Chapter 25 The Denied Value_1

Huai Shi opened his eyes and saw the afternoon light outside the window.

Dust particles were dancing chaotically in the dim light, having detached from the ceiling. The air was filled with a familiar musty smell, and the sound of dripping water from next door was audible.

This was his home.

After a surreal dream, he was lying on the broken sofa in the living room.

"Am I... still alive? How long have I slept?"

He clumsily got up, touching his chest, and saw that his wound was neatly bandaged. There was a dull pain, but amazingly, it wasn't impeding his movement.

Especially since he discovered that the Book of Fate had somehow transferred from its physical form into his will, able to be flipped through with just a thought.

Soon, he heard a voice by his side.

"Roughly ten or so hours, I guess. It seems you're recovering quite well."

The Teenage Girl sitting in front of the window lifted her head to look at him, her composure unsettling Huai Shi.

"What on earth happened last night? Right, Old Liu, Old Liu is..."

"Liu DongLi? Ah, he's alive. His surgery should have finished by now, and he's in the ICU... If he recovers well, there's a chance he might wake up. But none of this was your fault. If anything, it's a miracle to still be alive after being targeted by Green Day."

Ai Qing said calmly, "Although a lot happened last night and the mastermind behind it all got away... for you, it's all over now."

"It's over?"

"Yes, it's over." Ai Qing nodded, "Regardless, what happens next is no longer your concern. You won't have anyone watching you anymore."

She gazed at Huai Shi, solemnly telling him:

"Congratulations, you can return to your normal, peaceful life."

If Ai Qing had told him this yesterday, he would have been overjoyed, dancing with excitement. But now, receiving this news, he couldn't find any happiness at all.

There wasn't even an inkling of a pleasant reaction.

Ai Qing said nothing more, closed the book, and prepared to leave. After refusing Huai Shi's offer to see her out, she stood up with her cane to say goodbye.

"What's wrong?"

She noticed Huai Shi's dazed expression and tilted her head, "Is there something else you want to ask? If you're worried about Liu DongLi's car parked here, someone will drive it away after a couple of days. Don't worry, they'll call you before they come."

Huai Shi shook his head, looking at her, "These past days, I've actually been wondering where I've seen you before."

"..."

Ai Qing was silent. After a long pause, she calmly shook her head: "It doesn't matter if you can't remember. It's not important anyway. Just forget it."

She walked out the door, took one last look at Huai Shi, and nodded in farewell.

"Well, I need to leave immediately for Jinling to make my report. I wish you a smooth sailing life ahead, and I hope we won't meet again."

She said, "Farewell, Huai Shi."

The door closed.

In the silence, Huai Shi remained quietly watching as Ai Qing, aided by a driver, got into the car. The car door closed, and it slowly moved away until it disappeared at the end of the road.

.

.

All afternoon, Huai Shi sat on the garden steps, his old spot, staring blankly at the bare nursery.

"Feeling empty, right?"

The Raven appeared out of nowhere, perching on his shoulder and patting his head, "Don't be sad. Here, want a smoke to relax?"

If that doesn't work, buy a bottle of alcohol, have a few swigs, sleep it off, and everything will be over."

"Everything's over?"

Huai Shi looked at her.

"Yes, it's over," The Raven said nonchalantly, "Isn't it all finished, Huai Shi? Just as you wished, you've escaped from all those messy affairs, and reclaimed the peaceful life you've longed for."

Huai Shi didn't respond.

Is it over?

Perhaps, but the sense of relief he had anticipated hadn't come.

Far from feeling unburdened, he felt an inexplicable anger rising from within... nothing was truly finished.

He suddenly remembered Old Yang's face.

In that final moment, the bastard looked at him with a smile, as if he was about to be freed by death.

But nothing was truly freed; he merely traded his life for someone else's - would that woman saved by him even be happy?

What was he so smug about?

And now, Liu DongLi was lying in the ICU.

Huai Shi once thought they were friends. But now, among them, one had been shot by him from behind; another had shot him from behind.

He had lost two friends.

And the instigator of all this had escaped scot-free...

"How can it just suddenly end?"

He lifted his hand to cover his face, unable to hold back his anger and fatigue, "Damn it..."

The Raven looked at him with pity.

This was the first time she had seen Huai Shi this angry.

Besides, it seemed like no matter what happened, he would just collapse helplessly to the ground, letting the chaotic wheels of fate roll over him like an old salted fish.

Naturally mellow temperament.

Let him be strong; I'm content either way.

But she always felt that Huai Shi was lacking something, covering something up, or... trying to hide something.

Only now did she vaguely understand that perhaps this empty garden was where he felt most at ease, where he could truly confront himself.

Even though his heart so resolutely resisted this place—

"I say, Huai Shi," she asked seriously, "does this place mean something special to you?"

"Maybe..."

Huai Shi looked down at the small garden below the steps, silent for a long time.

"If you don't want to talk about it, pretend I never asked," The Raven shook her head, "After all, prying into someone's privacy isn't very dignified."

"No, there's no need to hide anything now, I was just thinking about how to tell you," Huai Shi rubbed his face, pondered for a while, and spoke in earnest.

He said, "When I was little, I once came down with a high fever."

"At that time my parents were angry because they were overseas having fun, and I hadn't looked after myself well, causing them worry, so they sent me money to go to the hospital by myself.

But I was too tired and uncomfortable, so I didn't go. I just fell asleep on the sofa in the living room instead."

Huai Shi said, "I remember at that time I had many strange dreams, dreaming I had grown wings and was flying in the sky, dreaming that this old house could talk, wiping my sweat and pouring water for me. Later, I heard the sound of someone climbing over the wall, someone who had entered through the backyard, face covered, holding a knife in hand... I hid behind the door, too afraid to speak."

