1 XOXO

"strawberries, on a summer evenin'

Baby, you're the end of June

I want your belly and that summer feelin'

Getting washed in you,

Breathe me in, breath me out, "

lyrics of Harry Style's latest summer melody sang melodically from Fleur's new vintage cd player she found at a random garage sale whilst visiting her parents in Kent.

It was already well past noon and the violet, pink array of soothing lights had began to creep themselves over the recently trimmed hedge that served as a border between hers and the neighbours garden. About three hours had past yet Fleur remained lying in the same spot she was. She acknowledged it as taking a chance to acknowledge the environment. But really it was just a distraction. She never liked going in her backyard she said, apparently it smelt of "piss and bird poop".

It wasn't until she felt the long yawn let out followed by a small meow from Cleo who had previously been napping besides her that she realised she was lost in a trance. She readjusted her position and stretched for a few seconds before taking out the CD from the player and heading back inside.

The journey from Fleur's previous spot of relaxation to the garden door was no more than few songs but upon opening the garden door it hit her. The painstaking emptiness that had squeezed itself in the house had settled. Although nothing much had changed she couldn't help but look at everything differently. A deep shadow set itself across the kitchen but was sliced sharply by a slim ray of light. The light had found its way in by a thin gap in the curtain. It was not much yet it brought her a sense of epiphany, like there was a way. But that euphoria was quickly disrupted by a jingle of keys at the front door.

"I'm home," a voice spoke from the front door. It was soothing yet somewhat aggravating. She couldn't quiet place a finger on an emotion to feel about his return. If anything though there was one word that remained in her mind.

Disappointment.

Not of him but herself. Luka had been wavering since the start of their relationship, but she didn't confront him. Not because she was scared of confronting him, but rather the possible outcomes of the after affect. You see, Luka was... interesting. From an outer appearance he was your typical twenty-three-year-old university student. Go to lectures in the morning; do a part time job in the after-noon; and drink or party the moon light away. But really, his daily schedule was somewhat, different? He would complete the first bit, go to uni but then after that everything else was a blurr.

Although, fleur was a curios in nature would follow him. It wasn't a common occurrence, but rather on days she wasn't preoccupied in morning lectures or cooped up in her room gathering every last drop of slumber before the study bells would come ringing. On the ordinary, following him would always prove to be a useless task, however on one particular day, a particularly rainy day, she found herself about to unlock that iron barred door. For the first time she felt like she felt like she had just reeled in a large fish but instead she was returned with the gift of nothingness. The iron bared door which she had just about managed to unlock slammed itself in her face. This time reinforced with pure titanium and columns of concrete block.

What other choice did she have but to return? It wasn't like she could turn back. That day she only felt herself walking blindly into the never ending rabbit hole. But yet it felt as if someone had screwed her mouth shut. She knew Luka saw her that day, but Fleur knew better than to talk about things she shouldn't.

To be frank, she was nothing but the ordinary. Had piano lessons as a child, grew up learning a sport, had good grades, went to an average 6th form, an average university, an "average" boyfriend or so what they said was average, an average house. Even though she had good grades; there was always someone better. Even though she played piano; there was still someone better. Even though she got all high grades in her GCSEs and A-Levels; there was always someone more special. She was so unspectacular that she didn't even know at what point she started writing it as her surname. But there was one thing that made her light flicker a different way. She was lonely. Yes, she had dreams. Aspirations, but no motivation. To figure skate on one of Canada's largest ice rinks, or along sound world renowned skaters in the Olympics. Of course it was something she wanted to do, but after all, dreams are meant to be dreamt. What makes them special is that they'll never come true.

"Fleur," her train of thought was suddenly shifter ajar by the familiar voice, "are you alright?" suddenly more eager than before Luka paced himself to her side gripping her hands. "You've been staring emptily for the past five minutes, is there perhaps something-"

"I'm fine," she cut him short. Not giving him a chance to finish his pity performance she gathered herself. "I'm going to go get changed," Fleur began to make her way up the stairs in her slightly crumpled jumper which had bits of twigs, dirt and grass woven within the yarn.

"It's Friday isn't it?" she murmured to herself. How could she almost forget, Cleo's monthly Check up. She slowly trekked towards the car, returning with three large grocery bags.

Just as Fleur had finished sorting out the groceries, Luka stepped into the house, tying his black hair into a man ban and out of his face.

