1 Chapter 1 – Bucks POV

The 20th November had been a weird day the team had been on several calls ranging from multi car collision to an OAP stuck in a bin, there last call was to a clown who had been set on fire by a kid because the kid didn't like clowns. The team pulled into the station talking about the incident with the clown as they all jumped out, Buck was shivering at even the mention of clowns let alone the word.

"I understand why the kid did it, clowns are freaky as." Buck says laughing "If it was up to me, I would ban them" he continued.

"Just because you don't like them doesn't mean you set them on fire." He says giving Buck a stern look.

"Yeah, they're not so bad, I mean we work with a clown every day." Chim grins looking over at Buck and laughing as the rest of the team joins in while they walk up the stairs to get some food.

Sat around the table Buck piled his plate high to get as much as he could, he loved Bobby's classic meatloaf he made once a month, as he was filling his plate up he could see from the corner of his eye Eddie staring at him and smiled

"What?" Buck asked turning his head to look at Eddie.

"Just, are you going be able finish all that?" Eddie says back and smiles. Buck looks at Eddie who was deep in thought as he watched Buck getting some more food. Buck smiles as he pours a ladle full of bobby's special gravy over his mountain of food.

Whilst the team were all eating, they all begun to chat amongst each other discussing what everyone was doing that night as most of the team had tomorrow off.

"Well me and Karen are having a family night." Hen says as she sits down.

"Athena and I are taking Michael and the kids out." Bobby mentions as he takes a sip of his drink.

"How are they handling everything with Michael?" Eddie asked looking over to bobby with a sincere smile.

"I don't think it's fully set in yet but were ready for whatever is to come." Bobby replies.

The team continue to eat and talk amongst each other, trying to finish their food and enjoy it before the alarm goes off again.

"What about you Chim? Have you got much planned?" Buck asks looking over to Chim.

"As a matter of fact, I do indeed, I'm taking Maddie on a date, were going to karaoke bar." Chim smirks looking up at Buck.

"Seriously? You're taking my sister there for a date? you're always there" Buck points out chuckling as everyone looks at them both.

"Well when you actually have a date with someone I'll come to you for some advice… but seeing as you haven't had one in… ooo… ages ill pass on your dating advice." Chim responds grinning as the team start laughing

"What you laughing at Diaz? I haven't seen you go on a date either in ages" Buck laughs as he turns and gives Eddie a sharp look who was laughing loudly, mainly because anything Eddie says or does Buck wants to know about

"Hang on don't bring me in to it." Eddie says holding his hands up in a joking defensive way. "anyway I have Chris to think about first"

"You cant keep using that all the time Diaz." Hen says with a soft smile

Buck just looks at Eddie who doesn't say anything back, wondering why he hadn't seen Eddie on a date for a long time, but he knew he was in the same boat, since Ali he had not been on any kind of date and he didn't want become Buck 1.0 again, as he sat there thinking about how he could sort out his disastrous dating scene.

They all finish their food up and Buck starts his cleaning duty. Whilst he's cleaning the dishes he can hear some of the team chatting behind him, he look over his shoulder and sees Chim, Hen and Eddie but he can't hear what they're talking about, so starts humming to himself and continues.

As Buck was almost finished with the dishes the alarm goes off, he drops the plates and heads to the truck, everyone else is waiting for him, once they got into the truck and headed out they checked what they were heading for, It was a classic car on fire the guy had left the on and it had overheated setting on fire. On the way back to the station Buck was thankful it was the last job of the day for him.

"I can't wait get home and relax, its been a full on day, topped with that creepy ass clown we had to attend to" Buck says

"Why don't you go out?" Hen pointed out.

"Could do, Eddie you fancy it?" Buck asks Eddie

"Sorry I cant, I got plans sorry, maybe next time?" Eddie replies

"Well I aint crashing your date Chim so night in front of the TV it is" Buck laughs as he gets out the truck and heads to the lockers to get changed. It was 6pm when he finally was finished, most of the team still had another hour to go on shift.