"I was terrified that if that person found me, I might die."

"I didn't want to die."

Gazing at the mound of earth, he murmured softly, "So I killed him."

"..."

Raven was stunned, turning back to look at Huai Shi's face, but found no trace of jest, only an unsettling calm.

"That's right."

Huai Shi calmly repeated, "I killed him."

Hidden behind the door, with an axe in hand, as the person entered, I aimed for the back of his head and swung down.

It took just one strike, and the person fell.

Then another, and another, until I had no strength left.

After realizing the person couldn't move anymore, I first felt numb, then uneasy and frantic, and finally, there emerged a courage that even I feared.

In the haze of a high fever, I dragged the body into the garden, dug up the ground, and quietly buried it there, the axe along with it.

I covered the hole with soil and cleaned my hands, then went back to bed.

As if nothing had happened.

After all, Stone Marrow Pavilion was so remote, no one would come; after all, my parents were so lazy, they wouldn't tend to the garden; after all, no one would find out that I'd killed someone.

Thus, I fell asleep amidst fear, had many more strange dreams, but I remembered none of them afterward, and along with some previous memories, when I awoke, the high fever had incredibly subsided.

But from that moment on, Huai Shi's childhood was over.

From then on, day by day, year by year.

"Thinking about it carefully, I must be incredibly fortunate, right?"

Huai Shi said softly, "At first, I was scared that someone would come to arrest me, that someone would discover what I had buried in the garden, but it seems like up until now, no one has discovered it...

If I hadn't concealed it back then, things wouldn't be so hard now, no, if I had been killed back then, I wouldn't be living like this now, living in a way I can't even stand to look at."

"...Actually, you don't need to torture yourself."

Raven couldn't help but sigh: "Have you ever considered such a possibility? Maybe it was just one of the nightmares you had while you were feverish."

"Yeah, maybe?"

Huai Shi nodded calmly, "I've bought shovels so many times, but I've lost them just as many times.

Every time I stand here, I hesitate, afraid of what might be hidden beneath. Actually, I'm not afraid of digging up a body, but I'm afraid of the truth."

"If I dig this up," he said, "then I can't deceive myself anymore—after that, how could I return to my peaceful life?"

He paused, then began to chuckle softly: "I originally thought I would spend my life deluding myself."

"—Now it seems, there's no need to fear anything anymore."

Saying this, Huai Shi picked up the rusty iron pick from the corner, returned to the center of the garden, and found the initial marker, standing firm.

Then, the first shovel of soil was lifted.

Raven was astonished.

Then the second shovel, the third shovel.

Huai Shi's movements were swift, even as the wound under his bandage split and blood oozed out, without any hesitation.

He chopped away the troublesome wild grass, shoveled out the root system beneath the ground, and unearthed the soil and mud burying nightmares.

Sweat fell like rain.

"You know, right? About the situation at my home..."

With his back to Raven, Huai Shi spoke to her and also seemed to be talking to himself, "I'm actually very aware that since I was born, my parents never liked me. After grandfather died, they stopped caring altogether—they simply didn't need me.

When they were around, I was like an inconvenient burden. After they left, I became a homeless stray dog. Just like that, patching up here and patching up there, scrabbling through the years.

Now, if I can't make money, not only will I be unable to pay for school, but I won't even be able to survive... I feel like such a life is worthless.

Honestly, I often wonder why I should bother with this exhausting life?

It's always this miserable; struggling seems pointless, and sometimes I get mocked and looked down upon. Wouldn't it be easier to just give up occasionally?

But even if I'm feeling down, even if it's hard, I believe I can hold on. It doesn't matter if occasionally I have to sell my dignity, I won't get angry.

Because I know, as long as I keep moving forward, everything will get better.

Even if the changes are negligible.

There are people like Old Yang, who are willing to refer jobs to me specifically, sometimes finding excuses to give me extra money, and there's Old Liu, who is willing to feed me and clean up the troubles I cause in the club, and even if shot in the back, he thinks about letting me escape when it's dangerous...

Doesn't that prove there is value in my life?"

Huai Shi asked softly, but no one replied to his words. Sweat dripped from his face and fell into the pit that had been dug up.

"But now—"

He lowered his eyes, lifted the iron pick again, digging with all his might.

As if to shatter the hideous face from his memories.

"My worth has been denied!"

Clang!

The shovel seemed to hit something, creating a huge fissure, but there was nothing to be seen in the pit—no body, no skeleton, nothing at all.

Only the scattered glow of the setting sun faintly outlined a cruel shape.

Just like an axe.

Huai Shi bent over, reached out, and grasped its handle.

He said:

"—I'm going to kill him."

Under the setting sun, Raven stared in shock at the silhouette in Huai Shi's hand—pure Source Substance forged into invisible iron, burning rage and cold killing intent mixed together, casting a cruel light.

It was the murderous intent and death that had been dormant for seven years, given substance by nightmares and fear, forged into a steel armor.

It was as if he had grasped a spark; in that instant, Huai Shi's right hand was ignited by that invisible power, rising up in white flames.

Revealing its true form from the depths of silence.

"So that's how it is, that's it, huh..."

She murmured softly, an epiphany dawning on her, finally understanding what was happening to Huai Shi at this moment.

He had broken through the barrier between spirit and matter, achieved the transformation between iron and Source Substance...

After seven years, Huai Shi had finally crossed the long period of stress reaction and, in the burning of Source Substance, his nature was sublimated to welcome his own soul.

It was the unique soul name bestowed by the Sea of Silver at the very end.

—'Hand of Confinement'!