3 Chapter Three

"Anyways... What are you doing?" Collin asks as if everything is normal between them. He smiles at him and smirks at Matthew's reaction. What the... how can he act so normal after telling me something like that?

"I...Collin... are you..."Matthew asks, hesitating to even finish the question. Is he? No, he can't be, right? Or can he? There is no way... right?

"Am I what?" Collin asks getting closer to Matthew. Heat rises to Matthew's checks feeling uncomfortable having Collin this close.

"Umm... nevermind. Umm... I'm just composing an original piece of music." Just pretend that didn't happen and you'll be fine. Just breathe in and breathe out.

"Really?" Collin asks with a hint of curiosity in his voice, "What's the name of the piece?"

"It's called 'It's going to be okay'," Matthew answers quickly hoping he will be uninterested and leave but if anything he seemed more and more drawn into knowing more.

"What is it about?" Collin asks getting close enough that their legs are touching each other. The touch has Matthew's throat in a knot, feeling nervous and a bit speechless but tries to continue.

"Umm... It's a song that is supposed to make you feel better when you are down. It starts sad, to a point where you can hear all the pain the person is going through but as the song goes on it gets happier and happier. The point is to show that no matter how much pain you go through, you can still get back up and be happy." Matthew then looks at Collin to see what he thinks and sees that Collin is smiling which sends him comfort that his idea is not that bad.

"That sounds beautiful Matthew. Do you think I can hear you play the song once you're done?" Matthew thinks about for a bit but nods.

"Yes. I'll let you know when I'm done so that I can play it for you and Charlie." Matthew smiles, finally someone who understands that he doesn't like to perform until it's done.

The bell rings, finally the school was out and not only that but Collin and Matthew could finally go visit Charlie. As Matthew was heading out, as he was about to open the door of his truck, he feels someone pull him back causing him to fall on his butt in the middle of the parking lot. Matthew looks up to see who pull him down and not to his surprise it was Joshua.

"Matthew you better back off of Collin do you understand. I don't want anyone like you to rub off on him. People are starting to get the wrong idea about Collin and I don't want anyone to think less of him just because someone like you is around him."

Matthew was confused, what does he mean people like me? Joshua still standing above him waits for Matthew to respond but Matthew doesn't say anything. Joshua gets frustrated and grabs Matthew's shirt, pulls him up, and pushes him against Matthew's truck a few inches above Joshua's height, which scared him since Joshua was 6ft 7inches. How in the world can he carry me without showing a sign of a struggle?

"Do you understand what I am trying to say f-slur?" Joshua says holding Matthew even tighter. Matthew feels his chest tighten at the name and doesn't even know what to say.

"Did... Did you just call me a... f-slur? Matthew asks terrified that Joshua will beat him senseless not caring what other people think.

"Yes, I did because that's what you are you f-slur. You better back off of Collin or you are going to find yourself with a black eye and a few missing teeth. Do you understand me?" Matthew nods, he would have stood up for himself but he knew he was no match. He hated that he was weak but he knew he had to say he would or he would never leave him alone.

"Good you better, if I find you anywhere near him again then it will be ten times worse than you can imagine." With that Joshua slowly sets Matthew down back on his feet, but when he was putting him down, Joshua accidentally touches Matthew's chest for a very long time. Matthew wanted to tell him to let him go but he was too afraid that Joshua would hit him for trying to tell him what to do. Joshua looks lost in thought, just looking into Matthew's green eyes. After a while Matthew looks away, not being able to look at him in the eyes anymore and Joshua snaps out of the trance.

"Sorry I spaced out. Well, I guess you didn't mind since you are..." but before Joshua was able to finish he hear someone call his name, they both look and see Collin. He was toward the other side of the parking lot, waving Joshua to come to him. "See you later f-slur." and with that Joshua leaves with Matthew shocked about what just happened.

Do I come off as not being straight? Even if I wasn't what's so bad with that? Why does sexual orientation even matter at all? Why should it change how people treat you? All of these thoughts were running through Matthew's head as he was driving to Charlie's house. He was confused about why he thought that and why it was such a bad thing. As he parks his truck in front of Charlie's house he hears his phone ring. Without looking who it is he picks up.

"Hello? How can I help you?" Matthew asks feeling confused about who would call him because no one ever talks to him on the phone.

"Hey, Matt can you tell Charlie I won't be able to make it to her house?" Matthew's heart skips a beat as he recognizes the voice, Collin. "I would go to visit her before my birthday party but something came up and I won't be able to make it. She is free to come to the party, just like she is invited to come over when she can but please let her know that I'm happy she is willing to come over and that I'll see her later tonight okay?" His heart is beating quickly but can answer somewhat with a normal voice.

"Yeah... I'll let her know" Matthew forces a voice instead of nodding like he usually does because Collin can't see him

"Awesome! Thanks, Matt you're the best. See you tonight and look nice. Wear something other than black okay? It's my birthday so please do." But before he could answer that Collin interrupts him "Tell Charlie I love her and that I miss her! Bye Matt, love ya dude." and with that Collin hangs up leaving Matthew speechless.

Time passes and Matthew and Charlie are in her room, finally, Matthew after explains what Collin had told him on the phone, all Charlie says is "Since when does he call you Matt?"

"Charlie? Is that the only thing you have to say?" Matthew shakes his head at her for not saying anything else. Charlie really could see the big deal of why Matthew was freaking out so much but apparently as his best friend she should.

"Well yeah I mean, I'm not mad at him I mean I understand that he can't come and..." but before she can even finish Matthew interrupts her.