Once he got in the locker room he checked his phone, no messages, he stood and thought about what the others had said about dating and decided maybe it was time to date but maybe try the different market, Buck was bi and no one knew not even his sister, he didn't see or think it was a big deal most people are these days.

He opened the app store and decided to download grindr he decided the last two people he dated were women and they failed miserably so he thought he might try to date a man this time and was hopeful it might work out this time, he started setting his profile as he had to decide his username, he decided on Babyblueboi as his user name and set his profile picture to a picture of his ass as he didn't want use body pics as his tattoos would give him away, he set the distance marker as disabled so it wouldn't give anyone an exact location and wrote his profile out saying how he was looking for something more than hook ups, easy going and very outgoing but loves to spend nights indoors and having meaningful conversations.

He turns his phone on silent just incase it goes off while he gets ready ,before he could check the app to see who was around he saw Chim heading to the locker room and quickly closes it down and started getting ready to leave.

"So decided what you're doing tonight?" Chim asks

"Not yet, seeing how everyone has plans and Eddie is busy tonight I think a night in and relax sounds the best option." Buck responds putting his clothes into the locker.

"Ah, see you need get yourself out there! I know it's been hard after Abby and then Ali and all the problems you had but you are due some luck, my advice take it slow" Chim says as he pats Buck on the shoulder.

Buck finished getting ready and headed out saying his goodbyes as he walked towards his Jeep he feels a tap on his shoulder

"Hey sorry that I'm not free, I just got Chris's parent teacher thing" Eddie says

"Wasn't that last month?" Buck quizzes him knowing it was last month as he saw the report the following day

Eddie fell silent, trying to think of something to say back.

"Come on were best mates were meant tell each other everything" Buck points out nudging him playfully.

"Well I may be taking Chris's English teacher Ana out for a drink and Chris is staying at his abuelas" Eddie says knowing he's going red.

Bucks heart stopped he was shocked he didn't even know Eddie had been chatting to the teacher never mind taking her out, but it confirmed that Eddie was straight and wouldn't be interested in him, so he would have settle for best friend, he looked and saw Eddie staring at him realising he hadn't answered

"Good on you, I understand why you kept quiet it's a big thing but good luck" Buck said with a big smile and pulls him in for a hug taking in the smell of Eddies aftershave he pats him on the back and breaks the hug as he jumps in his jeep.

"See you tomorrow when we go shopping and good luck" Buck shouts out the window giving a honk as he drives off.

"Yeah, see you." Eddie waves

Buck pulls off, he turns the radio on to listen to some tunes. Soon the thought creeps into Buck's mind he couldn't understand why Eddie didn't tell him he was going on a date, he was happy he was but didn't understand why, as usual Buck starts to over think the situation creating different scenarios in his mind it was a bad habit he had, Buck pulls up to Bobs cash and carry shop a few blocks away from the firehouse to get a few things. Once buck paid for his stuff he hops back into his Jeep and checks his phone and loads up Grindr to see whose about, once it loaded up he checks his messages to see he's a few message, upon looking at them some were spam and some were from older men who weren't his taste, he deletes them, he sees a few messages from some people but non are his fancy, he shuts his phone off remembering why he hated the app and turns his engine on and drives home.

Once home he heads up to his bedroom and decides to have a shower and a quick nap, it had been a long day and he could fell the tiredness creeping in , he heads over to his wardrobe and pulled a draw open it was filled with random bits and bobs that he had just chucked in there, he knew he needed to sort it but that was for another day, he took out a phone which had on back 'hook up' on the back of the case. He decided to move the app over to that phone instead, as he remembers what happened with the stalker, the phone was completely separate to his normal one, both the phones had two separate numbers so no one could find out it was him.

He put it on charged and took off his clothes and threw them in to the washing basket, he walked to his bathroom and had a quick shower and washed himself off the grub from the day. Once he was done he dried and walked out with his towel wrapped around his waist and sat down on his bed, he leaned over to check his phone and noticed he had a missed call from Maddie, opening his phone up he calls Maddie back waiting for her to pick up.

