2 HOPE

Every morning I wake up to this thought about myself, a thought that makes me wonder if I'm a good person. I wake up thinking about my purpose as a human being and the things I can do to give my life a little meaning, i wake up everyday to this question that I still can't answer but the only thing that keeps me from going completely crazy is hope. Hope that tomorrow I'll know and if not tomorrow the day after that if not then, then later but one day I will for sure. Hope is a very powerful thing for a man who has nothing else to live by, neither love nor pleasure. I don't remember the last time something or someone gave me immense pleasure, maybe it was too long ago that I don't remember or maybe I'm just not sensitive enough to this feeling. No friendship of mine has lasted very long, I'm not even sure I have people to call friends even today, but that's just my fault, I don't trust people, animals yes but not people. Because I am people and I know I'm never completely open about my feelings to anyone so how do I expect someone else to be honest with me, all these emotions that I have, I have learnt how to bury them now, bury them so deep enough that they don't come back for long. I do this to hoping for a day, a day that I can dig these feelings out again and that'll be the day I would know how to deal with these emotions, right now I life for hope and nothing else, hope for a happy life, a rich life, not rich with money but with rich with satisfaction and happiness.