---previously of Stuart's Fleet, oh, God--she forwarded her status to the tower and began reducing her elevation.

Minutes later, she taxied shore ward to her portion of plier extending from Burnt Bend's boardwalk. She couldn't wait to leave again, make the run to pick up Skip. Anything to get away from Rogan and the pain she now knew hovered behinds his eyes.

While she tied the plane to the wooden deck, he stood facing the shoreline meandering westward. A forest of hemlock, cedars and willows traveled the land's slope to the water, but Lee knew what lay on the other side of the natural buffer a mile from town. The Riley property, now his land.

He slanted a look over his shoulder towards the boardwalk's shops and restaurants. "I hope to buy some office space there."

A lawyer in Burnt Bend? Except... What had he said before takeoff? (I don't plan to do this for long). "Are you changing careers?" she asked.

Again he viewed the trees hiding his future address. "In a way."

A crooked smile that displayed one front tooth edging a millimetre bellow its twin, stalled her breath.(the man didn't know his own potency). She had to avoid him. At all costs. Her past meshed too closely with his.

"Same time next week?" he asked.

Make a decision, Lee. Her mouth refused to open. Grateful she had not removed her aviators---she was certain he'd be able to read her misgivings---she nodded once. "Right."

With a clip of his head, he started for his blue truck, parked in the gravelled lot nearby. Not until his dark-suited form disappeared from sight did she grab the wingtip of her plane to support her shaky legs.

Half his family had died in a tragedy that might have been averted had she not been so focused on saving her splintering marriage.

-------------

Two days later, Lee lay on an examination table in a Seattle medical clinic, still worrying over her link to Rogan Matt, a link of which he was unaware, but that she understood clearly.

Why hadn't she followed her gut instincts three years ago? Why had she trusted her ex to inform the authorities. Why, why, why?

Her worry knotted her throat and propelled her nausea---until she was forced to seek out her friend Dr. Lily Ramirez. Just to talk, Lee told herself. Lily would know what to do. Because a hundred years ago, she'd been Lee and Oliver's classmate and, later, as an ob-gyn, Lily had seen Lee through a horde of fertility tests during Lee's years of marriage to Stuart.

Staring at the ceiling, Lee shivered at a thought. Was it worry causing her the nausea or was it something else? Once, years ago, she had experienced similar symptoms; periodic queasiness after the evening meal, a craving for raspberry jam and the distaste of her beloved morning coffee.

She couldn't be pregnant. It had to be the stress of the past two days.

But the longer she waited for Lily to arrive, the more Lee questioned the possibility. The first sigh of nausea had begun two weeks before Rogan's disclosure.

The door opened and Lily entered. "Hey, friend." The doctor's lips curved in a genuine smile.

"Lily," Lee greeted her, relieved. "Am glad to see you."

The doctor scanned the nurse's information on the file she held. "You've been nauseous for a couple of weeks?"

"I might be in trouble---big trouble."

"okay, don't panic." Lily took Lee's hand. "Tell me." Lee did. She explained the wooziness and her worries.

"First," Lily said after quieted, "let's see if you're pregnant. Then we'll talk."

Several minutes later, the internal exam completed, the doctor removed her gloves. "Your uterus is slightly swollen, but we'll do a blood and urine test to verify."Tossing the soiled toweling into the trash, she asked, "Do you have an idea of when you might have gotten pregnant?"

"February. The night before Oliver Demon shipped out, a little over eight weeks ago." (for the last time). The paper pillow rustled as she turned her head. "But we were careful."

"Doesn't matter how careful you're," Lily replied gently, washing her hands in the sink. "Accidents happen, Lee. I'll get the nurse in for the test, then we'll talk." she left the room, the door whooshing closed behind her.

Lee stared at the counter with its sink and shelves and medical supplies, at the stirrups protruding from the end of the table. Could things get any worse?

And dare she hope? Dare she hope for a baby after all the barren years?

Ten minutes later, dressed again, she sat on the exam bed and observed Lily jot notes on her clipboard.

"Well?" Lee asked, her heart pounding.

"You're pregnant."