13 Chapter XII, The Mask of Patience

I took a deep breath as I set the pile of books on the floor and took out my folder from my bag. Why does it always seem that you need to prove yourself to everyone you meet?

I cleared the thought from my head and picked up the books, taking one more deep breath as I opened the door

Storming inside, I slammed the books on Aenhrys' desk, handed him my essay, and recited:

"The first age of elves, also known as the dark age, began after Supreme Emperor Cyran relinquished his command over King Gilios and banished the house of Eris from the original continent.

"The king traveled overseas until he landed upon the eastern shores of the unclaimed continent of Aenthril. He sent his three sons to call for the aid of the king's sister - Queen Aestron of the moonlit Elves - to help drive back the darkness that infested the land.

"The most notable event of the first age was the battle of shades, where king Gilios fell at the hand of the unnamed darkness, a lord of all demons, a foe called Ciaran the evil.

"At the passing of king Gilios, his three sons and sister drove back the darkness and went their separate ways, each forming a kingdom between the Aenthrilian lands of Veilla and Astralla."

I motioned to the papers I had handed Aenhrys. "Those should explain and elaborate further."

Aenhrys picked up the papers and shuffled through them, any trace of a smile fading from his face as he skimmed through them. "Satisfactory, but nowhere in these thirty sheets do I see a hint or mention of Faen the Noble."

I sighed. "Your books were not very helpful, in the slightest. None of them mentioned nor ever hinted anything about the first age. So forgive me if I have missed one fair lady."

I hesitated. "Although I did enjoy the histories of Thelnilin. I read them before I insulted the visiting prince of Mythfall for around ten minutes straight."

Aenhrys looked thoughtful and not at all shocked by my claim. "Hmm…I wondered why Lord Arius was sulking around the library. It seems like someone finally broke the young man's heart. He nodded to the seat across from himself, beckoning for me to sit.

"I don't regret anything." I proclaimed tartly. "Arius deserved it."

In truth, I felt guilty. Arius had been my friend. Did he really feel bad? Or was the old elf messing with my thoughts? I don't believe for a second that Arius would be so open; wearing his heart on his sleeve. But did I break his heart? Could I do that? Would I do that?

Wouldn't I?

The old elf's face showed no trace of emotion, just an unblinking stare reaching deep into my soul.

I cleared my throat uncomfortably. "Anyway, do you find my essay satisfactory enough to meet your necessary requirements?"

Aenhrys nodded. "Satisfactory? Yes-"

"So you'll teach me?!"

He sighed dismissively, waving his hand for added effect. "Yes, yes. But I must have your word that you will not question my teachings, nor will you question the manner in which I teach them. You must also accept that there is more than a magical abnormality that I must instruct you upon. Are we at an understanding?"

"Okay, I give you my word." I blurt out a little too hastily.

Aenhrys pursed his lips, a slight twinkle in his silver eyes. "Good. Now, follow me, if you will."

"Do you know what your talent is?" The Aenhrys asked as we walked through the courtyard.

"No…" I muttered guiltily. This had been bothering me recently. Whenever Arna would change her hair or Roan would call down a raven to fly overhead, I would feel a pang of jealousy stab at me.

When I had expressed my concerns to Valora, she laughed off the question and slapped my arm playfully. Calling me childish.

Was I childish? Yeah, I guess so. But you really can't blame me! It's like shaking a box in your face and holding it just out of reach. Incredibly infuriating.

Aenhrys sighed and shook his head." I suppose that's where we'll start."

Paper.

The damn elf made me stare at a blank piece of parchment, in a blank book, in a blank room, with no sound besides the beating of my heart and the fury raging in my head.

I never want to see another blank page in the next hundred years. I thought angrily to myself. What good comes of this? Making me sit in confinement for three gods damned hours?

I tried to stay calm, as there was a high chance that Aenhrys was spying on me using the same source of magic that he had used to block the noise. I didn't want him thinking me impatient, now did I?

Gods, taking finals is more fun than this. At least I know what I'm supposed to do.