"Hey mads what's up?" Buck asks

"Nothing, Chim mentioned you had nothing do, so I wanted see if you wanted to come out with us tonight?" She askes with a chirpy tone.

"It's ok I don't want to intrude" Buck replies

"You won't be I just don't want you sat at home moping I know how you get when you mope." She points out.

"I'm not moping! Who said I was?" Buck questioned.

"Chim text me after you left saying you looked upset everyone had plans and you didn't." She says softly

"I'm fine with it really, I'm going have a night in and relax" Buck tries to reassure his sister as he knows she's like a dog with a bone.

"Well if you are sure, but if you want to come, I can try set you up with some nice girl at the bar I'm thinking we go for a brown hair girl" Maddie laughs

"I'm not that desperate mads" Buck laughs back

"When was the last time you went on a date Buck?" Maddie voice now had a serious tone.

"You know it's been a while I just don't want be Buck 1.0 again" He explains

"Buck you won't become that version of yourself again I don't know why you keep referring to yourself as version this and version that, you have grown so much don't doubt yourself, I best get ready if you want join we will be at the bar at 9pm" she explains

"It's only just gone 7 why you need start now." Bucks enquires

"Because once chimmey gets in he will hog the bathroom he's worse than you." She giggles.

"Rude, but speak to you later" Buck says as he hangs up before she can answer him, he places his phone on the side and nods off.

Buck wakes up after a good long needed nap rubbing his eyes to remove the sleep, he sits up and leans over to turn the side lamp on, once his eyes have adjusted he looks at his phone, it was 9:30pm he notices a few messages and opens them up all from Maddie pestering him to come but he replies it's too late now he only just woke from his nap so he going crash and watch a film.

He thought to himself should he message Eddie see how it all going but thought best not as he didn't want intrude.

He got up and walked over to where is hook up phone was on charge and unplugged it and headed down the stairs to his kitchen to make a cup of coffee as he did this he turned on his hook up phone and waited for it load it had been awhile since he used it, so most likely had one or two messages from ex hook ups and updates to the software, as it did this he moved over to the sofa and sat down and put a film on he started to nod again as the film kicked in, when his normal phone went off and made him jump he looked at the screen and saw it was Chris calling but also noticed it was 10:28pm so automatically thinks the worse

"Hey buddy why you up so late? You ok? Do you need me?" Buck asks knowing it was past his bed time and would only call at this time if it was and emergency

"Hey its Eddie, sorry I borrowed Chris's phone" Eddie voice soft.

"Everything alright? why you on Chris's phone" Buck enquires

"Long story." Eddie laughs

"The date didn't go so well then I'm guessing?" Buck asks

"It wasn't, never mind when we left I fell over and dropped my phone so it broke, I got get it fixed and also banged my head on the sidewalk so got a cut there as well" Eddie tells him.

"What! Do you need me come check you over?" Buck instantly asks concerned.

"It's ok I'm at abuelas she looking after me, Ana dropped me off and then she left." Eddie explains

"so if everything is ok why you calling so late?" Buck asks not wanting to sound nasty but it made no sense to him Eddie had gone out with Ana on a date so wasn't expecting to hear off him at all, ok he was glad he let him know about his accident and everything but it still didn't make any sense.

"I just wanted let you know that's all, I know you will try later or tomorrow morning to text or call me and I won't answer and I know how panicky you get so just letting you know that's all, you alright you sound annoyed?" Eddie asks

Buck takes a minute to answer, his friend was letting him know what happened and he got annoyed, he was annoyed the fact Eddie was on a date with Ana and not him but he knew he couldn't use that as an excuse as it would ruin his relationship and he didn't want that

"Buck?" Eddie says again and Buck breaks out his train of thought

"Sorry just been a long day and Maddie was pestering me so kind of put me in a mood" Buck lies

"Ok as long as you're ok, we still on for tomorrow heading to the shops try get ahead for Christmas" Eddie asks

"I'm down for coming, but don't know why you want shop so early though?" Buck laughs

"Well I have seen the list of stuff Chris wants so need get to it plus I don't want leave it last minute and miss something and as you know we can be super busy if we are working." Eddie replies.

