12 Chapter 12

Mentions of incest (Next few quotes are said by Victor, Collin's uncle)

"Look, just like your father, I'm gay. We were, umm, well, I don't know how to say this to you. Ethan was my older brother, and I loved him. Which is normal, but until I started to love him more than I should have. I feel in love with my brother, and I wanted nothing more than to be with him. I did everything to stop the unhealthy obsession I had for my brother, but the more I tried to get away, the more I fell in love. I know it sounds crazy, but it's true, I fell in love with my brother.

"One night after the annual family campfire, I decided that I was going to bed early. Everyone always stayed outside and fell asleep in tents, but I went upstairs to go to sleep in my room. As I was going upstairs, curiosity hit me. Ethan would never let anyone in his room since he was thirteen. I wanted to know what's inside, what is he hiding? He never let my parents in, no matter what, taking the spare keys of his room so only he could enter. Ethan was really against anyone entering, especially me, which brought me wanting to enter even more. As I reached his door, I was debating if I should or shouldn't, but before I could decide on one answer. I found myself already turning the knob and entering. I closed the door and turned on the lights. I was shocked at what I was seeing, he had pictures of me everywhere. His walls were covered, from head to toe with pictures of me. I didn't know how to feel about what I saw, all of the clothes I once thought I had lost on school trips or at my friend's house where neatly stacked in Ethan's closet."

"The door opened, but I was too afraid to turn around because I already knew who it was. I thought he was going to yell at me to get out, to mind my own business, but he didn't. I was scared that he was going to hit me, but instead, he kissed me. I was so shocked that I just stood there without doing anything to stop it or respond to it in any manner. He pulled away, saying he was sorry and kicked me out of his room without another word. I was fifteen years old in love with my brother, who was twenty looking for an apartment since next year he was leaving his dorm room. He was in college while I was a sophomore. To make matters worse, we were brothers. This was forbidden love, yet we seemed to forget every time our lips touched. We, we, ugh, we would take advantage of every moment we spent together to show each other we cared for one another."

"Once I turned seventeen, I started to realize that he didn't love me the same way I did. Yes, there was lust in his eyes like mine, but he wasn't in love, he was obsessed with me. I would find more and more of my things in his room back home. I think he wanted to hide them from everybody else. I guess he thought that he hid these from the world, maybe thought he hid them well enough for me not to find. More and more, I would find pictures, clothes, and even shoes in his closet that belonged to me. There was this one thing, one thing that I found the day Ethan was going to visit us. I found a box with my name on it along with a few drawn hearts Ethan had put around my name. I opened the box and found six VHS tapes placed neatly along with a piece of paper. It said I love you, Ethan, never forget it. Love, victor. I had given it to him when I was thirteen and only found it crazy how he kept such a small piece of paper for so long. I took the box into my room and put in the one that was labeled number one out of six."

"At first, the screen was black, but you could hear movement. I kept watching until finally, it showed me playing with my toy train, and being my eight-year-old self, playing with dinosaurs as well. It was just showing me playing, me getting out of the shower, changing into my pajamas, then I just fell asleep, and it ended. I was always curious about when his obsession started, and now I was being shown that it was since he stopped letting people in when he was thirteen. I kept playing the tapes in order: the second one I was ten, the third I was eleven, fourth I was twelve, fifth I was thirteen, and the sixth one showed me at my current age. I was confused, I was seventeen, and ever since my birthday Ethan had not come over to visit, yet it showed me with my blue hair that I had dyed a few days ago. The box seemed like it was opened a lot, and like if a few tapes were missing to fill up the box." Collin shakes his head and gets up, he sits in the corner, trying to process what his uncle was saying. It all, in a way, made sense to him, but he was still what had happened.

"Umm... what... what happened after that? Did you get away from him?" Matthew asked, feeling curious yet worried for Collin.

"Victor, ... this... this is why my dad was always weird around you. Why my he seemed nervous at every family reunion and never wanted to visit you. Did, did he ever cheat on my mom with you?" Collin had finally realized why his father acted the way he did. Everything he would say and do made much more sense now.

"No, Collin, he didn't cheat on your mom. We..." Victor's eyes started to water, he felt embarrassed by his actions, but his nephew had to know the truth.

"That night, he had found me in his room, and we ended up confessing to one another. I tried not to, but I was in love with Ethan and was filled with lust at the thought he loved me too. He confessed that he had loved me ever since he was thirteen and couldn't hold back much longer. I told him that he was just confused, that he didn't love me, it was just his obsession with me, and it needed to stop. It wasn't right or legal for us to love each other or be together." Matthew didn't, couldn't process what Victor was saying, and couldn't imagine how Collin was feeling right now.

"So you and Ethan stopped seeing each other? Did you guys part ways?" Collin looked at his uncle for answers, and the look in his eyes just seemed to answer it all.

"That night, we showed each other how much we loved each other in a way that can't be undone." Victor looks at his hands, even though he was older than the boys, he was still pretty young, and his actions made it seem like he was younger. "I... we... that night, we were no longer virgins." Victor couldn't look at his nephew in the eyes because the worst was yet to come.

"Uncle Vic, please, I need to know don't I?" Victor nods but proceeds to look at his hands in his lap nervously. Everything just seemed harder to confess to his innocent nephew that did not fault their actions.

"I decided to move in with him, making up the excuse that there was a college I wanted to attend to that was closer to Ethan's apartment than our house. I convinced my parents to let me move in with him by stating it would not only be closer but cheaper for both of us. Since Ethan lived in a different town, we lived like a couple. We didn't look alike, much less with our modifications, which was like a dream come true. We wanted to get married so badly, but us being brothers and I being underaged made it impossible for it to happen."

'Wait... so... what did you guys do? Did anyone ever find out about your relationship with him?" Matthew asks curiously, wanting to know how and why Ethan and Victor stopped being in a relationship.

"I always did what he told me to do. I never questioned his authority because I wanted to be told what to do. I know it sounds crazy, but I loved being free from choice. I felt like I had less responsibility and everything he wanted me to do, I enjoyed it. I remember the day it ended like it was yesterday. We were full of lust, close to showing each other, our love for one another when the door opened. We instantly got apart and to say we had bad luck was an understatement. We had been caught, by our parents, and to say they were upset would only cover one-eighth of what they were feeling. Once our parents gave us the speech of our lives and left, Ethan started blaming me. That it was my fault, for being so perfect, for seducing him all these years. He made me feel like a slut and didn't hesitate to say it himself. He took out his anger on me, beating me, calling me names, making sure that I believed it was my fault. I moved out, back into my parents' house, and there was a lot of tension between my mother and me. Our parents were more upset with the fact that I was a minor than us being related but still didn't press charges on Ethan because it would bring shame to the family name."

"He ended up leaving me for my best friend because he could have kids with her. I still loved him, but she married her soon after the year they had gotten to know each other. I tried to warn Lisa, but she didn't listen. When you were born, things started to change. Ethan's attitude started to change quickly and dramatically. I would go and visit Lisa when Ethan wasn't around to avoid any trouble, but I started noticing how much you looked like me. I thought it was strange, but I was happy that my nephew looked like me. There were many times during your youth when your father tried to convince me to be with him behind Lisa's back, but I couldn't. I thought about it, I loved him, but I wasn't going to be so cruel to you and Lisa because of my selfish needs. It wasn't until you turned eight when I started seeing the same patterns. Ethan would film you, which is normal for every parent to capture special moments in their child's youth, but he had you wear what I wore. Had your room exactly how I had mine and even got you to wear my old clothes. I thought it was sweet at first, but it was the little things that had me question his actions."