4 I will try

I worked my shift that night, feeling great having met some new people at the dog shelter. It felt like a small accomplishment, but it meant a lot to me.

Perhaps my listlessness wasn't going to be my downfall yet. The next day I woke up at 6 a.m. to get an early breakfast, the best kind of breakfast; a cheap one.

Waffle house early in the morning is an experience to behold. I went in and the first thing that greeted my droopy morning eyes were two of the employees smoking away at some cigarettes.

One of them had their apron hanging over their shoulder while the other wore street clothes like they didn't even work there.

I walked around them and took a seat at the table closest to the register. Another girl, who was not wasting time smoking, took my order. As I waited with a mug with black coffee in my hand another customer entered.

I kept to myself to avoid eye contact and do the whole "head nod" thing we do that I've always found awkward. As I enjoyed my dark coffee I felt a person's presence in front of me.

It was Daisy, who I had just met the day before. She leaned in on me drinking my coffee. "Ah, eating all alone?" She asked. When she got close to me her glasses slipped off her nose and dropped onto the table, tapping the side of the mug.

I grabbed it and handed it back to her. "I like to get here early so that no one's here to bother me."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bother-".

I shook my hands in denial to her response and I just realized how mean my comment sounded, so I had to clarify. "No, not you. I mean look around you." I pointed to a few of the weirdos that sat on the bar and we're loitering outside. "If I get here too late I'm basically screwed."

Her worried look changed to an understanding one. "Oh I see. Well, would you mind if I sat here?"

This was the first time a girl wanted to eat with me. Boy, was I glad I decided to have an early breakfast. She pushed and slid her rainbow striped backpack to the end of the bench. She then ordered herself a coffee and her own food.

"So." I said, trying to come up with a good conversation. "What are you doing up so early! I mean, I have a reason. What's yours?"

She took a sip of her coffee with cream and sugar then cleaned her lips with a napkin from the holder. "I dunno. Just wanted to get a bite and do something different." She drank some more. The heat from the coffee fogged her glasses. "I want to be spontaneous."

"I see." In actuality, I didn't get it, but I kept speaking as if I did. "I wish I could be a bit more spontaneous. Recently I've lacked any drive to do so. I mean, on top of that, I never know what to do."

"Oh, so you don't have a job or anything like that?"

"No." I peeled the paper wrapper from the plastic straw and stuck it into my ice water. "Thankfully I have my part time job at Dixie's. It's not that."

Daisy nodded her head as I spoke, assuring me that she was listening, which I appreciated. "Hm, then so are you talking about your future?"

The future was a topic that I was familiar with. But familiarity doesn't equal understanding. "I can't say. Maybe? It's more like I don't know what to do with myself. Should I go to school or find a career? And if so, what kind of education or what career? My head is filled with too many questions that have been unanswered."

The waitress set our food at the table and refilled our drinks. That's when Daisy got a glimmer in her eye with an idea. She cut a piece out of her egg, picked it up with her fork and showed it to me. "You see this egg? It's different than yours, isn't it?"

I nodded with confusion. "Yeah, but what does that have anything to -".

She cut me off and continued. "Your eggs are scrambled while mine are sunny side up. They're both eggs but they were cooked differently."

"Oh I see, so what's your point?"

"The point is that even when you cook an egg differently, it's still a cooked egg that's ready to be eaten." She stuck the fork in her mouth and smiled with pleasure at the taste. "And tasty too!"

Her cute little analogy was charming. It touched me a bit. "Thanks, Jesus, for the parable!" I said, finally eating my food.

"Oh, you didn't like it?"

"Haha. I did like it, it's cute."

We both ate our meals quickly. She was the quickest eater I had ever seen. At least, quickest female. She gulped down her food relentlessly. I wondered if she was in a hurry.

But that couldn't be the case. She was the one who wanted to eat me with me, not the other way around. The way things turned out made it all worth while.

Once we paid for our meals, I walked out with her into the pretty daylight as the sun began to rise above the cloudy horizon. She looked pleased, and I felt satisfied. Almost like another accomplishment.

"So." she cleared her throat. "I guess I'll be seeing you soon."

Soon? I don't remember agreeing to see her again verbally but I didn't mind.

"Of course. I look forward to it."

She went on her way. A few feet away from me she turned around and caught me by surprise. "Hey!" she yelled out. "Don't over think things. You'll be fine, just take your time. Your head will clear up soon enough!"

I was at a loss for words, so I nodded my head like a bumbling idiot. As I kept walking the less busy than usual streets her image pestered my mind.

She was the kind of girl who goes with the flow and takes life by the shoulders and tells it what to do, not letting life boss her around. With her spunk maybe she could teach me how she does it.

It also helped that she was so cute that I took what she said to heart. It seemed that the more I ventured, the more I gained. I was going to figure this out soon enough, I felt it coming.

My endless thoughts led me down a path I was unfamiliar with. I should have been paying attention to where I was walking. I noticed I was on the other side of town where the grass is unkept, the streets are dirty with empty cans and syringes and shady people walked around with their hands in their pockets.

My heart started to beat faster and faster with a sense of curiosity, it being my first time there, and also fear rushing through my veins filling me with a nervous adrenaline that would make a cat pounce at anyone who scared it.

While I looked down at my phone I almost hit the stop sign square in the face but caught myself in the nick of time and stepped to the side for safety.

I fumbled onto the trashy floor and landed square on my butt. Before I had a chance to recover and stand up and hang reached out to me for help. I took it without even giving it a second thought.

Once I stood up I saw and knew exactly who it was. It was the mysterious poem girl who asked me existential questions.

She placed her hand back to her sides and swung then in delight. "We meet again." she said, giddy for some unknown reason. Maybe due to my fall.

"Yeah, and always at inconvenient times. That's for sure." I retaliated. Everytime I saw her it was only about me and myself, she never wanted to talk about anything else. Why even bother with me?

She wagged her finger at me, as if I was a child. "Now, now. I'm only trying to help."

I cleaned off the dust from my pants. "You sure got a funny way of showing it."

"Did you ever find your answer?"

"Well... no, not really." I figured if she was gonna be the one inquiring, maybe she could help me find the answer for me! "What do you do with your life? You are older than me after all. No doubt a woman of your caliber has a career and goals they've set in the past and accomplished, one after another." I retorted sarcastically.

"As a matter of fact-" the mysterious woman put her hands on mine and closed them together. The warmth from her palms radiated on to my fingers and kept them snug from the brisk morning air. "-I figured that out a while ago. Wanna know how I got to that point?"

Now this woman wasn't giving off sinister vibes. It felt truthful. Maybe she did have the answer. After all, she looked well put together. Yeah, she was a bit on the weird side, but we all are sometimes.

I relaxed my fingers and let them sink into her warm grip. "Yeah, please tell me. I want to know what helped you figure your life out. What's the answer?"