33 Regrets and Mistakes

My eyes widened and my head shot up to the sky above me. The sun was blocking the two figures floating down, but I couldn't prevent a sense of excitement and relief from enveloping my body as tears of joy crept down my cheeks. Two Ghosts floated down and inspected Amelia and Sayuri's bodies. One of them was pure black with two little mechanical ears and a floating tail made out of light.

It looked pretty fucking adorable if I may say so myself, but I was more invested in how it was looking around at Sayuri. I looked up at the...eccentric Ghost and asked "Can you save her...? Please...please do something...!" The Ghost suddenly looked at its orange companion and said "These aren't the ones we were looking for. Let's continue our se-" I grabbed the Ghost and it let out a high pitched yelp as I said "Look closer! These two have to be the ones you wanted! Why else would you stop and inspect them so closely?" through clenched teeth.

The Ghost's companion, a dark orange Ghost with a cog-wheel on the side of its circular body, floated up to me and said "It's because we saw your Light and thought it was these two's souls, but we were mislead. Now, if you'll excuse us..." I grabbed the Ghost with my free hand and was barely able to contain my anger as I said "These two are special! They have my light flowing through their bodies! Please, you have to bring them back!!"

The orange Ghost looked at me with an annoyed stare as he said "Look, bud, we can't just revive them and waltz away to find our Guardians. We can't get another chance once we select our Guardian. You wouldn't understand." I stared at him with fiery eyes and said "I would under-" however, a large shadow above me stopped me mid-sentence. Suddenly, a very familiar red-haired and cyan eyed Awoken crashed down in front of me and said "Yo! Do you miss me?"

My eyes widened as I stuttered "C-Caarjin!? Where the hell were you!? When I came to I didn't see you with me in the Hive city!" Caarjin laughed and held his arms akimbo as he said "I was busy killing a whole army of Hive while you took on the main baddies!" in a prideful and content voice. I narrowed my eyes and said "Yeah, never mind. I shouldn't have asked" as I grabbed the Ghosts trying to slowly float away.

Caarjin pointed to the Ghosts and asked "What, you into machines now?" with a small grin. I glared at him to shut him up before turning back to the Ghosts and saying "You will revive them, or else. If you won't, then I will and, if I do, you will lose one of your most powerful Guardians." The Ghosts looked at each other with skeptical eyes while the black one said "I don't think that is possible...even if you are this strong..."

I clicked my tongue and then I had an idea. 'Sam! Are you here?' I heard a weary groan before Sam's voice spoke and said 'Ughhh what the hell do you wantttttt...?' I could barely contain my excitement as I asked 'Can you bring Leo to me!?' Sam groaned once more before appearing out from my body and saying "Aye aye captain..." in a tired voice

I watched as Sam disappeared before gripping the two Ghosts even tighter. I needed to make sure they wouldn't escape. "Wait, why don't you two just teleport away like all of the other Ghosts do?" The question had just popped into my head and I couldn't prevent myself from asking. The orange Ghost narrowed his eye and said "It's because you're blocking our Light! You damned monster!"

I chuckled and said "Good." in a bone-chilling voice, or a metal chilling voice...? Minutes had passed and I was beginning to get anxious while waiting for Sam and Leo to arrive. Just as I was about to reach my breaking point, the familiar ashen-haired boy appeared next to me with Sam in tow. I looked toward Leo and asked "Hey, kid, how did you revive your sister that one time? And can you do it again?"

Leo's eyes squinted slightly as he adopted a thoughtful expression before saying "I honestly have no idea. I just did it...and I don't know if I could do it again, even if I tried..." I clicked my tongue and said "Damnit Leo, just try it!" Leo recoiled in surprise before nodding his head and moving over toward Sayuri and Amelia's bodies and hovering his hand over them.

His forehead began to sweat as Darkness began to slowly coil out from his hands and touch their bodies, but it immediately dissipated upon contact. Leo collapsed and his breaths came out in ragged gasps as he said "I...can't do it...there's...something blocking it..." I was observing what he tried to do and immediately moved over to Sayuri and Amelia before pressing the two Ghosts against their stomachs and closing my eyes.

I began to channel my Light through the Ghosts and into their bodies. It was working, I think, because their bodies weren't refusing the Light like before. Slowly, their bodies began to regain its color as the blood on the ground began to crawl back toward them along with their lower bodies, almost like time was being reversed.