"No Charlie that's... I mean... what he said to me." Matthew looks at her hoping that she knows what he means but she has no clue. She makes a confused expression but then thinks about what would bother him.

"To not wear black because it's his birthday? I mean Collin's right, you wear too much black and you should wear a different color, even if it's a dark blue it would probably make his and my day."

"No Charlie not that," Matthew shakes his head and just decides to tell her straight up. "He said 'bye Matt, love ya dude," He looks for any sign of understanding in Charlie's face but all she does is sit there looking at him on thinking why it's such a big deal. "Well Charlie, first of all, he has never called me Matt before, two he has never told me he loved me and three..." Matthew hesitates which finally brings Charlie's attention to the conversation.

"Three? What do you mean by three?" Charlie asks with curiosity.

"Umm... Well, today he has been close to me physically." Charlie internally freaks out but tries to calm down.

"Physically?" Her wide smile made Matthew a bit confused but Charlie was internally hoping that Matthew and Collin realized their feelings for each other

Yeah I mean.... when I accidentally bumped into him in lunch when I was leaving the art room, in lunch again in the library when he whispers in my ear to repeat which book I wanted to help me get it down. Then again when he handed it to me and our fingertips touched and he didn't let go until Joshua called out for him. Oh and in Orchestra when..." Matthew cuts himself off, only making Charlie more and more intrigued that maybe, just maybe Collin and Matthew would realize that they like each other.

"What happened in Orchestra." Matthew blushes, heat rising to his cheeks at the events that happened. Charlie smiles even more and internally reminds herself to thank Collin for finally making a move on Matthew.

"He... He... I was sitting in my usual corner writing my music when he walked up and sat next to me. Me being me, I asked how can I help you, and then he leaned in and whispered in my ear..." the intense blush on Matthew's face only made Charlie fangirl even more.

"What did he say!" Charlie at the edge of her seat, she wanted what she was thinking to be true so she kept insisting to see if it was.

"He said that I can help him with a lot of things but not there, then...then... he bit my ear softly, backed up and kept talking like if everything was normal."

"Really!? That's it!? Man, well at least he did something" Charlie mumbles the last part leaving Matthew even more confused than before

"What? What do you mean Charlie? Charlie is he...?"

"Is he what?" Charlie says acting innocent as if she didn't know what he was talking about.

"Charlie you know exactly what I mean" Matthew groans, feeling frustrated for having such a stubborn friend.

"What, I don't know what you're talking about," Charlie says smiling, she wanted him to say the word.

"You're not going to tell me unless I say the word aren't you?' Matthew asks worried she will agree with him.

"Yup, it's not that hard to say" Matthew rolls his eyes, some special friends I have, you have to ask right or they won't answer anything.

"Is Collin... in any way... g... g.... homosexual?" Matthew stumbles to even say the actual term. Charlie was even surprised that he even tried to say the shorter version.

"Well to be sincere to you, I don't know. You know I never really cared to ask any of you your sexuality at all. I don't know yours and I don't know his either, but in my sincere opinion, I think he is in somewhat of an aspect at least bi-sexual. But if you want to know you're going to have to ask him yourself."

"Ask him!? Are you crazy!?" Matthew says with his voice going up an octave because of how nervous he is. "I already have trouble talking to him about normal topics and you want me to ask him about something this personal?

"Well, maybe I am crazy, just a little bit. It's not a bad idea to ask I mean instead of just debating you can just ask and get yourself out of your doubt."

"Charlie it's not that easy," Matthew lays down, takes one of Charlie's pillows, and screams in it to release his frustration. Charlie rolls her eyes and slightly laughs at Matthew overreacting.

"Plus Charlie, even if it was easy don't you think he will get weirded out by me questioning his sexually now and not when we were getting to know each other. He'll probably think I am interested in him and will probably tell everyone." Charlie takes the pillow off of Matthew's face and looks at him with the most serious look he had gotten in a long time.

"Matthew are you interested?" Charlie asked intrigued. Charlie was hoping he was, well she knew he was but was hoping he would finally admit it.

Am I interested? Wait, no I shouldn't be thinking that about someone I don't like. Matthew shakes his head, "Interested? Charlie, what do you mean by that? You know we don't get along, we never have. He's your friend and my enemy. It doesn't work that way, well at least not in the real world."

Charlie laughs, "Of course it happens in the real world, more often than you think actually. Plus, there's nothing wrong with you being interested, I mean maybe he's interested in you."

Matthew rolls his eyes, "Yeah right. Whatever. Well, I have to go home and get ready for that dumb party."

"So you are going and you are interested." Charlie smiles and Matthew groans. He gets up and heads out the door and out of the house with Charlie following close behind.

"Charlie, what makes you think that I'm even interested in being near him?" Matthew says rolling his eyes.

"Well, you don't deny that you are interested and you are going to his birthday party." Matthew groans at Charlie and her, well what he believed to be, dumb assumptions.

"I never accepted that I was interested in either. I just didn't say anything." Matthew starts walking towards his truck and opens the door.

"You not saying anything and you going is enough answer to me," Charlie says with her big bright smile willing her eyebrows teasing Matthew.

"I'm only going because of you and you know that." Matthew gets in the truck, closes the door, and starts the engine.

"Sure, that's totally why." Matthew rolls his eyes, his window wide open being able to hear Charlie thinking she must be out of her mind.

"Wear green," Charlie says with the hope that he will.

"You know I don't wear green." Matthew starts exciting the driveway making sure there are no little kids around in the neighborhood.

"Fine. Wear blue! At least navy blue!" Charlie yells at him as he drives off to his house.