3 Before A Peak Into The Past

Mrityunjai separated Shivani from himself and looked at her limp form. He patted her gently on her cheeks, calling out to her tenderly. Her pulse seemed normal.He held her close to him, not finding the need to hide his tears anymore.

He recovered in a few seconds, lifting her up carefully. He clutched her close, as though fearing losing her again and took her back up to the guest room. He lay her down slowly on the bed and covered her with a blanket. He came around to the other side and sat down next to Shivani, watching her as she slept, unconscious. Mrityunjay did not realise when he'd dozed off.

He woke up with a start, at the sudden, unusual sound, he had heard. Instinctively, his eyes moved to Shivani, lying down next to him. That's when he realized what was happening. Shivani was moaning in her sleep, trying to say something. And then he heard the blood curdling scream. She had gone into fetal position and was screaming in fear and then the spasm started, as she began shivering uncontrollably.

Mrityunjay ran and brought some more blankets from the room next door and wrapped them around her. He tried rubbing her palm and feet, but nothing seemed to be working. He picked her up, removing his shirt and held her close to his body. Shivani's hand felt cold and numb. At the contact with his warm body, she opened her eyes and looked at him. "Shivani," his voice choked with emotions that he didn't want to show, wondering in his mind what had happened to her.

"Mrityunjay," she whispered his name, as though she couldn't get enough of saying it. She tried to smile despite the obvious discomfort she was feeling. She hugged him hard, pressing herself into him. Mrityunjay rocked her gently, as the spasm subsided gradually. As Shivani became warm again, he tried to put her back on the bed. She held on tight, looking up into his face and said, "No!" Mrityunjay smiled at her, kissing her forehead. He brought her close and rocked her back to sleep gently,in the processing going off to sleep himself.

Next Morning

Mrityunjai got up to an empty bed. He did not realize when he had dozed off as he rocked Shivani to sleep. He looked all around the room. There was no trace of her. He quickly got out of bed and ran down. He found her in the kitchen, as she searched through the cabinets looking for something. He felt himself breath again.

"What are you looking for here?" he asked, startling Shivani. She smiled at him as he came over, filling her in his arms.

"Just the usual, looking for tea and sugar," she told him, the smile of her face reflecting in her eyes. She drew in a deep breath, resting her head on his chest.

"How are you feeling?" he asked her, sounding concerned. Shivani tore away from him and looked away . "Much better," she said going to the next set of cabinets. Mrityunjay picked out the jars of Tea and sugar from a shelf above and put it on the platform. She looked at him, smiling again.

"Did you have a nightmare?" he asked coming over to her, as she put the kettle on the hob. Mrityunjay studied Shivani intently. She stopped what she was doing and looked at him. He knew instantly, something was wrong. "Hmm," she said, looking away. She was no longer sure of herself.

"What's happened Shivani?" he asked, sounding serious. The tone in his voice pulled her attention back onto his face. He saw her draw in a deep breath. "I've been having problems, sleeping at nights," she said, returning back to the tea.

Mrityunjai looked at her suspecting there was more to it. "For how long?" he asked, studying her. "Oh ho, will you please let me concentrate on making tea," she admonished him in mock anger.

Mrityunjai yanked her around to face him. She could tell he was agitated. "For how long?" he asked again. She looked away, as the tears welled up in her eyes. "From the time... you've...." her voice choked just a bit. "I... I get nightmares.... almost every night....its ...its horrible," she said, unable to hold back, going into his arms as he held her hard.

What had he done to her? She had been so happy, so full of life, vivacious. And for the sin of falling in love with him, this is the price she had had to pay. Mrityunjay was ashamed of himself. Could there ever be an escape for him? He stormed out of the kitchen, leaving Shivani behind. She knew better than to stop him. She also knew he would not stay away long.

He went to his his small studio a couple of Kilometers away in the woods. His sancutary, that he had built from scratch. It was the studio, where he had spent the days and nights of the past 3 years, painting her in her many myriad forms, some abstract, some, excellent portraits. As he stood, surrounded by her portraits on all sides, his mind raced back to that fateful day 3 years ago.

Mrityunjai knelt down and closed his eyes, as he had often done these past 3 years and relived some of the most painful moments of his life, all over again.

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