CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO - Reunited but Not Really

Attuoria arrived at King's Cross with the Malfoys at ten in the morning. The train was to leave at eleven. Draco was silent the entire journey to King's Cross, and remained dead silent even as his parents bid them goodbye. The only word he said was "bye" right before he climbed onto the train.

"You're extremely quiet around your parents." Attuoria observed. The two sat down in an empty compartment, their trunks stowed away on the top shelves.

Draco ignored her comment. "I'll be in the prefect carriage for the first part of the ride. My friends are probably going to come in and sit here."

"You have friends? Who?"

He glared at her. She stared back at him innocently. He sighed.

"Crabbe, Goyle, Zabini, Parkinson."

"Oh the Slytherins." Attuoria replied instinctively, recalling each of the names from her memory.

"Parkinson is a prefect too, so you're with the other three."

Attuoria frowned. Thick Crabbe, dense Goyle, and quiet Zabini. She'd much rather go find Harry, Ron and Hermione. Now that she thought of it, it has been three years since she saw them. They didn't forget her, did they?

Attuoria stood up. "No thanks," she said, reaching up and trying to yank her heavy trunk off the rack.

"What are you doing?" Draco stood up, pressing a hand onto the luggage to stop her from pulling it off.

"I just remembered I have friends, too." said Attuoria, tugging on her trunk again.

Draco let out a scowl. "Potter and his gang."

"Yes, Potter and his gang. They're better than your friends."

His eyes narrowed and his voice came down to a whisper. "Didn't the Dark Lord set you any tasks against Potter?"

Attuoria shrugged. "My main job was to win over the dementors. With Harry, he just said to get acquainted. Since he didn't specify anything, I'm going to do whatever I want. Now can you let go of my trunk?"

Draco glanced at the space between them, which wasn't much.

They were so preoccupied that they didn't even realise the train was bustling with a lot more noise and movement. Their compartment door slid open and in walked all four of Draco's said friends.

"Draco, I thought we were meeting at - Who's that?" The mousy-haired girl in front said in a sharp voice. Crabbe and Goyle, who stood behind her, froze at the sight of Attuoria.

"I'm Attuoria, nice to meet you." Attuoria said politely, giving her a nod.

The girl narrowed her eyes. "So you're the homeless girl that everyone was talking about. The one that ran away near the end of our first year. Look at you now, trying to flatter Draco for his money? If you're hungry, there's food in the trash."

Attuoria's expression remained blank, but in her mind she was absolutely astonished at this girl's attitude. Some people are just looking for a beating.

But before Attuoria could say anything, Draco stepped in. But not in the way she expected.

"Enough, Pansy. Let's go to the prefect carriage." He moved away from Attuoria towards the girl.

Attuoria felt a small flare of a certain emotion surge through her. She couldn't pinpoint what it was, but it was there. She was reminded of the many times Harry, Ron and Hermione stood up for her when Draco or someone else said a mean comment. The way they stood up for Neville. Even the way they stood up for Quirrell, when he was clearly the one and fault.

While Draco, despite her having been nothing but nice to him for the past few days, let such a mean insult slide without even sparing Attuoria a glance.

"You're a terrible friend," said Attuoria as he was about to leave the compartment.

"Since when were we friends?" He responded quietly, turning his head only slightly.

"I don't know. But we aren't now." Attuoria aggressively jerked her trunk off the rack just as the train started to move. Her luggage dropped to the floor with a loud thud. She shoved past Draco and Pansy, ignoring the other three boys who had been silent the whole time, and trudged down the train.

Only after she passed three compartments did she suddenly realise what emotion that was.

Anger.

"Nothing good ever comes out of being around Malfoy," she muttered to herself as she dragged her trunk behind her. She peeked into yet another compartment, and to her surprise, spotted the Weasley twins with the other Gryffindor students in their year.

She hesitated, unsure if she wanted to open the door and say hi or just leave.

But within that short second of thought, the entire compartment had stopped talking and were all staring at the window of their compartment door. They were staring at her.

Immediately the door flung open and the Weasley twins literally jumped on her.

