Juvenile Mind

Year 847

Mikasa's POV

Days passed, and our training began in earnest, but no matter how grueling the drills were, the hardest thing for me was Eren's cold distance. His words still echoed painfully in my mind, but my heart—my stubborn, unyielding heart—belonged to him, and only him.

Every day, I found myself watching him, hoping, yearning for some sign that he remembered. But it was always the same—he avoided me. Every single time I tried to sit beside him during supper, he'd get up without a word and move somewhere else, leaving me behind in a silence that cut deeper than any rejection.

And then, there was her—the blonde girl who seemed to have taken my place. She was always at his side, her smile radiant and carefree, a smile that I grew to hate with every passing day. It wasn't just jealousy; it was the pain of being replaced, of seeing her occupy a space in his life that used to be mine.

I'll never forget that day during our aptitude training. The session was designed to test our coordination with the omnidirectional mobility gear, a crucial skill for surviving in battle. And it was here that Keith Shadis's hatred for Eren revealed itself.

He deliberately tampered with Eren's gear, breaking the clasp of his belt. Without a functioning clasp, the maneuvering would be near impossible—yet Eren, against all odds, managed to balance himself in mid-air.

His eyes, sharp and furious, locked onto Keith as he spoke with a chilling calmness, "Nice try sending me off to the fields, Shadis. But my fate will be determined by me alone... understand?"

The weight of his words hung in the air, and for a moment, it felt like time itself had stopped as for once I saw fear in Commander's piercing eyes.

Keith's act didn't go unnoticed; higher-ups saw it all with their eyes, and though they said nothing, everyone knew his days were numbered.

Both Armin and I passed the test easily. But that blonde girl—Christa, always clinging to Eren, always in my way—she failed. She lost her balance and nearly fell headfirst before Eren caught her, swiftly and effortlessly.

"Eren... Eren... I'm sorry... I'm such a failure..." she whispered, her voice full of false humility. My blood boiled as a dark, deadly aura of jealousy overtook me. I clenched my fists, my body trembling with rage.

"I'll kill that bitch," I thought, the words seething within me as I watched them. The sight of them together, her pathetic sobbing and Eren's calm yet somewhat attentive gaze—it was unbearable. The longer I watched, the more I could feel the bitterness gnawing at my soul.

Eren stayed with her right there until midnight, patiently teaching her, correcting her form, while I stood like a shadow in the distance, watching them through a veil of tears. I was a ghost—unseen, unwanted. Eren knew I was there, I was sure of it, but he never acknowledged me. His focus was entirely on her.

Another girl Ymir stood nearby as well, watching with her own brewing hatred. Every time Eren touched Christa, correcting her stance or straightening her posture, Ymir's eyes darkened with resentment.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Christa managed to balance herself correctly. I couldn't believe it. I was sure she had been faking her incompetence just to spend more time with Eren. She passed the test the next day, while those who failed were sent to the fields to toil.

The real test began soon after—our first true maneuvering drills in the forest. Eren, unsurprisingly, excelled in the very first session. He moved with such speed and precision that he became a blur in the trees.

Effortlessly soaring through the branches while the rest of us struggled to keep up. By the end of the exercise, he was the only one left with more than enough gas in his tanks.

I should've been proud of him. I should've been glad. But all I could feel was a growing emptiness as I realized that no matter how much I tried, I was no longer a part of his world. But no matter what he'll always be part of mine.

Year 848

Months dragged by, and despite countless attempts, I never managed to speak with Eren. Not even once. Every time I tried, he'd avoid me—his coldness a constant reminder of the distance that now lay between us.

It hurt, but eventually, after witnessing Armin, I realized that my approach had been all wrong. I had been acting like an idiot—chasing after him, persisting like a shadow, when he didn't even remember me.

Of course, anyone in his position would react the same way, and it broke my heart to acknowledge it.

But Armin—ever the intelligent one—was different. Slowly, he managed to strike up conversations with Eren. It was subtle at first, just small talk during training, but over time they grew closer.

I could see the change, the way Armin patiently worked his way into Eren's trust, hoping to learn more about him. That's when I began to see my own blunders clearly.

Instead of giving Eren space to rediscover who he was, I had smothered him with my desperation.

One evening, after the usual ODM drills, Armin and I sat together at the mess hall. The smell of stew and stale bread hung in the air as the murmur of cadets filled the space around us. Armin seemed unusually quiet, deep in thought. Finally, he leaned in and spoke words that shattered me.

"Mikasa," he began, his voice serious, "We both are well aware that Eren lost his memories after the fall, right?"

I nodded, though my chest tightened. I was already painfully aware of that fact and we've talked about this countless times before but why bring it up again?