When Aenhrys had let me out - using his calmest and most infuriating voice - I stormed back up to my room for more solitary confinement. Otherwise known as: you're damn right there was someone in my room, uninvited, when I got back.

"What the hell are you doing on my couch?" I demanded in outrage. Part of me annoyed that I couldn't spend a second of the day without someone's company, part of me pissed off that someone was sitting on my perfectly nice couch with shoes on.

Roan shrugged, continuing to clean under his fingernails with his knife without bothering to look up. "You left your window unlocked. I couldn't very well leave this place undefended, now could I?:

Sighing, I strode over to my window and latched it shut. "So let me get this straight. You just happen to notice that my second-story window is unlocked, and took it upon yourself to climb up a damned tree and sneak through my window to lounge on my couch."

I rummaged through my cabinets until I found a bottle of the elves' preferred drink and a wine glass.

"As your friend, I expected a warmer welcome." Roan muttered, making room for me to sit beside him at the sight of me pulling a second chalice from the cupboards.

"We're friends now?" I poured the wine between the two glasses, substantially filling one more graciously than the other.

"Well if you're offering a drink and accepting that I temporarily crashed on your couch, then yes; I do believe that we are 'friends.'"

I scoffed, surveying him from my kitchenette. "Who says I was offering you a drink?"

Roan raised an eyebrow. "You aren't gonna drink two glasses of that stuff. It's practically champagne."

I made a mental note to lightly stab Valora next time I had the pleasure of seeing her. "Maybe I'm going to kick you out, go in my bedroom, and wait for Arius." It hurt to say his name, but I swallowed my guilt; hoping I had at least got a reaction from Roan.

A hint of amusement that did not reach his eyes flitted across Roan's face. "No, you won't. You're too distraught to call anyone to your bed. Much less your ex-lover."

Rolling my eyes, I slumped down next to him, handing over a glass. "Prick."

"Arse."

"Idiot."

��Darling."

I stared at him, unsatisfied when he point-blank refused to flinch under my unbending gaze.

"What? I thought we were just spouting philosophical nonsense." He grinned and batted his lashes in a mock impression of Leonora.

"Yes. 'Idiot' is definitely a philosopher's insult of choice." I watched carefully as I drained my goblet and set it on a side table. Roan said nothing.

"Why are you here? You have a million other things to do, and yet you insist upon drinking my beverages and lounging on my couch."

"You certainly had no problem when Arna did the same thing the other night."

I hesitated, then decided it best not to say anything as Roan drawled on. "I thought that you would've come to see me again rather than sit in the library all day in the stifling castle."

"The library is pleasant enough when you don't want servants following you around every corner." I glowered, going on the defensive.

"Oh I'm sure you��re right. But I find that there are better ways to obtain knowledge." His eyes flitted to mine. "Like the knowledge that you've been studying your ass off every night just to keep your mind off of your darling little prince; not to impress Aenhrys like you keep telling yourself."

"I-"

"And look where that got you." Roan mused. "Sitting in a room for three precious hours. How silly."

I glared at him. "And what, exactly, do you expect me to do in my spare time otherwise? Better to focus on something worthwhile versus mulling over what is not." I felt a tiny bit offended by his comment about Arius; but even more so in knowing that it was true.

Roan studied me briefly. Flashes of emotion flickered across his face, though disappearing before I could read them. "I'm thinking," he finished his glass. "That I want you to walk with me."

"No. Last time we went on a walk, you ended up carrying me back to my rooms in the dead of night." I blushed at the thought. "I'm not going with you again."

He simply looked at me until I relented.

"Fine. But we aren't going to the tree."

"So. Talk to me."

Roan had chosen one of the outer paths that ran around the perimeter of the city. Although I wouldn't admit it, it was fairly nice to get outside. There is something in the way the trees swayed in the wind and the way the birds sang that made me feel at home.

"What are you? My therapist?"

"What in the star's name is a therapist?" Roan frowned at my amused face as I realized that he genuinely had no idea what a therapist was. Who knew?