"Attuoria!" They yelled, the three of them stumbling backwards and hitting the wall. "It's been three years!"

"It has." Attuoria said quietly in their embrace, trying to recall her memories with them. She remembered each of the scenes vividly, but couldn't remember how she felt. She knew she was always happy and excited to be around them, but she forgot how to feel the happiness and excitement.

The twins seemed to notice that something was off.

"Are you okay?" George asked, concerned. "Was everything okay back in Romania?"

Attuoria wasn't sure how to answer him. She didn't want to keep lying with her Romanian backstory anymore. The Dark Lord knew she was a nightmare demon, the Death Eaters knew she was a nightmare demon, and so did Draco. Clearly the Wizarding World was accustomed to being around unorthodox beings.

So she decided to go with the most vague answer she could give.

"It's a long story."

"Then tell us!" said Fred cheerfully, pulling her towards their compartment. "Come, sit with us."

She glanced at the seats on both sides. The compartment was completely full. Apart from Fred and George's empty seats, the rest were occupied by Lee Jordan, Angelina Johnson, Alicia Spinnet and Katie Bell.

"Your compartment is full." Attuoria pointed out, gently tugging her arm out of Fred's grasp. "Don't worry about it, we can catch up once we get to school."

Fred and George looked slightly disappointed but didn't push any further.

She continued down the train with her trunk behind her, glancing at each compartment. They were all full, and she couldn't find her friends anywhere.

At last, she got to the very end of the train. Her arms were sore and she figured she'd just sit at the last compartment even if she didn't know the people inside.

She slid the door open and to her surprise, saw Harry, Ron, Hermione, Neville, Luna and Ginny. All of them were laughing really hard, but they stopped when they saw her.

"Attuoria!?" Harry, Ron, Hermione and Neville gasped simultaneously, their mouths dropping open.

"Uh, hi," said Attuoria, realising that even though these people were still the same people, all of them have changed. It's been three years. Even she changed: She lost all her social and emotional abilities since the last time she saw them.

Hermione stood up. "Attuoria! It's so good to see -"

With a hard pull from Harry, she sat back down on her seat.

"Where were you for the past three years?" Harry demanded, glaring at her.

She sure hadn't expected that.

"It's difficult to explain." Attuoria said truthfully, reminding herself that the Dark Lord told her not to tell anyone of their alliance. She did want to tell Harry and the rest of them her true identity as a Nightmare Demon, but that was even harder to explain.

"Oh, clearly it's difficult to explain. You left without telling us a thing. You disappeared right when we needed your help most. Do you even know who we saw when we went down for the Philosopher's Stone?" Harry said, getting angrier by the moment. "Voldemort. It was Voldemort. You were right, Quirrell was the one helping him get the stone. Voldemort was sharing his body. And what's worse, Voldemort is back now. He's alive again. He killed a student at Hogwarts. And us? We've been living so cautiously, in fear that Voldemort will attack any second."

Ron gently nudged Harry. "Why are you telling her this? She won't get it."

Harry ignored him. "While you, you disappeared just as our lives were in danger, and now you're back as if nothing ever happened? Do you even understand what we went through? No, you don't, because you weren't there. So thanks for being such a great friend and leaving us when WE NEEDED YOU."

Attuoria stood at the door, staring at him blankly.

"Harry, I'm sure she has her reasons -"

"Well then she could've at least told us beforehand! But clearly she doesn't care about us enough to even do such a simple thing!" Harry yelled, turning back to Attuoria again. "Were we even your friends?"

Just then, footsteps came down the hall. Attuoria turned to find Draco and his two cronies heading towards her direction. Her gaze met with his but he quickly averted his eyes and stomped over to Harry's compartment.

Harry, upon sighting his enemy, aggressively snapped, "Well?"

"Manners, Potter, or I'll have to give you detention." Draco said with smugness and confidence that Attuoria hadn't seen from him in the past two months.

Seeing that Draco was there to annoy Harry, Attuoria picked her trunk back up. She elbowed Crabbe and Goyle out of her way, and proceeded to head back up the train.

