18 Under the star

Urgh...My head...What happened?

I look around to see myself lying on a bed and people around me.

Teachers and students, kind like that.

When I tried to get up, my body aches.

I look over to see Lilith and Hilda, with Mari standing behind them.

Lilith looks like she's about to cry.

"Oi...What's with the wet eyes?"

"Because...Because you wouldn't wake up no matter how hard we tried."

"Oh..."

I look out of the window.

It's already noon.

Mari walks up closer to me, and looks like she wants to say something.

"...What do you want?"

She's fidgeting.

I just noticed that everyone has already left the room, including Lilith and Hilda, and I definitely saw Hilda pushing Lilith out.

"I'm sorry!"

She suddenly bowing down startled me.

"What's with you?!"

"...Even though I don't want to say this...but it's because of me that you got into this state. Me, on behalf of the Marigolds, truly sorry for my mistakes."

What's with her?

"...I'm fine...I think. I just need some rest and everything will be ok."

"But..."

"Look. Everything is gonna be fine. If you want to apologize to me then get out there and eat with everybody. I'll be out there in just a second."

Mari, still hesitating, finally leaves.

She isn't acting like herself.

Isn't the usual Mari would go like "Because of me that both of us are still alive, you better be thankful to me."?

Speaking of which, what'd happened back there?

My body got incredibly painful, Mari went off to fight the bear, and then...

Ah.

ArgHHHHHHH!!!

Why, why, why, WHY!?!?

WHY DID I USE IT!?

I have sworn to myself to never use it again!

But why?

I do not get it.

Wait.

Is it because of her?

I do not know what happened but at that moment I though I heard something.

Deep from within my heart, it cried out.

It wanted to protect her.

But I don't know why.

I need to keep this in mind and be careful not to use it again.

I'm just glad I didn't hurt her.

Getting out of bed, my body still slightly aches.

I want to rest, but gotta do it the fast way then.

"<<Heal - Restoration>>."

I can feel my body getting better by the second.

After a few seconds, it no longer aches.

But...

"Guh...!"

This spell takes too much of my mana.

Using it twice in one day is already putting a strain on my body.

Clenching my chest, I make my way out to the site where everybody is gathering.

The smell of something being grilled is in the air.

"Ah! Yaritsuke! Are you ok now? You looks better than before!"

Lilith was the first one to speak up.

"Yeah. I took the fast way by healing myself."

"Eh?"

Is it that surprising?

"You never cease to surprise me, Yari."

This time Hilda is the one to speak up.

"Do I?"

I come close to the grill.

Seeing many different kind of mushrooms being grilled at once stimulates my appetite.

I picked one up and began biting on them.

Umm.

The juicy flavor and the smokiness really amped up the taste.

Having a feast after all that fight really restores my energy back up.

"Ah!"

Hilda suddenly spoke up, pointing at me.

"Hmm? What's wrong?"

"That mushroom you just ate, isn't that one of the ones the teacher told us to be careful?"

Eh.

EH?!

"What?! It's poisoned?!"

"Erm...No, I don't think so. I think they said that it temporarily change your voice or something..."

I have no memory about the teacher talking about this kind of mushroom.

Could it be...

When I went to the restroom?

I look over to Lilith.

She's eating happily.

Sigh... I guess I can't be angry about her right now, can I?

After we'd finished the barbecue, it's turned afternoon.

We were allowed some free time to rest.

I tried speaking, but seemed like nothing changed.

...I wonder what Father would think if he knew that I've joined school?

I reach out to my neck to find it...gone.

Eh.

Oi, hold up.

Where's my necklace?

I tried searching my entire body, but found nothing.

Ah.

Did I drop it in the forest?

Looking around, I see that no one is near me right now.

The teachers told us not to wander into the forest due to what happened to me and Mari, but I do not worry much because I remember where we'd fought.

Living for a long time in the forest has its use.

I slowly make my way out of the camp and into the forest.

I can see some monsters's corpses.

Good, it means that I'm going the right way.

And here it is.

The bear, despite being the largest, is no where to be found.

...Must be my fault for that one then.

I began searching around.

------------------------------------

She still haven't had the courage to give him back the pendant.

She took it out and looked at it.

She had seen it once before.

Worn by the personal guard of the princess, Zero.

But, why does he have it?

...

Her face reddened.