"True, I suppose I can get some of mine done to, well I best head bed I'm knackered, today has really taken it out of me" Buck says yawning.

"Sleep well and don't dream to much of clowns" Eddie chuckles

"You're such an ass, why you have to go say something like that? if I have a nightmare now I'll make you suffer for it tomorrow" Buck laughs

"Cya"

"Cya mate" Buck says as he puts the phone down.

Buck gets up and heads to the counter and makes another drink he notices the hook up phone is all updated, so he starts looking through and sees all the messages from old hook ups he can't be bothered read any of them so just deletes them all.

He downloads grindr on to it and logs in and heads back to the sofa to watch more TV and to see who is on again, not many people are on and he looks at the messages again random old men and spam messages he replies to a few he likes the look of and then he is caught by a user name, principe espanol encantador (charming Spanish prince) and starts reading the profile it's a blank profile there's no age but a brief discretion explains that's he's on looking for something meaningful and beautiful and not after just hook ups he likes to keep himself to himself because of work but is willing to send pictures after chatting a while. Buck thought to himself he never normally talk to a blank profile but he couldn't really judge after all he just had a picture of his bum up, and the username in Spanish, he needed get Eddie off his mind and thought this could be the best way to distract him, so he opened up the message.

'Hey, thought I message you, as you seem to want the same things so I was wondering if you want to chat, if so give me a message back'

Buck sat there for a minute thinking of what to say back, with women it would roll off his tongue and be easy to type it, but with men he always struggled to communicate with and he didn't know why, he preferred them to women but had fount women easier to talk to.

'Hey, thanks for the message, I would like chat more, How was your day?' Buck replies keeping it short and sweet before closing the app down.

He started relaxing and watching the last of the film once it had finished it was nearly midnight and he thought about heading to bed so he could get a early morning run in before going to meet Eddie, he turned the TV off got a glass of water and headed upstairs he placed both phones on the side table and went to the bathroom to get ready for bed, as he was brushing his teeth he heard the hook up phone go off, he finished up and sat on the bed and opened up the app and saw the guy had messaged back.

'It was a good day, busy because of work but also a long night, what about you?'

'Was an ok day but that's work for you spent most of the night in didn't feel like going out, what kind of work you do?' Buck responds

'I don't like to tell people straight away, I'm not new to the app but not been on it in this area before, and I'm not been funny but I have read too many stories of stalkers and people getting beat up when they meet people, so let's chat some more, I don't expect you tell me where you work don't worry. What you like do outside of work?'

'I completely understand, I have had a few weirdo's in my life so I know it can be daunting especially when they know where you work, with my work I have keep active so I like to train as much as possible but also hanging out with friends and going out drinking' Buck responds back.

'I like to train as well, keep myself active, I don't mind going out but I have situation at home and family so can't spend loads of time out but make the most of what I can do, you watch any sports?'

They spend the next 2 hours chatting about sports and films and everything about the gay life and how it really isn't there scene among other topics, Buck starts to yawn and decides to lay down and he closes his eyes which was a bad idea as he drifted off, he woke up and looked at the clock it was now 7am and he shot up and thought shit, he looked at his hook up phone and saw missed messages he opened it up and looked at them

'It's been nice talking to you, we have so much in common and you sound like a sweet guy maybe we can talk more maybe via text?'

After 20 mins

'Hello, you there?'

3am

'Guessing you either asleep or not want to talk, give me a message'

Buck sits there he couldn't believe he had fallen asleep so quickly, he picked up his phone and responded to the guy.

'Hey sorry my bad, I laid down and just fell asleep, how are you? Maybe to swapping numbers' He sends the message and gets up to get changed into his jogging gear.

Once in his running gear he puts his hook up phone on charge and sticks it in the draw, he grabs his other phone off the side, it was now 7:30am, he texts Eddie on Chris's number saying he will meet him at the mall and what time does he want him there, he puts his headphones on and turns his music on as he starts running he loves to run it helps him clear his head, he heads out and starts running.