2 One

Golden rays of radioactive particles peer into the wooden frames, illuminating a delicate silhouette that lays upon soft silk. Her hair, as dark as the night, glimmers like pearls in the morning sun. The maiden's rose lips are slightly parted, revealing a soft crimson piece of tissue. Possessing a figure as elegant as a swan, her eyes slowly blink open, as those delicate lashes fan up and down, droplets of tears still on them, creating a beautiful scene. As the maiden opens her eyes, slanted like a cat's, a clear abyss appears, like a black hole, swallowing everything around it. Her small nose, straight brows and slightly-chubby face resembles a little flower waiting to be plucked. Sleep deprived, she looks around curiously, then buries her face back into the tough pillow scented with lavender.

"Ah! Hard... Wait. Lavender...?"

The beauty jolts up from her sleep, now awake and aware. Her once-infocused eyes now sharp as a blade, piercing and dangerous. A sudden breeze carries a clean scent into the room, blowing the tulle bed curtains to graze her clear skin, flushed from the heat of the morning rays.

"Where...?"

A wooden table, two small wooden stools, an exquisite blue porcelain tea set, and a vast, lavishly decorated room filled with jade, silks and golden embroidery. Below her was a large rosewood bed, cushioned with silver-lined-embrodiered silk and delicately crafted sheer curtains. Hints of brown, green, gold and white enters her sight as she takes in her surroundings. Catching the notes of lavender and a grassy aroma lingering in the air, pots of freshly watered planted still frolicking with dew eneters her sight.

"No, actually, where the fudge am I?"

At this point, our beauty is very, very, extremely baffled. Her shoulders drooping, she looks at herself, and her eyes widen. Adorned with a plain red robe whose seamless crafting betrayed its simplicity, her raven tresses laid to her slender waist. She raises a hand, and sees un-callused hands of a young girl. Bewildered, the girl pinches her cheeks and feels something like marshmallows.

"Woah...I'm so... soft and fair... like tofu..."

Sitting as dazed as the day her mother abandoned her, Ruan Lan Wei tried to collect her thoughts. Suddenly, wafting into the room was the scent of freshly brewed jasmine green tea, with a hint of mint. Her eyes brightened, and her mind forgot whatever it was doing: 'Tea!'

A young girl seeming to be at the tender age of 12 or 13 gracefully carries a tray into the room, her head lowered and gaze averted, yet back straight and steps obviously well-trained.

"Young Miss - Young Miss has woken up, nubi shall place Miss's favorite jasmine tea here", her gaze drifts towards the person on the bed briefly, eyes flickering with surprise, "Please excuse this servant".

The young girl retreated, taking the same controlled steps, leaving the room. Lan Wei had been observing the girl ever since she sensed the soft footsteps, her gaze narrowed, then scoffed, her cheeks puffing up. She picked up the cup of tea and blew on it three times, then took a sip.

"Blegh! What's up with this tea? So bitter!"

She threw the cup back into the tray with a flick of her wrists, landing it where its orgianl position was with a light clang. Lan Wei rested her head on one hand, as she tapped the bed frame with the other, perfectly trimmed and clean, pink nails making a crisp rhythm on the wood. The elegant silhouette exuded a seductive, yet innocent charm. Her slanted eyes gave off an aura of laziness, yet beneath them lay astuteness.

"Hmmm...so it seems, I'm not in that corrupted miser's house anymore huh".

Petal-like lips curved into a light smile, brightening up the room. Lan Wei slowly pulled herself off the bed, fighting the urge to go back to sleep, and trailed around her new habitat, observing, asserting, and recording. Soon, she found a round copper mirror, one that wasn't too good at reflecting.

"Well, this will do".

In the blurred surface of the transition metal with the symbol [Cu], she finally confirmed her suspicions. The person in the mirror smiled, then her expression froze, and she let out a long sigh. Lan Wei sat down on the chair the vanity provided, kneaded her cheeks a few times, then sighed again. She then proceeded to cover her face with her hands, took a few deep breaths, and uncovered them again. A big, fat, creepy smile was drawn onto that innocent face.

"Ahahahahahahaha! Yes! Whoohoo! Finally!"

She shot up, ran to the bed, and jumped onto it with a thump! Hugging the body pillow, she buried her face into it and rolled around frantically, like a dog.

"Even though these wacky pillows are totally hard and painful compared to that old man's, this is 10 times better than being stuck with him!"

Letting out a few more squeals, Lan Wei finally settled. Her breath slightly shallow, she wiped the smile unsuitable for such a face off her mind, as she starts assessing her assets.

"Hmm...good, good! Adequate size and shape! Nice proportions! Not malnourished... Ooh! What first-class quality wagyu!"

Satisfied, she starts humming, got up, and stretched a little bit.

"Little beauty ah~ this laobai doesn't know who you are and where you're from, but now that you're gone, youre mine ah~ Ufufufufu~ Beautiful creatures are the best to look at!"

Suddenly, the sounds of doors being pushed open assaulted Lan Wei's good mood. Clicking her tongue, her brows immediately furrowed as she raised her guard.

"Who's there?!"

Dare to disturb my happy time!

"Su Qing Qing! Until when are you going to sleep!"

"Huh? Su..."

"Dare to pretend? Do you know what time it is? Sleep, sleep, sleep! All you know is sleep and gawking over that sissy snow white prince! What's so good about him when I, your father, is obviously better than that muscle-less boy in many - no - all ways!"

"Muslce brain... Sissy prince..."

"Qing~ Qing~ Give your father some attention~ I've returned for 3 days already! Why are you giving me the cold shoulder... Is it because I refused to let you be engaged to that brat?"

"Engagement..."

"What's so good about that stupid Second Prince! He's not even the First Prince and he's cocky! Unlike his gentlemen brother! That Long Tian Feng! See?! Even his name is so cringey and pretentious! Blegh!"

"Long... Long Tian Feng...??!"

"Qing Qing?"

"Daughter Complex Muscle-brain. Su Daddy's Girl Qing. Long Snow White Feng. Failed Engagement".

"Qing Qing? Qing Qing? Are you sick?? Shall I ask that old man to get you an Imperial Physician? Are you dying? Qing'er! I'm going to call an Imperial Physican!"

Her left eye twitching, Lan Wei snapped back to reality.

"No. I'm fine daddy~ Just sit down okay? Don't go doing stu— I mean, unnecessary things okay?"

Flashing a sweet smile, Lan Wei turned back around to gather her thoughts as she sees the General Su Heng sit down, docile, having been K.O.-ed by his sweet daughter's smile after being ignored for days. He didn't notice how his daughter Qing Qing kept mumbing things under her breath, or how her face crumpled up violently once in a while, or how her fists were clenched so hard blood nearly spilled.

"Grass. Mud. Horses. Chocolate Fudge. Mapo Tofu. Soft boiled eggs. Braised fish in soy sauce. Condensed milk. Green tea. Black tea. Tapioca milk tea. Nurungi. For the love of gayness — I'm in a god-damned web novel!"

And the world ended.

P.S. jk.

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