I sighed, still grinning. "Never mind, it's an earth thing. Kinda like an advisor for your mental health in a way." I kicked a small pebble down the path, aiming it for the back of Roan's shin. It missed.

"I saw that." He said quietly, leaning in so his breath tickled my ear. I shoved him playfully, actually kicking him in the shins this time.

"And? What do I care? Maybe I wanted you to see." I gave him a sly grin.

"What else do you want me to see, then?"

"You falling off a cliff." I said promptly.

"Of course." He muttered sarcastically. "Why did I expect anything less from my darling princess?"

I scoffed. "I'm not your darling. And 'princess' is too strong and dull of a word to describe me." I took a silken ribbon from the pocket of my cloak and tied my hair up in a ponytail to emphasize my point.

Roan clapped me on the shoulder. "Indeed it is. I must admit that I was quite surprised when I first learned that you were Alberic's daughter; but then again, you are more like your mother than anything. Or, so I've heard."

I stayed quiet. The complement was meant well, but the mention of my mother sent a wave of sorrow over me. I had been so busy coping with training and adapting to this new world, that I had almost completely forgotten that I no longer had a mother.

Roan must've sensed my sorrow, as he walked slower and closer to me; his shadowy cloak brushing against the forest green one I had assumed earlier.

"I'm sorry," part of his voice sounded broken, like something inside him sympathized with me. If that was even possible.

He sighed, looking down at the gravel path and kicking some pebbles of his own. "I know what you are going through. In a way. My…friend died a few years back. It gets better eventually." He smiled softly at me, though not meeting my gaze. "I know you blame yourself; I did too, though it was actually my-"

Roan stopped himself, choking on his own words. "Listen, there may be days that you want to kill yourself because of it. There may be times where you just want to forget. But try not to place the blame on yourself. The pain will fade if you are patient enough. I know it sounds like the same phony crap that you've been dealing with, but I mean it."

His hand left my arm, leaving my skin tingling from his touch and silence between us.

I didn't mind the silence, and I don't think Roan did either. It wasn't an empty sort of silence, it was more of mutual understanding that lay between us. Horrors that we wanted to move past, but that weighed us down wherever we went.

"Who was it for you?" I looked up at him, trying to find the emerald eyes that would not find my own. "Who…who died, I mean."

He gazed at the darkening sky; maybe looking for possible aerial spies like Arna, maybe contemplating the shadowy depths that lay beyond the atmosphere. "Her name was Zaela."

"Oh?" I think I was taken aback. No, just simply dumbstruck. "Were you two a…?"

Roan gawked at me. "Stars, no. She was one of Avis's ambassadors. Lovely young woman, totally out of my league."

"I see."

A smile flitted across his face, a distant memory of a different time. "The elven council decided it best to check up on our southern allies when Ciaran first started his so-called subtle raid and attacks. They elected Zaela and me for the positions of ambassador that year; I think we were fourteen or fifteen at the time. 'Round two years ago."

Holy gods. When I was that age, I took my first pre-calculus class. That was only last year for me.

As if he read my mind, Roan snorted, saying, "We were young. Too young. Quinlin was better suited for the role. It wouldn't have mattered if that arse kicked the bucket early; he never let it go that I let such an attractive lady go to waste. She was so much better than that. I should've been the one to die instead."

I embraced him lightly. Here was someone who actually understands what I am going through.

"What are you doing?" Roan asked incredulously, though not breaking away from the embrace.

"Hugging you. Now shut up."

"May I ask why you are so graciously showing such signs of affection?"

"Because that's what friends do."

He snorted, pulling away so he could better see my moonlit face. Or so he could get a better look down my shirt, it's tough to say. "We're friends now?"

"You just took me on an evening stroll. I'm sure we can be friends."

"There's my badass little princess."

We smiled at each other until it became a tad bit awkward. Roan cleared his throat. "I guess we should be heading back. Want me to accompany you?"

"You're my friend now. You are practically obligated to accompany me."

"Will there be drinks, I mean, refreshments at your place?" A mischievous glint in his eye told me as much.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I guess we could finish that bottle from earlier."

"Cheers."