"Mhm," she nodded switching out her green avocado slippers for a pair of grey trainers.

With Cleo in his little cage Luka pulled out of the driveway. As if on instinct Fleur took out a jumbled up pair of earphones and plugged them into her phone.

Fleur had not even noticed at which point they had gotten so distant that they didn't even sleep in the same room anymore, apart from the few drunken occurrences, now and then. If not, they would make minimal contact if necessary. It was as if they were no more than roommates. Occasionally Fleur would think to herself how did we even get together in the first place. We obviously weren't meant to be.

She would ask herself the same questions every day. "Why?" "Why am I so lonely, if it's such a huge world? "

She pondered deeply over her thoughts, asking and asking, yet never providing a sufficient answer for herself.

Fleur looked out of the window solemnly; it was raining. It was always raining on a Friday evening. At exactly around 7:30 PM. The rain lightly tapped on the window along the rhythm of the song she was listening to.

Fleur had always felt like she didn't deserve her "normal" boyfriend. He was every girl's dream: six-foot-three, sharp jawline, beautiful eyes and a delightful body. But despite all this he was still just a "normal" person. Or well that's what her friends said. According to Ruby, "If he isn't going above and beyond then he isn't that special of a man."

"Did you accidently feed the cat tuna?" Luka turned to face Fleur, breaking her tranquil and peaceful silence. Like a simple drop of water on lake, creating ripples that sent shock waves through her body slightly elevating her heart rate.

She looked at him nervously before looking down and fondling with her fingers. "Sorry. . ." she really didn't know what more to say. All he could do was shake his head, and mutter under his breath.

The cat purred painfully in the back of the car, its discontent with the atmosphere clear.

"It's okay Cleo , we're nearly there," Fleur carefully played with his ear, trying not to aggravate him, "it's okay."

It had been an hour, perhaps two, or maybe even more, yet they seemed to have gotten absolutely nowhere in this Friday traffic. "So, uhm. . . Well," Luka tapped anxiously on his steering wheel trying to form a meaningful sentence. "How was your day?" he looked around trying to avoid eye contact.

"Wow haven't heard that one in a while," Fleur muttered under her breath, her words barely audible.

"What was that?" Luka turned to face her.

"Hm, oh I said just how it's always been," she smiled.

Luka smiled back, "Ah we're here anyways," he turned into the parking lot. "I'll take Cleo in so you just wait inside," Luka got out of the car opening the back door to take Cleo. "Okay," Fleur nodded in return.

Luka trekked up the little hill which the vet was sat upon.

Fleur sat compliantly in the car but soon enough the boredom hit her. Looking around, Fleur undid her seat belt, zipped her coat all the way up and got out of the car. The light blanket of snow that continued to set despite the heavy rain did not seem to comply with the shoes she wore and began to seep in through her shoes to her fluffy winter socks.

"You good ?" Luka called from behind her, his figure slowly peeking up the hill.

"I'm okay," she gave him a thumbs up and proceeded up the hill despite feeling her toes about to freeze off.

"Welcome to PetsCare, how can I help you," a small brown haired lady approached them as they entered through the large double doors. By the time Fleur had reached the top Luka had already caught up to her.

"Uhm we're here for an appointment under the name Luka Ichi," Luka took a neatly folded piece of paper out his pocket and handed it to her.

She looked at it closely, "For your cat Cleo right? I'll take that from you," she took the cat from Luka making sure to be careful, "if you come back tomorrow at 8 am then you can collect details and more."

They both nodded, agreeing with what the lady said. "I'll be off then," she closed the door disappearing into the building, taking Cleo with her.

"Let's head back to the car then," Fleur nodded in the direction the car.

"Wait," Luka slowly approached her.

"Huh-" she turned around to answer him before she felt her self being lifted five feet above the ground.

"Did you think I wouldn't notice your shoes, they're basically dripping wet with rain water." At first she was slightly taken aback by Luka's sudden remark, but soon she found herself in a slightly flushed state. Although their relationship was not much, it was moments like this that kept her slightly hopeful.

She buried her head deep into his fur coat as they journeyed their way back to the car.

The walk back to the car was long and slow. The snowflakes seemed to be falling slower and slower. Its like everything was moving in slow motion, almost as if time had stopped.