2 Tranquility in darkness

Darkness

Total darkness

The feeling of being alone in itself is scary. I tried to look around me figuring out where am I. I feel like I have been asleep for a long time. I tried opening my eyes but there's only total darkness. Did I become blind? I tried remembering the last events that happened but I only seem to remember bits and pieces of fragmented memories that pass through my consciousness. Sadness starts to envelop me and it seems my mind just want to forget everything. However, the feeling of someone whispering words of encouragement beside me has given me hope. I must survive and strive hard to live.

I tried moving but it seems I don't have any senses. I tried focusing to the extent that I can just try to move a finger however that was also proven useless. Was I in a vegetative state? I feel like I'm floating in a never-ending abyss. No matter what I should not give up.

Whatever or wherever I might be, as long as I still have my consciousness then I should never give up.

Yes, that is right! That was the last thing my mother has told me.

I don't know how long I've been floating as just my consciousness.

Time seems to elude me but I still persist.

I don't know how long time has passed but I can suddenly feel a small light. It was like a beacon calling my existence so I followed it with all my willpower. I guess this is how fishermen feel when they were stuck at sea from all the stormy weather and finding a beacon of light from a lighthouse. Finally, it seems someone is calling me from the other side and when I reached it I felt warm and comfortable. It was like I was back in my mothers' embrace. I closed my eyes to feel this warmth that I have not felt for a long time.

"Madam, you have given birth to a baby boy."

The madam looked at her baby with warmth and love. She can feel the breath of the baby while sleeping peacefully.

"Bertha how come, my baby, is not crying?" said the Madam.

"Most babies do cry when they have been born however the baby seems fine Madam. I will call Doctor Fern to check and make sure everything is okay. Excuse me." said Bertha.

"Okay Bertha, and do call my husband. He must have been worried" said Madam.

Loud stamps on the floor could be heard. A sudden bang and the door swung open.

"Honey not so loud our baby is sleeping."

"Our baby Maximilian he looks just like you. Where's Alicia?

She should meet her baby brother."

A dashing little girl with blond hair locks and chubby blushing cheeks appeared behind her father peering at his little brother with her inquisitive green eyes.

"Alicia come here." says her Mother.

"Mother why does he look like a wrinkly old man, like grandpa!" said Alicia.

"Hush silly girl your brother has only been born, all babies look like that even you." Madam smiled kindly to the little girl then look at her baby boy with the same love.

The little girl giggled and laughed at her mother's words. Her laughter was like the twinkling of bells. The people around looked at the little girl with smiles on their faces. It can be seen that they have doted on the little girl like family.

"Mother how can you tell father that he looks like Max when you say all babies look the same when they are young." Alicia's laughter was contagious as the elderly around them also smiled at what the mischievous girl has said. Her mother smiled wryly at her words thinking how her little daughter at the age of 5 could be so smart with her arguments.

I who have heard the merry laughter all around woke up from my slumber. Trying to open my eyes but the brightness seems to hurt my eyes so I tried to squint slowly figuring out what the commotion is all about.

"It looks like Max has woken up from all the noise we are making," Father said. He looked proud while looking at Max, his first baby boy.

"Isn't he adorable looking like that, I think he is trying to figure out who we are." Mother said while smiling.

"Madam we are going outside so we don't disturb Max if you need anything we will be staying right by the door." Bertha bowed and slowly left the door with the other maid.

As I heard the people talking with words I am not familiar with I try to move my head slowly from side to side figuring where I was. While looking around I saw an adorable young girl beaming at me full of smiles. She was adorable as a doll with her features. I wonder who she was or if she was related to me. From another side, there is a well-built man looming at me like a giant and his beard covering most of his face. I think he is my father from the way his doting face and soft mutterings are trying to calm my beating heart. Looking at the side is a mature woman who is holding me looking kindly with a soft smile at her face. Her features are similar to the young child beaming with smiles. I guess she will become a beauty like her when she grows up.

I was able to figure out that this was not the same place that I was born with. I don't know if I am still the same world but their outfits seem so different from modern times. Theirs look more of noble people which I've read from fairy tales from my childhood.

As I was looking at them and they looking at me tears suddenly stream down my cheeks. I was not crying out loud however these tears seem to keep coming out from my eyes. Now it was all real, my family that I have loved and cherished is really gone. Mother and Janet are both dead and I have reincarnated in a different place as them. I will not be able to see their smiles, I will not be able to feel their warmth and I will not be able to feel their love. My heart starts to ache with these thoughts. I who is faced with my new family is having a sense of longing for my other family.

My new family seems to be saying something while tears stream down my face but I was not able to pay attention to them right now as I reminisce the last few moments I have spent with my family. I was only a high school student in my past life and I was still very dependent on my doting mother. Her cooking that always fills my heart and soul. My little sister who is used to following me and asking me to read her stories at night before she went to sleep.

Yes, they are now nothing more than memories because never again will I see them. All I can do is pray in my heart, pray to any being or higher power who will listen and tell them to protect my family. May they be reborn into having better lives, may they always be blessed with happiness and may they not suffer any hardship as they did their past life. I was never a devout believer but right now I wanted to believe in a higher power that will be able to answer my wishes. It was all wishful thinking on my part but this was all I can do at the moment. Sadness seeps into my soul and my brain does not seem to want to process the voices that are buzzing in my ears.

I suddenly felt tired, so tired that I closed my half-open crying eyes. I just wanted to sleep and not do anything. I wanted to sleep and not think of anything.

As these thoughts kept repeating inside my head I was finally able to fall asleep.

Hoping and wishing that in my dreams I can see my family one last time and experience happiness with them. I would also like to thank my mother for all the support she gave me and my sister, her never-ending love trying to give me and my sister a better life even though she was alone. These words that I was never able to express will forever be buried in my heart. I always thought I had plenty of time to express everything but it seems my heart will forever be filled with regrets.

My mind was again drifting into darkness and nothingness but this time I did not mind it. Instead, I welcomed it with open arms as it gave me peace and comfort.