"Knight!" Draco called out. She ignored him. "Where are you going?" he called again, but she still didn't respond. Attuoria heaved her luggage all the way back to Fred and George's compartment, which was still filled with laughter.

She knocked on the door and was welcomed in warmly by the twins and everyone else. They all still remembered her, pointing out that she was the only first-year student to have joined third-year charms and potions class.

Although she was squished in between Fred and George the entire ride, it was a hundred times more comfortable than being around Draco's friends, or being shouted at by Harry. If Attuoria could still remember what it felt like being friends with Harry, Ron and Hermione, she would probably be experiencing certain negative emotions now that the three weren't accepting her as a friend anymore.

But fortunately and unfortunately for her, there were no feelings associated between her and the trio. Harry's outburst was only a reminder of old memories, and a fill-in of the current state of the Wizarding World.

If they didn't want to be friends with her, she wasn't going to try. She came back down to the mortal realm not to make friends, but to help Voldemort, the most powerful wizard alive. Although some part of her yearned to relive the memories that she made as a first-year student at Hogwarts, she knew matters were serious now. Harry and Voldemort were on two sides of a brewing war, and not being friends with Harry was only going to make her task easier. She would be less distracted by the concept of friendship, less likely to go off on a tangent where she seeks human experiences.

And plus, in that moment, the Weasley twins were much more fun to be with than Harry, Ron and Hermione.

***

It felt both familiar and foreign, dining in the Great Hall with the entire school all in one area. Attuoria had forgotten how good food was, especially now that she could taste again.

She sat with the twins and their friends. From down the table, she occasionally caught Harry, Ron or Hermione sneaking a glance at her, but she ignored it.

Back at the dorm, the twins wanted to stay in the common room to listen to her "long story" of what happened the last three years, but Attuoria could tell they were too sleepy to even understand what she was saying. So she ushered them up to their dorm before heading back to her own.

As she entered the dorm, Parvati and Lavender looked shocked but happily welcomed her back.

"How was Romania?" Parvati asked.

"Not too bad," Attuoria said, giving her a quick smile. Lavender smiled at her, too, and she heard a bit of her thoughts: "Oh great, she's back. All the boys are gonna go after her, now."

Alarmed by what she heard, Attuoria nodded politely and quickly rushed over to her four-poster bed. Go after me? Attuoria thought to herself, taking random items out of her trunk. I didn't do anything wrong. Why would they want to 'go after me'?

Hermione sat on her own bed next to Attuoria's, sorting out some books. "Hey, um, Attuoria,"

"Yes?" Attuoria looked up from her trunk. She could sense an apology coming.

"Look, I'm really sorry-"

"No, it's okay," Attuoria interrupted. "I was the one that left. I didn't give you guys any explanation. It was my fault. Now I know friendships require effort to be maintained, but I guess it's too late. I'm sorry I hurt you."

Hermione's uptight expression melted into a sympathetic smile.

"It's not too late, Attuoria. The boys overreacted. You were my friend and you'll always be my friend. I missed you a lot the past three years. Can you imagine me studying with the two of them? They're an absolute pain!"

Attuoria hummed in response, recalling their studying memories in her head. Harry and Ron were both so disruptive and easily distracted. Hermione must've had such a hard time.

"I want to know what happened in your life the past three years. None of us knew how to get to you. Even your bird wouldn't leave Hagrid's hut."

Eylense. Her eagle. He still existed. Attuoria suddenly realised how much she left behind in the mortal realm. But it was okay now, because she was back.

"Okay, I'll tell you." Attuoria let her trunk fall shut and sat down next to Hermione on her bed. "But you also need to tell me what happened to you three while I was gone."

That night, Attuoria told Hermione her real identity: That she was a nightmare demon who discovered a way to enter the mortal realm. She left out all the details about her contact with Voldemort, and instead said she left abruptly last time because she had to reset her twenty-year "timer". She even told her that she was staying with the Malfoys. Hermione was more than shocked, but Attuoria explained that when she landed back in the mortal realm, she appeared in front of their home. So they took her in upon knowing her identity as a nightmare demon from the spiritual realm.

