1 The Beginning

When everything is falling apart, are you ready to sacrifice everything?

Are you ready to be someone more capable of doing amazing things?

Things takes time and everyone must know, that first we have to be more braver and tougher.

Lights up, do you know who you are?

-

I am 15 years old when things started to fell apart.

I became so much eager to achieve things and came to the point where i will cry all night. I will always ask myself, why? I've been fighting with this pain for a very long time.

I am craving for so much attention, but everytime i try there will always be that someone who will forget that they have me. That once in their life they experience having me

Even my friends. What if, i am the only important person in this world?

I can't even address myself as part of the 'Wyn' family anymore.

"You are Xyszia Wyn for gods sake! Stop being so stubborn and go out! Make friends! hangout with them! "

I will always hear my mom saying that line every single day. Psh. I am not friends with anyone. Well, i have some but i am not always with them.

"Mom, i am enjoying my life alone." I simply answered.

"Are you sure? Baby, i don't want you to be sad and lonely every single day-" i immedietly cutted her line.

"I can handle my own emotions, i am not a baby anymore." i carry myself and my pride proudly while going inside my room.

It's never my intention to hurt my own mother.

It's never my intention to hurt everyone.

Because i am here silently fighting.

Silently facing my own battles.

Atleast be so sweet when things just stayed the same.

"What the fuck?" i cursed after seeing an unknown man standing ay the front of our house, wearing an all black outfit. But when he caught me looking, he immedietly run away.

Minutes after, some unknown number call me.

"hi?" i don't want to answer it but my guts tell me so.

"He's back. The real king is back--" what? i am very very confused. So i cut the call right away.

I slept silently that night. Not minding the mysterious

guy infront of our house. Yes! and the unknown call from someone?

"Hi Mamala!" (grandmotherxmother:filoword)

Mamala is my mother's mom. My favorite person in the world. "Goodmorning, Zia." i walked towards her to give her a kiss "I heard that you spent all week, inside your room?" I gave her a quick eyeroll.

"Mamala, i am too immune to Mom's voice! Everyday she would scold me for being such an anti-social girl" I mea, what's wrong with being alone? I am damn happy. I am fond of doing things alone and i must confess that i enjoy every bits of my activities these past few days.

Drinking and partying? Me? It is useless, and the time awfully fails me, to prolong with this things. My family have to try hard to accept things. We're just going to accept things andlive with it.

Even though my family is known for being a friendly, helpful and compassionate people in this city. They can't foorce me to socialize. There's nothing wrong with it.

Wyn or whatever i want to do thing the way i wanted. Iwant to know myself more, to experience things alone. I fell out of love to the things i used to do when i am little.

How about you? do you know who you are?

There are times when I look at the mirror and forget that i knew the old me, and I'd start imagining things about how cheerful i am before. What if things were differently? How can one forgot someone? How can one forget someone who gave them so much to remember?

I Felt the cold breeze of the wind caressing my face, and for that moment there i felt that it was me accepting the fact that i can't have anything that i want. And there i realized that, the reason i wanted to be alone is beacuse im too scared to be forgotten. To be someones 'ooh i know her but i can't remember'.