She seemed to have realised something.

But she wasn't sure.

...She had decided.

Sitting around doing nothing wouldn't resolve anything.

Then, she noticed Yaritsuke slowly making his way into the forest.

Curious, she followed him.

She hid behind a tree and observed him to see what he was trying to do.

He crouched down and seemed to be finding something.

Could it be?

She took out the pendant in her pocket.

"Who's there?!"

He found out?!

"It's me."

Having no other choice, she revealed herself.

"Eh! Were I found out?!"

"...What are you doing?"

"Nothing! Let's get back! It's getting dark!"

He seemed to worried about something.

"Wait!"

He stopped.

"...Is this what you're looking for?"

She showed him the pendant.

"!!! That's it!"

He tried to grab it, but Mari stopped him.

"What are you doing?!"

"If you want it back, then tell me. Where did you get it from?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Tell me!"

"I got it from my father."

"Father?"

That's strange.

She remembered that Zero'd never married anyone,

"What did he look like?"

"...Enough asking. Give it back!"

Pushing around made both of them fall onto each other.

Yari fell on top, while Mari on the bottom.

Their eyes met for a moment.

Mari started blushing intensely.

But for Yari...

"Got it!"

He managed to grab the pendant while Mari was still in a daze.

"Ah! Not fair!"

"Hey! This is mine, you know?!"

He then quickly get up and made his way out of the forest, not before turning around and said to Mari,

"...And about Father, his hair is white like mine."

Mari was left behind.

Realising she didn't know the way out, she hurriedly got up and chased after Yaritsuke.

"Hey! Don't leave me here!"

---------------------

Oh yeah by the way, I remember the teachers did told us about a hot spring.

The only thing is...

There is only a mixed bath.

There's no separate bath for different genders.

But it's not like I mind if I was seen naked anyway.

I don't really understand the concept of people getting embarassed for having your naked body seen.

If you are embarassed by your own body, it either means you have something that you don't want to show others or you don't love yourself enough.

I look around to see no one is here yet.

Or in this case, they have already taken the bath first.

Good.

I undressed and went into the bath, keeping on my pendant.

Father told me to always wear it on me, no matter what I am doing.

Because this is supposedly a good luck charm.

But to avoid it being in my way of bathing, I put the pendant's face behind my back.

I slowly put my feet into the water, and sat down.

...Ahhhh~

This is the best...

*Clack*

Wait a minute.

The door opened.

And comes the familiar pink hair girl: Lilith.

Eh?

Oi hold up.

I though everyone had already taken their bath?

She had a surprised look on her face when she saw me.

"Gyah!"

"...I thought everyone had already taken their bath..." She murmured under her breath.

Yup. You took the words out of my mouth.

After that, she looked at me and said.

"I haven't seen you before. Are you from here?"

Eh?

Do I look that different?

"Erm... I am..."

...

As I just open my mouth to speak, I noticed a change in my voice.

The tone became higher, so I sounded more feminine.

Could it be...

From the mushroom I ate hours ago?

So the effect only kick in at the worst situation, huh...

I understand the situation now.

I used to hear from big sis Iris that I look like a girl (or my face) when I let my hair down.

Plus my voice being like this right now, I'm now completely a girl (in disguise).

If I tell her my true identity right now, it would create unwanted trouble, so I guess I'll have to play along, as much as I don't want to.

"...Yes. My name is... Riya. I'm... currently going camping by myself."

"What a coincident! Me too! I'm going with my class though."

Hey! Don't just casually go and sit next to me!?

Right now I'm a complete stranger, you know?

*Clank*

The door opens again.

And this time it's Mari and Hilda.

An odd pair, but this is not the time.

They were also surprised when they saw us.

"Lilithos, you are a girl?!"

Oh, and that too.

"Ah! I forgot!!"

She used her hand to hide her body.

...What's the point of hiding now?

"I had thought Lilithos looked feminine, but to actually be a girl..."

Now they are looking at me.

"And this girl is?"

"Ah. This is Riya. She's also going camping like us too, but she's going by herself."

"Eh?! That's impressive!"

And now they have joined the bath too.

...

I have a bad feeling about this.

If I got caught right now, I'm dead.

"My name is Hildagea! Nice to meet you!"

"Ah...Yes. Nice to meet you, too."

She reached her hand out to me.

