3 "Little secret"

"W-What?" I said, as he took the bird in and several guards entered the room. They ordered me and Carter to move to the room beside this one, so that they could fix the hole in the window.

He put the bird in a small box.

"'Careful. There's glass shards on the floor-" He helped me up, out from the bed.

"Sorry-" I muttered.

We walked out of the room, into a different one.

I got in the bed, as he put the bird that was in the box, on the end of my bed.

"We should examine it." He said, as I grabbed a box of unopened gloves off the nightstand and took two pairs of new gloves, throwing one pair at Carter.

"Shoudn't we like.. De-toxic it? Or I'm not sure what I could call it." I said, as he nodded.

"Well, let's first take a look at it. Let's see how's the bird doing." He took the bird in his hand, lifting the wings, looking for wounds, or potential mutation signs.

"It's.. Not hurt at all. Well, maybe a bit dizzy from the crash, but no potential mutation signs, and it seems to be in great condition." He explained, as I removed the gloves and asked Carter to throw them in the trashbin.

"I mean should we tell Veri?"

"No. I think this is.. This gives us hope that somewhere the world is still as it used to be..-"

"Do you.. Mean-"

"Mhm." He said, as I smiled. The world may be normal somewhere, we do not know of.

The bird quickly woke up, as it tried to fly away but it couldn't.

"Is it okay?" I asked, a bit concerned that the bird may have injured itself.

"It looks like it's in a good form, but may have injured one of it's wings." He said, inspecting the bird again.

So, the bird wasn't in such amazing condition, then.

I looked out of the window, as Carter grabbed a bottle of water to give the bird something to drink.

As I imagined the long lost Earth we had once, memories of my mother and brother flood my head.

The warm days, the cold ones, the snow and ice on the grass and trees, that made you slip, and the hot summer days that you spent at the beach or a pool.

I miss everything, even the annyoing little shit mosquitoes, all the bugs and even the terrifying spiders, I miss it all.

I looked back at Carter and smiled, as I looked at the bird.

We smiled at each other, and then Carter hid the bird as soon as someone walked in.

"Well, that was bad, wasn't it?" Veri said, as she brushed off the sweat off her forehead.

"What was it?" She asked, and we shrugged, but Carter looked at me and nodded.

"We uh.. A bird flew through the window." He said, and I thought he wanted to keep the bird a secret.

"..A bird?" She rose her eyebrows.

He pulled out the box from under the bed, as Veri took her gun out and pointed it at the bird.

"Wait- It's not infected at all. It's.. A completely normal bird. Just a minor injury on it's wings."

Veri lowered her gun as she rushed to look at the bird. She took some gloves, as she slowly inspected it, whilst she put down the bird in the box again.

"We need to take it to testing." She said as Carter pulled the box away from her.

"No, this is the first time in 6 years where we have seen a non-mutated bird. Please, let us take care of it. They can kill it, and this is a once in a life-time chance." He said.

"...Sure." She sighed, as she sat on the bed and peeked at the bird.

"You're pretty much right." She said.

Veri got up. "Carter, come to my office. I got some things to discuss with you."

Carter looker at me, and then back at Veri, whilst nodding.

They left, as I looked out of the window, thinking about the world.

What would it will be like?

Not having to wear a mask, in order to breathe? Not having to be afraid of wearing shirts and everything and feeling the cold breeze on my shoulders, again? What would it be like.. To feel like you're alive again?

I wrapped my arms around myself, with happy thoughts of the world being normal again. I would have a normal life.

Everything today is a weakness. Loving someone is a weakness. Having empathy is a weakness. Even caring less for someone, is a weakness.

There was yet, another knock on the door.

"..Come in!" I said, as a girl came in, with a tray.

"From Veri." The girl put the tray down, on the little nightstand beside the bed.

"Thank you." I looked up at the girl, as she just nodded. She'd turn around, ready to leave.

"Hey- Could say something to Veri for me?" I asked.

She'd glance at me, and turn back around to face me again.

"Sure. What do you want me to say to her, for you?"

"Uh.."

I'd glance out of the window. I wondered.

"When do we go to the new area? I mean.. When does she expect us to?"

"Oh. Okay. I'll make sure to ask her that." She'd nod, as I nodded.

"And.. Would please come back with an answer?- That would be great, really." I said, as she just nodded, yet again.

"Will do. Now, eat up your food. The others will come back and get the tray back from you."

"Okay." I nodded, as she girl turned around, walking out of the room.

I looked at the tray of food.

I picked it up in my hands, grabbing the fork. Potatoes, tomatoes, strawberries.. The usual meals we get.

Strawberries this time, at least looked more ripe and sweet. Still, had a pretty sour aftertaste to it.

I finished my meal, and when I was ready to set it down, I noticed a note.

I picked it up, and raised an eyebrow.

A hidden note in my food? That's new.

I unfolded the nicely folded paper note, and looked at what stood there on it.

"Hope you enjoyed the meal. I know, nothing special. The bird is safe. It's in your room, under the bed. Carter will feed it and take care of it. You don't tell anyone, this'll be a secret between us all three. Hope you get good rest.

- Veri"

Weird.

I put the note in my drawer, as I yawned.

I felt so tired. My eyes felt too heavy. I layed my head onto the soft pillow. I stared at the blank cealing, the soft light breaking through the windows, lighting up the light room.

I wish you were here too. Hayes, mom. Everyone. I wish you all were here, joking and eating together like in the older times. I just wish it was not something I had to imagine. Not something that I had to close my eyes for in order to see again.

I felt so pathetic. I felt so vulnerable. Like a broken porcerlain cup. I didn't see the world the way I used to. Now it all just felt so shallow, and so fragile. A simple mistake could determine your and others fates.

I didn't want to be a problem more than this shithole already is. I was grateful for the clan, for the safe shelter and roof over my head, but I was just scared to admit I was clueless of what will happen. Life hasn't moved much forward these past few years. And it was what made me so unsure of what will happen from now on.

Because the life here isn't bad. No, it's fucking amazing.

But it's not the life I wanted. Nor the one I want.

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