Armin continued, "Well, I managed to get him to talk a little more about his past—where he lived. And... it's worse than we thought."

Armin continued his talk as all the information started to seep in," Eren told me he's the adopted heir of the Lenz family from the capital. His real father was executed for treason after steeling from the royal treasure, and his mother abandoned him to be with another man."

My eyes widened in disbelief how was that even possible.

"But it doesn't end there. In the Year 846 The Lenz family—his foster parents—were accused of conspiring against the king. They were executed, Eren and Christa were exiled, banned from ever returning to the capital."

My heart sank. I stared at Armin, disbelief flooding my mind. "It doesn't make any sense, Armin. Mom would never abandon Eren and Dad would never steal he earned through blood and sweat."

Unexpectedly Armin sighed, his gaze fixed at me making me realize how much of an idiot I became. "Duh...Of course Mr and Mrs Yeagers didn't do anything like that."

I threw my head on table feeling embarrassed but suddenly Armin's voice grew serious," Mikasa. It's obviously false information. Eren was brainwashed with this very information. Thus for him neither Mikasa nor Armin ever existed in his life. Same goes for his real parents."

Rage flared in my chest, hot and overwhelming. "Who would dare to do something like that to him?" I slammed my fist onto the mess table, my voice shaking with fury.

Armin gave me a look of exasperation. "I didn't say he was definitely brainwashed, Mikasa. It's just a theory. You tend to lose all sense of reason when it comes to Eren."

He sighed, rubbing his temple. "Anyway, Eren isn't lying about getting adopted by Lenz family. I checked his records. Everything he said matches the information on his cadet form. He's telling the truth—at least, as he knows it."

I felt the weight of his words settle heavily on me. My mind spun, trying to make sense of it all. Eren… living through such betrayal and abandonment? How could that be?

Armin's sharp mind continued to analyze. "Here's what I think happened: All Hannes observed was Eren getting crumbled under the demolished house and that's all we knew up until now but what I think is, Eren somehow survived—but his bodily injuries must have caused him to lose his memories."

"But how did he end up getting with the nobles..." I burst out my eyes wide opened, teeth clenched.

"Shhh.... Let me finsih first." He paused, his brow furrowing as he connected the dots. "Remember how nobles and royals visited the refugee camps after the Fall? It's possible that during one of those visits, Eren was adopted by the Lenz family and taken to the capital before we could ever reach him."

The pieces began to fall into place. The timeline, the loss of memories, the twisted history Eren had been fed—it all made a kind of tragic sense.

My hands clenched tightly in my lap as a new wave of sorrow washed over me. Eren had been living a life built on lies, manipulated by forces beyond our control.

And now, he was slipping further away from me, from us.

Right now, I was holding back a dam of tears, keeping them hidden behind my deadened gaze. But Armin's voice cut through the fog, offering a glimmer of hope. "Then why don't we start again.... You, me and Eren. All we need to do is help him remember who we are...."

My eyes narrowed where he was getting at with this but before I could say another word he started again," And lucky for you...I managed to get a hold of the next hand-to-hand combat pairings."

His words pulled me from my haze, my eyes focusing intently on him. "Apparently, they've paired Eren with Annie, and you've been assigned with Reiner. But... I swapped you and Annie. Now you're paired with Eren."

A wave of joy surged through me. The thought of sparring with Eren, even if just for training, filled me with excitement. Finally, a chance to be close to him, to feel the connection we once shared. But before I could bask in that joy, Armin's next words hit me like cold water, making my face flush.

"We both know how madly you are in love with him. But for once, try acting like a normal person around him. Stop being so intense, and for god's sake don't act like a weirdo."

My face burned crimson, matching my scarf. "What... why are you being so toxic today?" I muttered, embarrassed by his bluntness.

Armin shrugged, his eyes steady. " Trust me these aren't my words. Eren said you've been making him uncomfortable these past few months. If you really want him to remember who we are, you need to get a hold on your own emotions first."

He finished his stew and stood to leave, his final words lingering in the air. "Just... be yourself, Mikasa. That might become the key."

"Ah... sorry... okay," I mumbled, feeling my heart tighten. My gaze shifted across the room, finding Eren at the far left, seated beside Christa and Ymir. His eyes were closed, as they so often were lately, as if shutting out the world.

I watched him from afar, the ache in my chest growing. Despite everything, he was still the Eren I adored. And I couldn't bear to lose him.

A small, bittersweet smile touched my lips as I whispered to myself, "Sorry... Eren. I'm sorry I didn't understand what you've been through. But I promise, we'll be together. I won't give up on us... ever again."