Chapter 37 : The art of bullshitery

You find yourself floating in an unfamiliar and seemingly endless dark space.

Some may even refer to this area as the void.

When you look down, you notice that your body has become ethereal, with no visible features other than the outline of your humanoid form.

You have no idea who you are or how you got in here.

All you feel at the time is the urge to read.

Yes, the urge to read.

While you were trying to pondering the meaning of that and amidst the vast emptiness, a figure materializes before you.

The man was cloaked in the resplendent attire of a traditional Japanese storyteller, he was almost indiscernible due to the radiant light emanating from his being.

His light pierces through the inky darkness, casting an ethereal glow upon your surroundings.

He took out a fan from under his sleeve and covered his face with it in one smooth motion.

And then, with a cheery voice that resonates harmoniously with his radiant aura, he spoke.

A Greetings and salutations!!

How are you doing boys and girls?

Are you doing well?

Guess who's back?

That's right! Your number one most handsome narrator in the higher planes.

Who said so you say?

Yours truly of course!!

(Clink) ) (Clink)

Anyway i can see my creator reaching for his heavenly sandel so i should start narrating before he ruin my handsome face.

Ahem ahem.

---(Captain Marvel POV)---

Not too long ago, I was flying through the stars, beating up bad guys and kicking ass. It was nice and easy.

But then, out of nowhere, my beeper started ringing.

That could only mean one thing: Earth was in danger!

I immediately flew toward Earth as fast as I could. I couldn't let my home, and the home of my friends, be in danger or worse, be destroyed.

After some time, I reached Earth, but strangely, everything seemed fine. People were going about their daily lives as usual, with no apparent signs of world-ending danger anywhere.

Did Nick accidentally press the button? That couldn't be it, right?

The next thing I did was appear in Nick's office. He looked tired, like he hadn't had a wink of sleep for the past week.

I sat him down, making sure it was really him and not someone who had stolen his identity, and I began questioning him. And by god it was a good thing that i flew here as fast as i could.

An earthquake that resulted from someone or something battling?

An alien who could fire a beam from Earth to orbit, destroying one of the few SHIELD satellites?

And abyss-like hole that spanned miles and miles into the heart Earth?

What the hell happened when I wasn't here?

And so, I began my search for these world-ending individuals with my Cosmic Awareness.

I searched and searched, but I found nothing. It was as if whoever was the source of all this had vanished into thin air, leaving no traces behind.

I kept going like this for almost a year until the day I received a call from Fury.

In a rushed voice, he told me to meet him at a specific location he sent me, but he warned me not to engage with the target, at least for now.

When I arrived at the designated place, I found myself looking at a burger joint in downtown California. The area around the joint had already been cleared, and the restaurant was surrounded by dozens and dozens of SHIELD personnel.

I landed beside Nick, and he wasted no time in telling me what he had found.

It turned out that we weren't after a group; it was only one person who had caused all of this chaos. It was the Unknown alien!

And we had finally cornered him at this burger place.

But wait, something doesn't seem right.

If this alien is as powerful as Nick says, shouldn't my Cosmic Awareness have already picked up on his energy?

This can only mean one thing.

If this alien possessed the formidable powers Fury described, wouldn't my Cosmic Awareness have already detected their energy signature?

There were only two possibilities: either this alien was a master of concealing their power, or they surpassed my own strength by an unfathomable margin!!

.....

No, that can't be right. Even if this alien is stronger than me, I should still be able to sense a faint trace of their energy. Judging by the energy signatures around this place, everything seems normal.

With this in mind, I walked confidently into the joint alongside Fury and his team.

As we entered, we noticed that every table was empty except for one in the middle of the room.

My eyes first landed on Tony Stark, the brilliant man Nick had warned me not to harm in case a fight broke out.

But then, I shifted my gaze to the person sitting beside him, and I nearly jumped backward, instinctively assuming a fighting stance!

In front of me stood a humanoid figure entirely composed of white, with countless tendrils emanating from its body. It emitted the purest cosmic energy I had ever encountered!

I found myself frozen in place, unable to move. My instincts screamed at me to run, to never look back. It felt as though this planet was doomed, and if we stayed any longer, so were we!

Taking a deep breath, I blinked, and suddenly, everything returned to normal.

The white figure had vanished, replaced by a tall man dressed in outdated clothing. He sat at the table, devouring his food as if he hadn't eaten in thousands of years.

Confusion overwhelmed me. What had I just witnessed? Was it a hallucination?

Then, I recalled something Nick had mentioned before.

This alien possesses the power to manipulate minds and create illusions!

Yes, that must be it. An illusion.

There was no way something as what I had seen could actually exist in this world.

Afterward, one thing led to another, and I grabbed hold of the alien, flying off with him to ensure the safety of the city's civilians.

I expected the alien to struggle as soon as we took flight, but to my surprise, that didn't happen. He remained still for a few minutes, and then, out of nowhere, he started asking me.

"Are we there yet?" Noah asked.

My mind froze for a second, unsure of how to respond.

Thinking there was no harm in it, I replied, "No."

But oh, how I regretted my response.

For the next ten minutes, he incessantly repeated the same question, over and over again!

"Are we there yet?"

"No!"

"Are we there yet?"

" No!!"

"Are we there yet?"

"No!!!"

"Are we there y--"

But before he could finish asking again, I snapped at him.

"For God's sake, can't you just stay quiet for five minutes?!" I exclaimed, my voice filled with anger.

In response, he shrugged and retorted, "Maybe you should have considered what a pain in the ass I could be before swooping in out of nowhere and kidnapping me while I was minding my own business, huh?"