Still a bit hesitating, I shook her hand anyway.

She took back her hand and had a confused look on her face.

"And I, the daughter of the Marigolds, and the one who is destined become the greatest sorcerer of this world, is named Mari Marigold."

"Yes. Nice to meet you."

"Speaking of which..."

Mari looks at my body.

"Why does a girl like you have so many scars on your body? It's ruined your beauty!"

Ah.

These scars.

All of the years I lived alone in the forest, I had to dealt with many different kind of monsters.

And the times I had been in a state between life and death has become uncountable.

And these scars are the proof of that.

"I...don't want to talk about it."

"..."

The mood has become awkward.

"Hey, let's talk about love!"

Lilith?!

Is she trying to lighten the mood?

"We are all girls, and of course a girl's group needs love talk, right?"

For a few seconds, the air became silent.

"...*blub* *blub* *blub*..."

Her face turned bright red, then she lowers her head into the water.

She probably had realised how dumb that idea was when she recommend it.

Beside, speaking about love is...

"...I had someone I like."

Mari suddenly speaks up.

Oi, are we really doing this?

"He and I used to be together all the time."

"And he was my...fianceé."

WHAT?!

I tried to hold in my almost shouting.

Her?

Fianceé?

Is this a noble thing or what?

The other two girls look in shock as well.

"But then, he disappeared."

"His sister didn't return when she was sent to the Demon Kingdom for some political stuffs, and never return."

"He set out to investigate her disappearance, but like her, he also disappeared, too."

"...He promised. To return to my side."

"He promised. To marry me when we grow up."

"But...he didn't keep his promise."

"I waited for him, but he never returned."

"...I'm sorry...for not being able to..."

My mouth suddenly spoke out those words.

Huh?

Why did I say that?

"Hmm? Did you say something?"

"Ah! Nothing! Please continue!"

"I don't want to say more."

"Then, my turn!"

Hilda is the one to speak this time.

Wait...

Hilda?!

"There's a boy I like. He's dense, but a very good person."

Hmm.

"When I first met him, he was reading a book."

Hmm...?

"He got bullied by the kids in the village, but he took no notice of them and continued on reading. When they touched his book though, he used his body to protect it, not caring for the punching and kicking they did to him."

"I was the one to save him from them. From that point on, we became friends."

"He's really a bookworm. Once he started reading something, he stop caring about the world around him no matter how hard I called him."

"But that was the reason why we had a fight. I was the one to win, but still being upset, I ran into a forest nearby, and got myself lost in there..."

Her face turned slightly red.

"But he found me in an instant. I was surprised how quickly he managed to find me."

"When he took my hand and led me back to my family, at that moment I fell for him."

...

I never knew.

If she had said something back then, I would have known.

I...

Had also liked her.

But my feeling for her has extinguised after that incident.

Because of what I did to her, I disallowed myself to love or be loved ever again.

She suddenly looked at my direction.

Eh?

Don't tell me, she knew...?

I highly doubt it, but if it's true, why didn't she say anything?

"That's...beautiful."

Huh?

"Your love...is beautiful!"

Mari spoke up.

"What about you, Lilithos?"

"Me? Hmm...I guess I don't like anyone right now..."

Then why did you even suggest it in the first place?

Then everyone looked at me.

"How about you, Riya? Do you have anyone you like?"

"Eh? I..."

...

When I opened my mouth to speak this time, my voice became deep again.

...Crap. Why does it have to be at this moment...

I look at the girls's face, all of them in shock, but not Hilda.

Realising there's nothing more to lose, I grab my hair into a bundle similar to my ponytail and put my fingers in a V shape.

"...Y-Yo."

The next thing I knew, I was running away for my life.

On our way to get back to our school, none of the girls said anything to me. I tried distancing myself from them so as not to upset them again.

Despite being like this, I felt joy.

Happiness.

Where everyone gather around and just talk casually.

Where I can be with my friends, discussing with them and having small arguments.

At this moment, my only wish is that these days like this would last forever.

But...as soon as I think that, a cage falls on me, and I understand.

I don't deserve all of this.

I'm unworthy.

It tells me so from deep inside.

I'm a murderer.

And a murderer doesn't deserve happiness.

Would there ever be a moment where I'm allowed to enjoy all of these feeling I'm having now?

I let myself slowly succumb to my sleepiness as I continue to think.