1 AFTER THE GOLDEN SPOON COMES THE OIL SPOON
[The President and the de facto ruler of Saudi Arabia, Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman Al Saud, who is also the Prime Minister, have visited South Korea.]
A dingy one-room apartment covered in moldy wallpaper.
In this oppressive space, burdened with a heavy atmosphere, lives a man who has endured a cruel fate.
-Thump, Thump, Thump
"Ugh!"
The man, who has been an outcast without friends since elementary school, always had the word 'orphan' haunting him, with no family in sight.
In a society filled with numerous predators, this man, lacking any support, became a victim of relentless bullying starting from middle school.
He lost his testicles to a soccer ball kicked by bullies during a bet over ice cream.
Both of them, gone with a pop.
The year 2023.
Back in the 1980s, the kind of horrific bullying and pranks that are unimaginable now were considered normal.
During those times, rampant with corruption and low public consciousness.
How could one expect the consciousness of children at that time to be any higher?
It was a miracle he wasn't dead.
After nearly a decade of relentless bullying, the man's mental and physical health were in ruins.
To add to his misfortune, he had no money and wasn't academically gifted.
He ended up a high school graduate without the chance to attend even a local college.
This man, Baek Sin-woo, marked by the trifecta of misfortunes - orphan, castrated, and only a high school graduate - is currently….
masturbating to cheap porn found on the internet.
-Thump, Thump, Thump
"Damn this world! Damn this world! Ugh!"
Now 50, Sin-woo has neither savings nor a stable job.
His only solace, his only escape from this cruel reality, was masturbation.
At 50, unable to even date an older woman, let alone a young, vibrant girl, and without the money for a prostitute, masturbation was his only outlet.
He once dabbled in drugs as an escape, but quickly gave it up….
Even the forbidden world of drugs was out of reach for a penniless man like him.
Too timid to commit a crime and lacking the courage for suicide, Sin-woo was a social outcast.
All he could hope for was the immediate collapse of society, wishing death upon everyone.
Masturbation included.
Withering away in the ravages of time, but with a still agile hand, Sin-woo's penis….
Produced no semen, a side effect of being castrated.
-Thump, Thump, Thump
...Despondently
"Ah! Right, I'm castrated."
Gazing blankly at his limp penis, which could barely maintain an erection for a minute, Sin-woo was hit by a wave of brutal reality.
In the midst of his daze, he caught a glimpse of the news on TV.
The TV was on, more as a background noise, simulating the presence of life.
[Today, following their summit, the two leaders agreed to develop their countries' relationship into a 'future-oriented strategic partnership.']
"Saudi Arabia, isn't that the country rich in oil? Always mentioned in corporate novels... I'm envious."
[With the visit of Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, major Korean companies and Saudi counterparts have signed investment agreements worth tens of trillions of won.]
"..."
[Agreements were also made for Korean companies to participate in Saudi Arabia's massive 'Neom City' future city development project, with a total investment of 500 billion dollars (about 673 trillion won).]
"..."
[Hyundai Rotem will undertake the Neom railway project, Lotte Fine Chemicals in the explosives sector, and DL Chemical will proceed with the establishment of a synthetic oil plant.]
On the old TV screen appeared a man, looking like a traditional Arab tycoon.
Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, born with the strongest oil spoon in the modern world, seemed young, barely over 30, but possessed global influence, power, and wealth.
Lee Jae-yong, the chairman of Samsung Electronics, reigning like a king in the Samsung Republic.
Even the chairmen of conglomerates, owning groups that make up 50% of Korea's GDP, listened intently, bowing their heads to his words.
Perhaps, it's unthinkable for mere citizens of a republic to challenge the authority of royalty.
"With the ease of wielding 500 billion dollars, twice the wealth of the world's richest man…. I'm envious. Envious. Envious. Envious. Envious. Envious. Envious. I wish I had such a glamorous life too!"
Watching the meeting of the gods of capital in the upper world, Sin-woo felt an intense inferiority.
If only he had been born with an oil spoon.
Or as a chaebol in Korea. Or even born moderately wealthy.
Then he wouldn't be living like this.
Even if he couldn't be a globally rich person, at least he would have been somewhat successful.
He wasn't good at studies, but after reading corporate novels, business didn't seem that hard, did it?
The protagonist just had to snap his fingers, and all the fortunes of the universe would come together to make him successful.
-Thump, Thump, Thump
"Ugh! Of course, that's possible only in novels. But, if I were the protagonist of a novel - Ah! My heart!!"
Like the thrill of NTR, he felt an intense pleasure from his deep inferiority complex.
The extreme pleasure of comparing himself to the protagonist of a corporate novel.
As Sin-woo feverishly pleasured his newly erect penis, he suddenly felt a sharp pain in his chest.
Unable to even pay attention to his penis, the intense pain made him clutch his chest and collapse. Shortly after, he stopped breathing.
"No, I can't die here…. Or maybe it's better to die."
-Kerthump
As expected, in South Korea, buzzing with the visit of Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman Al Saud, the death of a man masturbating went unnoticed.
As if to say the death of a commoner and the visit of a king are incomparable, it was dismissed all too lightly.
***
In the capital of the Arabian Empire.
Riyadh.
A room in the royal palace, not quite on par with the grandeur of the empire that dominates the Middle East, but still ornately decorated.
In this room, shrouded in tight security, a boy who appears to be about 16 years old suddenly jumps up.
He screams as if he has just narrowly escaped death.
"Aaaaahhhhhhh!!"
"P, prince! Please calm down!"
I died masturbating.
Not atop a beautiful woman boasting a sexy figure, succumbing to death by overexertion.
Just died masturbating.
Of course, since he had no family or friends, his death being exposed in such a manner wasn't particularly embarrassing.
But still, it feels utterly wretched.
"Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck! Fck!(اللعنة)…. Huh? What's this?"
In the midst of intense anger and embarrassment, I suddenly realize something.
The curses flowing from my mouth aren't in Korean, but are being translated into Arabic, a language typically heard in the Middle East.
"ماذا؟ ما هذا الوضع اللعين حيث تتدفق اللغة العربية فجأة من فمي، الذي بالكاد يستطيع التحدث باللغة الكورية، ناهيك عن اللغة الإنجليزية؟
(What? What's this damned situation where Arabic suddenly flows from my mouth, which can barely speak Korean, let alone English?)"
Feeling a tremendous sense of alienation, I stop cursing and survey my surroundings.
As my sordid and repugnant past flashed by like a zoetrope, I instinctively realized I was dead and pondered whether I'd go to heaven or hell.
But no matter how much I look around, this place is neither heaven nor hell.
There's no way the Quran, the symbol of Islam, would be in heaven or hell, right?
Thinking that even heaven or hell might be embracing religious diversity these days, I soon come to a realization.
There's a man right next to me, watching me intently.
"Damn it! You scared me!!"
The man in traditional Arab attire appears to be about 50 years old.
He seemed to be around that age.
Of course, he exuded a completely different level of dignity compared to Baek Sin-woo, who was also 50 but had been burdened with three unfortunate circumstances.
Furthermore, his body, muscular as if he had been working out, and his height just over 2 meters, radiated an intimidating presence.
As if he's spreading a dense aura of lethal intent.
'Well, look at the height and build? Are you trying to throw a punch?'