"Kidnap you? What the hell are you talking about?! YOU. ARE. AN. INTERNATIONAL. TERRORIST!" I raised my voice, my blood boiling from his words. "We have evidence of you blowing up Mt. Lee!"

"Oh really? Did your precious evidence also tell you how I got injured by space pirates while defending this backward planet and had to hide for nearly a year?" Noah's voice turned sorrowful as he wiped away a tear with his tail, as if he had been deeply wronged.

"What? Space pirates?" Carol exclaimed, confusion written all over her face.

She was so perplexed that she abruptly stopped flying and landed in the middle of the the scorching deserts of Nevada.

And as if something compiling her, she relinquished her hold on Noah and leaned in with rapt attention, ready to listen intently to what he had to say.

"Yeah, space pirates! They're Dark Elves who broke away from the main fleet, stole advanced ships, and became pirates terrorizing the galaxy!"

"They traveled throughout the universe for countless years, raiding planets, killing innocent people, and stealing everything they could get their hands on. Once they had taken all they wanted, they ruthlessly destroyed the planets and everything living on them, all while hiding in their invisible ships."

(Sad, haunting music played softly in the background)

"My home planet, Htrae, was one of their victims. We Saiyans were a peaceful race, never causing harm to others and keeping to ourselves. We lived in peace until the Elves attacked us," Noah's voice quivered, heavy with sorrow.

"I saw those despicable Elves kill and burn my homeland, taking away everything that mattered to me—my family, my home, my entire planet!"

(The emotional music shifted, filled with anger)

"I made a vow to track down those villains and make them pay, no matter where they fled in the vastness of the universe. I searched tirelessly, but their ships' invisibility made it nearly impossible to find them. I almost lost hope."

"Then, one day, a wise seer informed me that the pirates planned to attack a planet called Earth, located at the edge of the universe."

"With unwavering determination, I flew as fast as I could, swearing not to let those criminals claim another life while I still breathed!"

"I arrived on Earth just in time to discover them preparing to unleash their terror. I engaged in a monumental battle, facing off against a hundred of them, shaking the very foundations of the city."

"Those vile beings looked exactly as they did when they destroyed our planet—dark, menacing eyes and long, white hair, like a storm about to break."

"I fought relentlessly, shielding innocent people from their grasp. But as I fought, I noticed their ship's cannons glowing ominously."

"They wanted to destroy me and the city in one fell swoop!"

"I tried to stop them, but the remaining Elves surrounded me, blocking my path and willing to die alongside me."

"In the end, I had no choice but to use a secret technique known only to my race. It tapped into the energy at the core of our beings, allowing us to unleash immense power, but at the cost of one-third of our life span. I could only sustain this technique for ten minutes, so I had to act swiftly."

"I tapped into my core, feeling the surge of power coursing through me, making it easier to overcome the remaining Elves surrounding me."

"After defeating the last Dark Elf in front of me, I looked up and saw a horrifying sight."

"I was too late—the cannon was about to fire, and the city was on the brink of destruction!"

"I soared through the sky like a comet, racing against time. In the final second before the beam was unleashed, I struck the side of the ship, diverting the cannon's trajectory towards a nearby mountain, causing Mt. Lee to vanish in an instant."

"Afterward, I met a wealthy scientist named Tony Stark, who agreed to hide me in return for the remains of the Dark Elves' ship for his research. And from that point on, well, you know the rest of the story."

"So, I ask you, even after all I have done for this planet, why do you treat me this way? Is this how Earth repays someone who came to their aid in their darkest hour?" Noah concluded his tail and then squatted down and began to draw lines in the sand.

(The narrator clapped his hands in awe as Noah, the master con artist, effortlessly deceived the unsuspecting lady before their eyes.)

Carol looked at the man squatting in front of her with eyes clouded with confusion and hastations. The anger and rage she felt toward Noah had all disappeared while hearing his story.

Did we made a mistake?

She asked herself while walking around in a circle.

This guy story make sense right?

She knew about the dark elves and their spaceships and savage nature so she would understand if some of them left their fleet and began operating as a space pirates.

It would also explain why she never seen someone that looked like Noah before, if the dark elves destroyed his planet there shouldn't be anyone other then him right?

And his story matches with what happened in Doomsday LA.

First was the Earthquakes and then the kabooms.

Yeah it's all make sense if you asked her.

But after some thinking something dawned on her

.....

Wait second!!

Her clouded eye instantly became clear and the confusion in her eyes were replaced yet again with anger and wrath.

That lying asshole is trying to pull a fast one on me !!!

Nick latterly showed me footage of this guy beating the shit out of people and knocking a satellite out of orbit!!

And let's not forget the recording of him admitting that he blew up MT.LEE.

What the hell was i thinking?

He almost fooled me!

I'm going to beat the shit out of this lying scumbag!!

Carol said to herself as he turned around to try and beat Noah.

But as soon as she faced Noah, she heard him scream

"SHORYUKEN!"

And In an instant, she found herself soaring through the sky at a mach six speed.

(To be continued)

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[Hey readers Soli here. How are you guys health? i hope everyone is doing fine and dandy.

Sorry about the delay in the uploads, i was and still busy with irl stuff, but i think i'll be free to write more in a week or so. Anyway imma go and play some diablo 4 and chill so i'll see you guys in the next chapter! A/N ]

[Oh also, Don't forget to drink water and get enough sunlight or else i'll make you watch Boku no Pico. Yes this is a threat.]

[Anyway imma go out for real now, bye bye bye.]