26 Personal Space

That's-

I frowned recalling Katsumi's words.

"What are you doing? You weirdo."

I pushed him out of frame and posed once more to take my shot.

"Amara... so cold..."

His wobbly and emotional voice made me look his way.

He had fallen on the floor for one and his cheeks were flushed.

He had tipped over so easily... what the hell?!

I felt bad seeing him like that. His face seemed rounder and redder than usual. He really looked like a plush Kagami now.

"Are you drunk?"

He blinked at me and placed a hand on his knee to stand. I walked over to help.

"To think the phrase I could knock you over with just a finger would be true." I held out my hand to help him, and he took it and pressed it against his cheek.

My mind went blank, I couldn't help squinting at him.

It was dark so I had to double-check if he was a stranger or not.

"What...are you doing?"

He kissed the back of my hand and I yanked it back.

I was going to yell but seeing the glazed look in his eyes, huffed. Approaching him from the back I hauled him up by his armpits. That's when I was assaulted by the smell.

I frowned

"Drinking at your age is illegal, dear."

"It wos jus..."

"Juice?"

"...Yesh."

My heart fuzzied at his stupid drowsy expression and I hated it.

"Where did you get the juice?"

"I wos tricked, dey're so mean..."

Who is they? Well, it was none of my business. I decided to let him handle his own injustices ever since his bandmate scratched his face. Still, I couldn't help worrying about him as I threw tomatoes at his bandmates in my head. Especially the baldie, he said he'd protect him!

"Hmm...." I steered him by the shoulders as we walked. "Then... are you still on the job or are you going home?"

It was a dumb question, how could he work like this? Still, I've heard of some producers who found inspiration and were still capable of working when drunk.

He shrugged me off all of a sudden and spun around to glare at me.

A question sign hung over my head.

"What is it?"

He reached down and took the bags on my left arm, stumbling a little as he proceeded ahead.

Mumbling. "...Use me."

My feet were glued to the sidewalk as I watched him walk ahead. Why... is he like that? Is he still upset? ". . ."

A deep sigh escaped me. "Okay." I said to no one in particular, he had long walked on ahead.

He turned around to yell seeing how far away I was. "Lesh walk..." He beckoned me over. "Togeshwa!"

I started walking, as I approached him I recalled Katsumi's words again, and the speed at which I approached him slowed down. He even kissed my hand... well, I know some people tend to kiss when drunk.

But he still seemed slightly there.

As we walked in silence, he sobered up.

He spoke quietly. "What're you doing all the way on the other side of town anyway?" Had he been faking it? I squinted at him. The plush doll was an enigma.

"...You're holding the evidence."

He looked down at the bags.

"By yourself?"

"Mmm."

I heard him deeply exhale. For a second I thought it was me.

What's he sighing for?

"You should call me next time."

"Why?"

He stopped walking all of a sudden."Amara..."

"What?" I noticed he did and stopped to stare.

He frowned at me.

I never thought he was capable of getting angry before, to be honest, that memory of him slamming down the fries still stuck with me. It was funny but also out of character. It never feels good when a nice person gets mad with you, that feeling, it sorta burns. And you feel bad. Like now.

I think I already know what he wants to say.

"A lot of women shop alo-

"I'll be leaving during the summer."

My unfinished defense hung in my mouth.

"Oh...Okay."

"We'll be going on tour." He clarified.

I knew he was doing well! The music trapped inside that room of his would finally trickle out into the world! I felt relieved, happy even but there was also sadness budding there. My lips stretched out into a smile. It was slightly forced."...Oh! Congrats!"

His smile was flat. "...Thank you."

A silence passed and as he stared it felt as if he wanted me to say something.

"What...about you?"

My heart sunk. I didn't want to talk about myself. Finding something to do here in Japan only depressed me. I had no interests much less something I wanted to do.

When I said nothing he said, "It occurred to me... I've always been on the receiving ends of things. I was comfortable with not knowing everything about you because I figured you'd open up to me in time. But..." He inhaled and tensed before finally saying it. "I...don't have the time."

I blinked a couple of times. Was he saying he no longer wanted to be friends?

I folded my arms. I barely see him these days anyway, it was bound to happen. It happened all the time before anyway, ceasing contact because of a move. The interest in someone was only relative due to their close proximity to you. At least for some youth. Most youth.

It was a point I could understand but it still stung. This was why... I much rather be the one to reject, otherwise bitterness wells up inside me. Like this.

My chest felt stuffy but I held it in. I nodded but I didn't know what for. I turned my back and relaxed my shoulders, slowly exhaled through my teeth. It's fine. It's going to be fine. It has always been just fine. You'll get over it.

"That's why... I thought we should write to each other." I heard him say.

I heard it before.

In the end, we'll forget each other as life moves on. Regardless, moving on with our lives and forgetting each other would be inevitable. For now, just say whatever.

"Amara?"

Crap, I took too long to answer.

"Fine. Let's do that."

He walked and stopped to stand next to me. His dark grey irises fixating on me sternly.

"Then you have to write me first."

The wrong guitar string.

"...Why?"

He continued to stare unblinkingly. "You already know so much about me. I'd like to hear from you."

I instinctively frowned. Why?! Katsumi's words of him staring at me in class fluttered back to mind. Did I get too close to him without realizing it? He says that I know so much about him but I don't. I really don't.

Why did he want to be friends with me, to begin with? Was it because we were neighbors that went to the same school? It couldn't be. Was it because we got stuck together as teacher and student?

Does he like me?

Kagami?

Impossible.

Kagami wanted to be friends because he's Kagami. He wasn't an unsociable kid, he only talked less because he was pissy about being torn away from his tribe.

I averted my gaze.

"Even if I write, I wouldn't have much to say."

Unexpectedly, his next words were blunt.

"Then find something to say."

Those words struck me personally. I felt attacked.

The irritation left me speechless for a couple of seconds, I wanted to dispute it but I couldn't. He... was right.

His eyes mirrored my own face.

"Make me be interested in you."

"H-huh?" Was he saying I'm boring?! Well, actually that's true. Still, this time I actually began to hate him a little.

Like before I had gotten agitated only to quickly accept it.

"Are you going to have let me used you, without even giving anything in return?" He asked me.

I blinked at him. What was he on about?

He was looking at the ground, kicking the air. "You... don't realize what you've done for me, Amara."

His eyes were shimmering and I found it disturbing. Was he gonna cry? Don't cry because of me, please!

I felt burdened.

"Dude... I just gave you a flyer."

His jaw dropped and he looked severely agitated. This guy... I really have a knack for upsetting him.

He approached me suddenly. "NO! Wrong! That's so wrong Amara, how could you-

I held up a hand.

"Kagami... p-personal space..."

His expression morphed into one of annoyance, he smacked it away and hugged me.

". . ."

What the heck is happening? What's up with him?!

S-should I hug him back?

Wait no, I don't want him to get the wrong idea... what if he likes me?

"You really mean a lot to me, Amara." Those gushy words made my heart fuzzy and my mind blanker than it already was.

I'd be lying if I said I felt the opposite. These days, I speak to him less now that he was busy but it only made me miss him more. Back then, we could just sit together in silence and be at peace, with anyone else I would feel pressured to say something but with him....

Some part of me was comfortable with just letting things be, but if he said such sappy crap like this, I'd really feel horrible if I let him go.

He squeezed me tightly. "You're someone I want in my life...forever!"