12 "Stargazing"

Felix's POV:

A day before Alexander's arrival

I brushed off the dust off my sleeve, and I breathed out. This shithole kept getting smaller and more cramped with each new person coming here. Why couldn't they just take their belongings and get rid of them or something? Ember has gotten quite a soft spot for these newcomers.

Back where I used to live at, they didn't give less of a crap when it came to resources. If the person is shitty at work, why keep one like that. This is all about effort these days, isn't it?

"Are you ready?" Daniele turned to me, and I pulled my gloves up, clasping them together.

"Mhm." I grabbed my gun, stuffing it into my belt.

She headed for the door.

I followed. My shoulders felt quite tense. I wasn't really glad for today. I would be fucked completely if we failed the mission. Not only fucked, I'd be probably dead.

"So. Anything new?" She turned, her eyes shining behind her mask, that had a coat of dust coated on it.

"Eh.. Wouldn't say so." I stood by the edge, keeping watch.

"Wouldn't say so? You're quite the boredom by itself." She nudged me by my arm.

"Boredom? That made much sense, miss English 101." He scoffed, and she rolled her eyes, turning her head away from him.

"Come on. I make more sense than you probably ever will." She leaned by the railing, and looked at the distance.

"Mhm, right." I turned my gaze away from her, shifting it to the distance, as she did too.

Her brown, big and soft eyes shined due to the overwhelming sun burning through our clothes.

"If we took our jackets off, our skin would literally burn off from this heat." She scoffed, covering her eyes with her palm, looking back at the distance.

I closed my eyes, and inhaled sharply. I hated the warmth. I hated the sand. I hated everything that this world turned into.

The tips of my fingers brushed against the hot, metal railing as I started walking to my left, tracing the tips of my slim fingers along the railing, that felt like would melt any second.

"Did you forget what we have to do?" She scoffed, just following along, and I shook my head.

"Of course not. I'm keeping more watch then you probably are right now in general." I turned, her eyes formed into a glare, as she threw a small rock at the back of my head, it was tiny, but it still hurt.

"OI! Do you want me to go blind?" I hissed at her, and she chuckled, and nodded a couple times.

"What do you know? Maybe I do." She nudged with her elbow at my arm, and I glared at her.

"I thought I scared you, Daniele." I walked alongside of the fence, both of my hands stuffed in my pockets.

The distance between the ground and me was quite far, if I were to trip and fall over the fence, I would probably just be a late-little snack for Freaks or something.

Freaks are a rare occurance. They don't show up oftenly. But around times they do come around. Most survivors haven't even witnessed one, and they should be glad they haven't. Freaks are nothing but cruel and twisted creatures, with no clear mind of what they'll do. Or how they'll end you.

It was getting more dim, the sun was starting to hide behind the clouds. The darkness was slowly filling the air, and I closed my eyes. Everytime I closed my eyes, the darker the world felt. It sounds so stupid, because each time you close your eyes it always gets darker.

But sometimes the dark feels comforting. Sometimes closing your eyes and drifting off to a place you wish existed in your reality feels better than the reality itself.

Sometimes wishing to live in a different world than your own feels much more comforting than any comfort character existing within your actual reality. Like sleep is the only escape. The world is as fragile as a porcelain piece. Like a tiny loophole of nothingness going around and around. Making an eternal loop of nothing but dust and.. Emptyness.

The world feels empty. It feels empty inside my head. My thoughts cannot still adapt to the fact the world became more dim, more dark. More empty, more of a shithole.

I opened my eyes. The soft darkness surrounding me didn't feel scary. The sky was clear, the stars were visible.

"Hey, look the stars are visible." I stopped, and turned, grabbing hold of the railing, and tilting my head upwards, to take a look at the sky.

"Wow. It's truly beautiful." Daniele did too, she stood around a foot apart from me, also having her head tilted upwards, admiring the night sky.

"It's truly.. Mesmerizing." She muttered.

The darkness was comforting. The stars shining in the blank, clear dark sky felt truly mesmerizing. Somehow took me back into small moments, making me think through a lot. Maybe there's still hope. There's still a place that exists within that's like our old home.

And.. I know it does. Even if I have to imagine it.

Daniele continued looking up at the sky, as I glanced down, and at her. Her eyes looked so warm, filled with neverending hope, as if they were a bucket of hope and happiness. I wanted to protect her. I wanted to take care of her. Because she was one of the people that understood me best. She was one of the only people that took care of me, and took care of my well being. We struggled through shit together. Going through dark and deep waters, drowning in it together.

That's why I wanted to protect her. I wanted to protect Daniele. Because she was like a sister to me. Like that family I never had.

She turned her head to me, and we made eye-contact.

"What's on your mind?" She asked, and I glanced away.

"Nothing." I turned my head away from her gaze, that felt so warm and admiring, her eyes were easy to drown in.

Those hope-filled eyes of Daniele's were comforting but also made me sick to the stomach. Because I didn't see the hope. I didn't see the world the same way as she probably did. The little happy bundle Daniele was nothing I met before.

Because there's nothing you can be happy of. Every corner is filled with emptyness. It's depressing, really. But it's the reality. The shattered reflection of a lost world that still reflects in her eyes makes me sick to the stomach.

How can she see the hope that is not there?

"I admire you, Daniele." I said, staring into the distance. There was a light breeze, it wasn't cold, but more like refreshing after the warmth that reached the daylight.

"Admire me?" She glanced at me, and then turned her head to the distance.

"Yes, I admire you." I said, and I looked down at her, and she looked at me with a confused gaze.

"What's there to admire?" She asked, her voice was soft, it sounded a little tired, though.

"A lot, if you ask me." I said, and she looked at me.

A small moment of silence stood in-between the two of us.

"We should get back." She said, and I nodded.

"Yeah. We should." She turned, and walked down the still-hot concrete, her heels tapping on the ground, making a slight sound as she walked.

"And-" She stopped.

She turned, and rushed up to me, giving me a hug.

She wrapped her little arms around me, I was unsure of what to do myself, to either stand there or hug her back.

"What's this for?" I looked down at her.

"Thank you." She muttered into my arm, and I rose my eyebrows, a confused look in my face.

"For wh-"

"Come on! Let's go." She pulled away, cutting me off, and walking away to the direction of the door.

"Wait-" I picked up my pace too, to catch up to her.