Suddenly, the process stopped. I opened my eyes and began to wonder where I went wrong as the two Ghosts stayed silent. "Damnit! What the hell did I miss!? Fuck! Come on, just bring them back damnit!!" I looked up at the Traveler and yelled out, but there was no response. Well, not from the Traveler, anyways.

"Alright, fine. We'll do it. I think things will get interesting if we stay close to you, young Guardian." I looked down at the two Ghosts and saw them floating in front of me instead of in my hands. They turned and their shells began to break apart as a large amount of Light poured out from their bodies to cover Sayuri and Amelia.

I watched as their bodies began to glow with a bright light. It was like I was in a daze. I couldn't look away, even if I wanted too. That's how beautiful this pure form of Light looked. It was like a shining lantern illuminating a path shrouded in Darkness.

When the light began to fade, so too did the Ghosts. Sayuri and Amelia's bodies had their normal color and were devoid of any marks or scars. Fresh tears began to flow down my face as I put my shaking hands on the side of their heads and felt their warm skin and steady breaths.

It truly was a miracle.

"Thank you...Thank you..." These words were all I could mutter as I stared into their content faces as they slept peacefully. I heard Leo get up and walk off somewhere behind me and ask someone "Is he always like this? I mean...he's supposed to be one of the strongest people ever..."

A familiar, robotic voice chuckled and replied "He may be strong, and he may carry the weight of this world on his shoulders, but he is still Human. He's exactly like us, he has emotions and he makes decisions based off of his heart and, in a way, he is the kindest man you will ever meet."

Multiple pairs of footsteps began to sound out behind me as the sounds of armor clanking against itself filled my ears. I turned my tear stained face back over my shoulder and saw hundreds, if not thousands of Guardians all lines up and kneeling. Cayde, Zavala, Ikora, Caarjin, Wraith, Leo, Akina, Sigbrand, Sigwulf, Domenth and his children, and Mara were all in front and kneeling with their heads down.

Zavala stood and said "Guardian, you have protected this city with your life, and we cannot express our gratitude enough. We thank you for returning to us, and we thank you for saving the lives of our people. For that, we will forever be indebt." before slamming his fist against his breastplate. Everyone else stood and did the same as they looked toward me with admiration and respect.

"B-But I abandoned you all...I strayed from the Light, and became a monster...I let countless civilians die because of my carelessness...how can you look at me with respect!?" Zavala looked at me and said "Guardian, it matters not that you have used the Darkness to complete your objectives, because you now shine brighter than any other. I, along with everyone here, place my full trust in you, Guardian. I believe that you will be the one to save us from extinction and wipe the forces of Darkness out for good."

I clenched my fists and grit my teeth as they began to cheer. 'Stop...I don't deserve this...' The cheering and praise began to get louder as more Guardians joined in. 'Stop...Please...' Images of Mac's mangled corpse flashed through my mind as the bodies of the various civilians haunted my vision. I failed, and I can never make up for it...

Blood began to cascade down my hands and onto the ground as my gaze lowered to the ground. I tried to swallow, but there was a lump in my throat and it refused to go away. I felt suffocated by their praise. I felt like I was spitting on all of the civilian's corpses just by being alive, and now I was being praised...?

A warm feeling spread through my body as Mara's arm wrapped me in a gentle embrace, but that just made me feel even worse. I was supposed to give my life in order to resurrect Sayuri and Amelia but, in the end, I still needed help. I realized just how weak and vulnerable I truly was.

Why am I the one who had to make it out alive...? If I would've died, maybe the innocents would still be alive...

"Don't think like that, Lucifer...you did everything you could, and I'm sure those people would want you to live for them...don't dishonor their deaths with your excuses..." I looked down at Mara and asked "You always know what I'm thinking, don't you?" She smiled slightly and replied "Well, you know what they say, true lovers know what their partners are thinking about..."

I flinched slightly and turned my gaze away as I thought 'I don't deserve her...she's too good for someone like me...' Mara stepped on my foot and muttered "Dumbass...if anything you're too good for me...if only you knew of the things I've done..."

I sighed and returned her embrace while organizing my thoughts. I couldn't mope around forever, I needed to stay strong for everyone. Suddenly, I heard two groans behind me and I whipped around to see Sayuri and Amelia sitting up and holding their heads with confused expressions.

I fell to my knees and wrapped them in my arms as I struggled to stay calm. "I'm so sorry...I shouldn't have left you guys...I'm so sorry..." I hugged them tighter as they returned my embrace and began to cry silent tears.

"We've missed you...Lucifer..."