Chapter 2 - Understanding

Daemon never looked at me the same way again in the week following our discussion. All he gave me now was a look of understanding and sometimes a glimpse of concern. Emotion has always been a weakness of demon-kind. They experience lukewarm emotions. Watered down by physical and mental superiority over humanity. Believing emotion to be a weakness that only lends to humans being a more desirable prey. Anger, hatred, sorrow and pain all add to the flavour of the soul. A soul more drenched in darkness is one the sweetest of meals. Yet, Daemon no longer acts as his more...unfeeling self.

His fondness for me has grown to be more and more noticeable to me as I've witnessed several acts of unadulterated kindness from him. From the man now destined to end my life.

Through observing Sebastian all these years, I've noticed the small things he does for me. Things that aren't required yet he does them anyway as though he would never have thought to do anything else. An undeniable instance of this was when he repaired the ring of the Ashton estate on the night I was beaten to a pulp during a police investigation of a local serial killer. A ripper on the streets of London, a mere copy of the infamous first.

He surprised me that night, although I hid these feelings behind a mask of noble eloquence, I began to understand that he truly would go above and beyond for the Ashton name. That he'd protect it as reverently as I have. He had no need to protect my status, my wealth or my family's memory. No need to do anything but keep me alive to fulfill my revenge. Our contract.

It was the same when I caught influenza due to being pushed into water and left to dry in the freezing cold by my annoyingly persistent betrothed, Marianne. She never even gave my well being a thought until Daemon stepped in. He forced me into bed and nursed me back to health with such compassion. Perhaps he thought me to be a mere child pining for attention, and perhaps I was, but I could never reveal my appreciation. To do that would bring shame upon me. Upon my name.

I was so foolish then, and I still am. Proud. My pride became me. It becomes me even now, and I must redeem myself. Before it consumes me entirely. Before I lose this feeling and fail to show him gratitude like I have for so many years. My appreciation for his care, his patience and his teachings. Yet, the fear of a cold response swallows me whole. Fear of emotional rejection. Fear of being wrong.

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𝑴𝒚 𝒃𝒐𝒅𝒚 𝒍𝒂𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒍𝒚 𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒂 𝒘𝒐𝒐𝒅𝒆𝒏 𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒎, 𝒖𝒏𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒐𝒗𝒆, 𝒗𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒍𝒚 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒌 𝒔𝒎𝒐𝒈 𝒔𝒘𝒊𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒂𝒊𝒓. 𝑪𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒅𝒚 𝒈𝒂𝒔𝒉𝒆𝒔. 𝑰 𝒄𝒓𝒚 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒑 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒅𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒐𝒏 𝒆𝒏𝒅. 𝑼𝒏𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒈𝒐𝒏𝒚 𝒆𝒏𝒈𝒖𝒍𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒚 𝒃𝒐𝒅𝒚, 𝒅𝒓𝒊𝒇𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒄𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒐𝒏𝒚 𝒕𝒐 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒍𝒚 𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒂𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏 𝒂 𝒔𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒅.

𝑴𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒅-𝒅𝒆𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒆 𝒃𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒔 𝒃𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒏 𝒎𝒚 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒕, 𝒂𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒍𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒔 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒍𝒚 𝒄𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒚 𝒔𝒌𝒊𝒏. 𝒀𝒆𝒕, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒓𝒐𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒔 𝒎𝒆 𝒐𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆, 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒄𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒓. 𝑶𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒏𝒐 𝒓𝒖𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈.

𝑨 𝒃𝒍𝒖𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒅𝒐𝒘 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒌𝒔 𝒕𝒐𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒔 𝒎𝒆. 𝑯𝒊𝒔 𝒇𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆𝒔 𝒗𝒂𝒈𝒖𝒆. 𝑰'𝒎 𝒖𝒏𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒐𝒄𝒖𝒔 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒆𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒓𝒚 𝒂𝒔 𝒂 𝒅𝒆𝒆𝒑, 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒌 𝒗𝒐𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒌𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆.

