3 Bittersweet <3>

For the next few days, I searched around the village, asking if anyone has seen a girl like her around.

Nothing.

It was like she didn't even exist.

Back then, I considered telling Miyabi, my childhood friend, and looking back on it, I probably should have… but I wanted to keep this to myself, just in case…

Just in case she really killed someone.

By the 4th day, I found something. The grocery shop clerk told me she came a few hours prior to purchase food. At least that meant she existed. There was the matter of where she existed left.

I realized that there was still one place I haven't searched yet. The forest.

I was scared of going there, afraid of what would be waiting for me in the meadow. What if the body was still there? What would I do? Collapse again?

Many thoughts ran through my head at the time.

Would she want a man like that?

Would she want a man like me at all?

On the 5th day, I decided to get it together and set out towards the forest early in the morning, this time telling the Matron where I was going. Looking back on this decision… it was really stupid.

Armed with a small penknife, a bag of food and a change of clothes, I set out on my small little journey - just a few kilometers away, and yet, this one journey… it felt like my whole life depended on it.

Just in case, I dressed well, putting on a crisp white shirt and jeans. The sun was gently covered with white fluff, with no signs of bad weather.

I stopped for a bit before arriving at the meadow, attempting to stop my hands from shaking. On top of what happened there, the nightmares…

What if she's really waiting there for me, covered in blood? I thought, shivering.

The canopy blocked out most of the sunlight, creating strange patterns on the uneven gravel road, like a kaleidoscope. Upon closer inspection, I noticed shoe marks in the gravel path - slightly smaller than mine. Full of hope and fear, I picked up the pace, before arriving at the gates of the previously drowned meadow. Even in the sunlight, it sent chills down my spine. I couldn't get images of what happened before out of my head. Despite that, the contrast of white and red roses left me speechless. It all looked so gray and dull the last time I was there.

In just a few days, the meadow changed this much? Or perhaps it was always like this and I just didn't notice the last time, I thought.

In the middle of the meadow, there was nothing. She wasn't waiting for me there like I feared… or, hoped, she would.

Ahh, of course she isn't waiting there for you, fool. Dreams don't come true, I thought.

I walked out into the meadow, the ground squelching beneath my feet a bit. I had no idea why it was still wet after almost a week, but I kept going, arriving in the middle of the meadow, at this point surrounded fully by trees on all sides, with the exception of the natural gate.

An almost perfect circle.

I decided to slowly walk around the edge of the meadow. My reasoning was that, if she arrived here, she could've gone into the forest… and if so, there should be a small path somewhere, albeit inconspicuous from farther away.

I was right.

After an hour of searching, I noticed a small opening in the wall of oaks, a small trail that led deeper into the forest. I manned up and pushed through the branches, slowly making my way along.

Looking back, this was either the best or worst decision in my life. You can decide that for yourself.