16 A Confession

Aunt Amber took a sip from her drink to clear her throat. "So who's the patient?"

Charlie sighs. "No one".

"Then why are you guys here?" She asks.

I perceive a great befuddlement in the way she stares at me, and no sign that she recognizes me. The moment I woke up I saw her glaring at me. But the next moment I smiled, she looked away. She said that she didn't want to wake me up cause I looked tired. That's the only thing she said to me since morning. We haven't talked yet properly. She behaved as if we never met. She's acting weirdly but I don't know why she would do that. Its been six years already. Maybe it was hard for her to call to mind as I've grown up.

Certainly, that's the only reason she couldn't recall. How dumb of me? Now I'm not a little kid anymore but an adult. I know if I tell her about me... about dad, she'll wrap me in her arms right away.

I stand up and walk towards her. "Aunt Amber, don't you remember Edmund? That little Ed. I'm sure you do know, right?"

"Who's Edmund?" she asks.

I fear she may have muddled the question.

"You're kidding, right?" as I ask her this I feel my heart beginning to race.

"Of course not", she looks away, emptiness crossing her features.

"Why are you lying? Don't say you don't even remember my dad please". She still doesn't look at me. "You don't even remember the notebook you left for me?"

"What notebook?"

I cannot adequately describe the intensity of what I'm feeling right now. Love, anger, sadness, hope, and fear, whirling together sharpen by the nervousness I'm feeling.

I search for the notebook. I look under the bed, over the table and every corner of this small space.

"Give me the keys. Maybe I left it in the car", I say Charlie as I put on my coat.

He passes me the keys. I frantically reach the spot were we parked the car. I search my seat, and below it. I look up at the backseat.

Nowhere.

Where did I put it I don't remember. I can't lose it. Without it, there is no way I can make her believe me. I'm off-balance on my toes; the world is swaying dangerously under me. I see Aunt Amber and Charlie approaching me.

"You didn't find it?" Charlie asks, holding me up.

I tense up. And force myself to shake my head. I would want to strangle me right now.

"What was that like?" Aunt asks as she stands in front of me.

I tell her about the notebook. About the photo and all those things inside it. I can see her face getting full of sympathetic instead of cheerful. She doesn't remember a bit of it. She doesn't remember dad. Not even me. Not even our little alluring moments. I get back inside the car and glare at her. I send her my goodbye. For once I could see a bit of sadness in her eyes.

"Goodbye son. If you guys face problems or need medicines do come", she smiles.

No. I'm not cursing my fate anymore. Neither I'm angry or sad. I can't express what I'm feeling right now. But maybe at least I'm happy to see her alive. I'm happy for being called son by him.

Charlie hops onto the car and start the engine. This is where the journey of notebook ends maybe.

I take out my yellow music player, and look outside through the window. I look up at the bright sky, wondering if I'll catch a glimpse of hope there, but I don't. I probably shouldn't be looking up at them. What I should be looking at is inside of me. Like staring down into a deep well. Can I see any hope there? No, all I see is my own nature. Disappointed, hopeless individual who oftens doubt himself. I smile.

"Why are you smiling though?" I hear Charlie ask.

I turn towards him. "Nothing else I can do, right?" I smile again. "I feel happy".

"What you felt seemed literal heart-break, Ed"

"She called me son. How can I not feel happy, Charlie?"

He smiles. "But I still didn't get it. Why doesn't she remember anything?"

"We never know what vampires can do, right?" I sigh.

"What do you mean?" he asks after wondering for a long time.

"I'll explain later. Take me to Elora's apartment", I say as I text her that I'm coming.

She replies back immediately : 'I'll be waiting'.

Oh.

She fixed up her phone's keyboard.

I'm at her doorstep. Charlie had some work so he left. I ring the doorbell, and she immediately opens the door. She looks up at me and smiles. Seeing her smiling cause me to smile at her too. She jumps into my arms causing me to lose balance and almost fall over the ground but instantly hold onto the wall behind me.

Damn, I missed her.

"You know what I was watching a horror movie with Ava. And that was hella scary. I grabbed onto a pillow and was hiding my eyes every time a scary part came. Seriously I just realized I hate horror movies. And I hate people who watch horror movies and I hate people who don't hate people who watch horror movies", she says while letting me get inside her apartment.

"So you hate me too", I tease her.

"Ugh! No that's not what I meant. I was just explaining how much I hate horror movies", she groans, and passes me a glass of water.

I'll let her know about aunt Amber tomorrow. I just got here, right? For now I just want to spend some time with her.

I thought 'I missed you' would be the first thing she would say when we meet. Every time she does something unpredictable and that makes me fall for her more. I like her being unique.

Well everyone is different and unique in their own way, right?

She sits in front of me. "I got a question", she says with a stern look.

"I'm really not up for answering any questions that starts with how, when, where, why and what". Just after saying that I see a sudden disappointment in her face. But not for longer.

"Do you love me?" She asks smiling.

I chuckle. I take a few deep breaths for a confession.

I pat on her head and nod. "Yes. I do", I say quietly. "I'm in love with you, Elora. I can't fall asleep, cause I realized reality seems better than dreams. I want to tell you how much I love your voice when you talk, how I love it when your hair falls down on your cheek and you tuck it back behind your ear, how I love it when you hold my hand and wrap your arms around me, how badly my heart skips a beat when I see you being sad. I want to tell you how badly I want to see you everyday from the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep. I want to make you happy for every single moment we spend for the rest of my life", I say as I lean towards her to give a kiss but she hugs me.

After a while I try to lean backward but she refuses to detach herself from me.

"Just a little longer. It feels good.", she whispers. "I love you more than anything".

I rest my chin on her shoulder. Her hair smells nice though. I can feel her heart pounding and her... sobbing.

I pat on her head again. Maybe she doesn't want me to see her cry or sob.

I suddenly feel scared. Scared of losing her.

I know how it feels to love someone. Whatever you do, you can't turn away from your feelings. You can't stop yourself from loving her.

I just can't stop. No matter what happened in the past or what happens in the future, I just want her to stay by my side.

For my heart tells me this is the best and greatest feeling I have ever had.

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