"𝑪𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒅, 𝑰 𝒂𝒎 𝒂 𝒅𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒏 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔. 𝑻𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝑰 𝒎𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒓𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒚, 𝒓𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒑𝒂𝒚. 𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒔𝒐𝒖𝒍. 𝑨𝒓𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈?" 𝑰𝒏 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒉 𝒉𝒂𝒛𝒆 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒃𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒆, 𝒘𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒘𝒂𝒚. 𝑻𝒐 𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒍. 𝑨𝒍𝒍 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒅𝒐 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒍𝒚 𝒏𝒐𝒅. 𝑵𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒂𝒚 𝒂 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅, 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎𝒔 𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒂𝒕. 𝑴𝒚 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒄𝒄𝒆𝒑𝒕 𝒅𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒔𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏.

𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒊𝒔 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒎𝒚 𝒔𝒂𝒇𝒆𝒕𝒚 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒚 𝒑𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒓 𝒔𝒐 𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒊𝒍𝒚 𝒓𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒎𝒚 𝒍𝒆𝒈. 𝑨𝒔 𝒊𝒇 𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝒆𝒇𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒕 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒎𝒂𝒏...𝒏𝒐, 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒓𝒚 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒆. 𝑨𝒍𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒆 𝒂 𝒔𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒐𝒎. 𝑯𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒓𝒎𝒔 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒇𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒘𝒓𝒂𝒑 𝒂𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒚 𝒘𝒆𝒂𝒌 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒎, 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒍𝒚 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕. 𝑩𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒔𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒕. 𝑮𝒂𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒑, 𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒊𝒓 𝒂𝒔 𝒎𝒚 𝒔𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒍𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒎𝒆 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒐𝒍 𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒔𝒔, 𝒌𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆. 𝑯𝒊𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒄𝒖𝒑𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒚 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒆𝒌, 𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒕 𝑰 𝒓𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒔𝒐 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒍𝒚, 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒍𝒊𝒅𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒚 𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒂𝒕. 𝑺𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒆𝒛𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒆𝒓, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒆𝒓. 𝑺𝒑𝒍𝒖𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑰 𝒕𝒓𝒚 𝒕𝒐 𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒂𝒑𝒆 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒔𝒑. 𝑺𝒎𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒎 𝒕𝒐 𝒏𝒐 𝒂𝒗𝒂𝒊𝒍, 𝒎𝒚 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒄𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒇𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒌𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔. 𝑴𝒚 𝒃𝒐𝒅𝒚 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒍𝒊𝒎𝒑.

I awaken to my own screams, grasping at my neck. Sighing in relief to find myself uninjured. Jumping out of the bed I no longer feel safe in. I wander around the spacious bedroom that I call my own. Unable to shake the unease as I pace, and I pace. From one end to another. Staring at the untidy bed I jumped out of. The memories swirling in my head. The nightmare burned into my mind.

'Damnit all!' Clenching my teeth I swing the door open. Letting out a screech as I'm suddenly bounced backwards. A steady arm catching me before I hit the ground. "Daemon!"

"My Lord, what are you doing up so early?"

"What are you doing entering my quarters so early in the morning?!" I counter as he gently lifts me into standing. Hold your tongue, Ashton. You promised yourself that you'd be able to show Daemon the kindness he deserves. You don't want to go back on the promises you make to yourself, you've done that far too often.

"I'm here to check on your well-being. After all, you are far too well known for being kidnapped in the evenings."

"It's not my fault that I'm so difficult to resist, now is it?"

"I suppose not, but since you're still here I assume a kidnapping isn't the reason you're awake now."

"How perceptive you are." I add a sarcastic eye roll as I cross my arms over my chest. "If you must know, I had a nightmare and I didn't want to stay in that room any longer."

"Oh dear, may I ask why?"

"I needed to wander unconfined to the same four walls, now may I exit into the hallway? I'm on edge just standing in front of the door."

He seems genuinely surprised that I asked him politely, but doesn't waver on stepping to the side to let me through.

Walking through the doorway brings me instant relief, holding the back of my neck with closed eyes, I sigh. Opening them to find the attentive gaze of the man who has aided me all these years. It may be the ease I feel, the relieving of the pressure that nightmare forced upon me but... I do something neither of us expected me too. I smile. A relaxed, natural smile.

And in return I'm greeted by one given right back. In my clouded mind I say the words I set out to from the beginning. "Thank you, Daemon. For checking on me at night. Even when I never ordered you to. I appreciate it."

"Did you hit your head too hard when you bumped into me, my Lord?"

"Just allow me to be sincere for once in my life!"

"There's the Young Master I'm accustomed to."

"Ugh! I'm far too tired for this!"

"I have one more thing to say before I allow you to freely wander."

"And what, pray, would that be?"

"You're welcome."