1 Love, Lost & Found

Baragaon - Shimla, India

She had been invited to Baragaon to address the senior grades regarding the subject she was passionate about – ‘Empathy towards all Genders.’ Gender equality was still a distant dream in the big and small villages and towns in India. But the issue had had a direct impact on her life and she was determined to do everything in her capacity to address it. It was the only thing left to do in life, besides.....

She had finished her session in the early part of the day, when the children's minds were fresh and they could grasp what she was attempting to tell them. As she sat in the staff room, sipping her cup of tea, wondering what she would do with the rest of the day, the Principal of the school walked in. He wanted to thank her for coming to address the children.

"There is a very nice Shiv temple here. It's called the Brahmeshwar Mahadev Temple. It's a must visit for tourists. If it is OK with you, I'll ask my driver to take you there. And then you can see the town market and some other interesting places too," he suggested politely.

"Yes... definitely. I would love to visit the temple. What time is my car expected to leave for Shimla?" she asked.

"Oh, that's at 6:30 p.m. My wife and I will escort you," he said.

Shivani thanked him and rose to go to the car. The temple was some distance away from the village. It was a simple structure, resting in a valley, bracketed on one side by the steep raising face of the hill and on the other, by the steep fall into the valley below. It seemed the tiny plateau in between the climb and the valley had been used to build this temple.

Outside the temple, there were a few small shops, selling the usual pooja thali (plate of offerings for prayers) including milk, bel leaves, ghee, flowers, etc. Songs on Lord Shiv reverberated the air, making the atmosphere pious and divine. One could feel the presence of a higher force there.

As Shivani entered the premises, her heart couldn't help but think of Mrityunjay. Her eyes welled up automatically. Prayer? She had no prayers.... her mind was too numb with pain to ask for anything. She walked blankly towards the inner sanctum, as a child would walk to a parent in times of grief.

It had been a rather cloudy day and as Shivani emerged from the temple, a dense fog was coming over the temple from the top of the hill. As she was walking carefully in the direction of the shops, the top of the hill began to be visible again, slowly. She glanced to her right, to the fog, as it showed signs of clearing up. She could see the contours of what seemed like a man, emerging from the fog.

Someone was walking down towards the temple from the top of the hill. It was a fascinating sight to watch. As the man emerged slowly from the fog, Shivani stopped in her tracks to observe the tall, lean figure coming towards.... her. As he came closer, his head bent down, his form seemed strangely familiar. He had come down a few more paces and Shivani could now see his features, somewhat hazily, due to the receding fog.

Her heart somersaulted in her chest, as her breath quickened. She was so shocked that the plate with her offerings, that she held in her hands, dropped down. Just then, there was some commotion at a shop nearby and Shivani turned to check what had happened. When she turned around to glimpse the approaching figure, he was gone.

Shivani ran forward in panic, turning around to search for Mrityunjay, but he was nowhere to be found. She clutched her fore head, spinning around, trying to hunt all around the small group of people who descended the hill; no sight of him. It was as if he had vanished into thin air.

The tears that sprang out of her eyes, were not in her control. There, right there, after all that time, just for a few nano seconds, she had actually seen him and then he was gone. Perhaps, she was going mad.

With a heavy heart, she went back to her car. She didn't know what to do, where to go. She felt like the loneliest person in the whole wide world.

The driver sensed something was wrong. When madam had gone into the temple, she was normal. But now, she looked distraught, trying hard to hide her tears. He wondered what had happened. He had been instructed to take her to the market and he intended to follow the instruction. 10 minutes later, they arrived at the fair.

"Madam, market," he said, eyeing her strangely.

Shivani didn't bother to answer him and simply got out of the car. She looked all around herself, taking in the sights and sounds. It seemed to be a farmers' market, with the farmers lining up their produce and the buyers haggling for a bargain. She had no interest in what was happening. Her mind played his image over and over again. Why had she turned around, why didn't she just run into his arms? She cursed herself, as tears streamed down her face.

Shivani walked around aimlessly, not knowing what she was looking for. She found a man, selling flowers on an old tractor and stood there, admiring the way he had arranged all those flowers. She had once arranged flowers in a small

pot, at the stables. Her mind went back to that time all those years ago, when Mrityunjay and she had still been strangers to each other.

She snapped back into the present when she heard a small child cry. The child it seemed, was crying for a toy, that her mother refused to buy. The kid was throwing a fit, pestering the mother for the toy. As the mother dragged the child away, she saw a man with lots of balloons approach the child and hand them over to her. The child, tugged at his arm, as the mother smiled on. He bent over.... and Shivani jumped in her skin.

He was closer to her than before. She walked across to him as though in a trance. She forgot that she was in the market and that there were people all around her; nothing mattered except the man in front of her. Shivani knew only one thing, that she had to get to him...... at all costs.