"Sounds just like the Malfoys. They probably think you have superpowers that'll make them more successful." Hermione gasped at a sudden revelation. "That's why you can read minds! You're some weird spiritual demon!"

"When they say you're smart, they weren't lying," said Attuoria, glad that her friend caught on so quickly.

"And you're saying you don't have emotions. That your thought process is different from humans."

Attuoria nodded.

"That explains why you looked so dead inside during our first year. Not to mention when I saw you yesterday on the train."

"Did you just say I looked 'dead inside'?"

"Yeah."

"But if I'm dead inside then I'm dead outside too."

"It's just a figure of speech," Hermione laughed. "Dead inside means you're emotionally numb. I'm just saying you never seemed to express any of your feelings. But now I know why, it's because you didn't have any feelings."

"Kind of sad, isn't it?" said Attuoria.

"You wouldn't know. Do you even know what sadness feels like?"

"Oh shut up."

Hermione laughed again, seemingly proud of her own joke.

"You sound like Ron." Attuoria noticed. That joke was completely in line with something he would say.

"No I don't!" Hermione immediately denied, looking slightly flustered. "What do you mean I sound like Ron? How could I possibly sound like him? We are on two different levels of intellect."

"I don't know how, but I know intelligence has nothing to do with it."

"What, are you saying I could sound like Pansy Parkinson?" Hermione started to laugh again before she suddenly stopped. "Oh sorry, do you know who Pansy Parkinson is?"

"I do, actually," said Attuoria. "You know what she said to me today?"

The two started gossiping, something Attuoria didn't know she was capable of doing. It was a good feeling to vent out the events that had happened to her that day. The things that had frustrated or surprised her. How Pansy insulted her for no reason, how Draco was so unbelievably two-faced, and how she walked away from Harry because she didn't know how to deal with his anger. Hermione seemed to understand Attuoria's troubles when it came to acting like a human, especially the social aspects.

"Enough about me," said Attuoria. "If the boys talk to me tomorrow, I'll have to explain this again. What about you? I'm sure you guys had plenty of adventures."

Hermione visibly grew excited as she told Attuoria about all the things they did the past three years. How they defeated Quirrell and got the Philosopher's stone in year one; How in year two, Hermione got petrified by this giant snake creature called the basilisk, and then Harry killed it in an underground chamber that can only be accessed through a girl's bathroom; How in year three, a mass murderer broke out of Azkaban but he turned out to be innocent and was actually Harry's godfather, so they saved him and spent the past summer at his house (she also said that their Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher was a really nice werewolf); How in year four, there was this huge event called the Triwizard Tournament where one student from each school (there were three magic schools) competed against one another in multiple magical trials, and Harry somehow got entered into the competition alongside with a boy from Hufflepuff, who was killed during the last trial where Harry witnessed Voldemort's rebirth.

By the time Hermione was done talking, a small sliver of sunlight was already starting to peek out from the horizon outside the window. Attuoria was still wide awake, but she could tell Hermione was getting very drowsy.

"You guys are unbelievable," said Attuoria, glancing warily at Hermione's drooping eyes. "And you should really go to sleep."

Hermione yawned. "Yeah, you should too. Well, even though you don't need sleep."

Attuoria climbed off of Hermione's bed and got onto her own.

"Hopefully the boys will talk to me tomorrow."

"They will," Hermione reassured, rolling over in her blanket. Within minutes, she was asleep.

Attuoria lay awake on her bed. She thought of Voldemort's orders. "Get acquainted" was what he told her to do. Getting acquainted could mean a lot of things. Harry and Draco were acquainted, but were constantly taking a go at each other. She thought that with Harry ignoring her, she was going to have to resort to that kind of interaction with him. But with the help of Hermione now, she might get her friendship back.

She smiled to herself at the thought. She didn't want to harass Harry like Draco always did, nor did she want to be ignored. Being friends with Harry was a much better option.

Attuoria sighed. She couldn't remember much about the feeling of friendship, and she didn't know how to express her feelings either (if she had any), but deep down, she knew she cared about Harry, Ron and Hermione.

And that was the first sign of the inner troubles she was going to face.