1 1- Arranged Marriage

"I deserve an explanation, you just can't walk out on me" I complained to my parents who are now disparsing from the living room after my dad dropped the big news that I was to get married in the next two months to his business partner and childhood friend's son. How would you feel if you were to be told that you were to get married to a complete stranger and that is in two months!!

I followed them to their room barging in without knocking "Abbui i can't do this" I stated firmly which grabbed his attention because he turned my way with a pointed look "I never asked for your consent, you are to get married in two months and that's it!" those words were like solid rocks thrown my way. my mom's face clearly showed worry and sympathy for who, me?

"Hun, this is a delicate issue, can we atleast give her a chance" my mom's soft voice echoed throughout the room. "what chance zakiya? Layla isn't a little girl anymore. she has come of age, it's time for her to leave home to start her own and family". Tears began to well up, blurring my vision slowly. "But I don't wanna leave home, I want to stay here, with you" I run into mom's arms hugging her tight "mom please talk to him, don't let him send me away" I felt soft hands welcome me, hugging me tighter as if they wanted to hide me from the whole world. I allow silent tears to fall from my eyes. was this it?, I'm I getting married?, to a complete stranger?. what happened to all the dreams I had, the promises I made to myself, to all the hopes I built up all these years. They were going to be broken and torn apart. I was going to marry a total nobody. I break free from my mother's arms running to my room, locking the door, my back collides with its hard surface and I slide down sitting on the floor, lowering my forehead to my knees allowing the water works to explode free.

I cried the whole night, I couldn't stop the anger that was formed earlier towards my father. He promised me he would protect me, love me and listen to me. He broke all those promises with just one decision. I know arranged marriages is a very common thing to Muslims but this is not how it should be, both parties should be in favour. our reality demands more than that. what my father wants to do is force me in an arrangement with some boy I hardly know. I can't accept this. I won't accept this!.

I heard gentle knockings on the door, followed by the shaking of the door handle "Layla please open the door" mom's appealing voice rang through my ears. ofcourse she can't do anything for me, when Dad makes a decision nobody can withheld it not even mom. It's against our religious perspectives for a woman to go against the judgments made by their husbands for those who are not married and the opposite gender, you follow the orders of parents and the Islamic tarbiyat.

Alhamdulillah, my parents have done their best to make sure I get both educations so I can excel in life at the same time do a lot more for the after life. according to the Islamic rituals I can't get married without a Walii's approval who can happen to be a father, uncles from both sides, a brother whom you share a mother with or a Qadhi. It is also true that in Islam we are given the highest forms of addressing our parents with pure obedience without going against any of their wishes unless it happens the wish is beyond the bounds of the religion and even so we are to decline in the most polite of way.

I don't wanna hurt my parents but being only twenty two years, I'm not sure if I'm ready to carry the responsibilities they come with marriage and family. How can I decline my father without breaking his heart in the process. I don't know what to do! I feel like something is chocking my breath away, getting up from the floor I walked to my bed throwing my body on the black double bed, stuffing my face in the pillow to cry some more.

I woke up to strong knocks coming from my door, checking the time on the bedside table reads 05:30 Am, I peel the covers away, I head for the door to open it. I am met with light brown eyes similar to my own ones. the memories of yesterday evening came floating back and my mood instantly took a 180. "Assalam Alaykum" she greeted first. I turn my eyes away from her replying to the greeting "waalaykum salaam ummy" she stretched her hand to pat my hair bringing her face close, she pecked my forehead "it's salat time, pray fajr, everything is going to be okay" with that she held the handle and closed the door.

the sun was coming out from its hidding to light up the city. the morning rays peeked from the curtains in my room causing me a discomfort in my eyes, I slowly force them open getting accustomed to the amount of light.

I check the time and breath out a long breath when 07:12am, I've slept in a bit but it's okay since it's Saturday I have no work just house chores. In the shower again memories of yesterday evening haunted me back, it still felt surreal, How I'm I going to cope living with people I barely know. from what I know they are Americans too, I have American blood too from my father with Syrian traits from my mom, which I didn't take for granted from the hair which is flowing to my waist line, the chocolate eyes and the semi-arabic skin tone, all put together came a very beautiful creation. I've met uncle Osman plenty of times but none from his family since we live in different states. turning off the faucet, I walk out of the bathroom to dry myself. opening the closet I pick out a red floor length skirt with a white long sleeved dress shirt I pair it with a white scarf after fixing my hair in a low bun.

I, exit the room to the kitchen where I find Ummy preparing kirbit batata (mashed potatoes with minced meat) walking towards the sink I turn the tap washed my hands with running water. I made sure they were rinsed of lotion and other beauty product I applied and started helping out with breakfast. besides the greeting I did not start any conversation or tried to communicate. It was time to set the table when Muna walked in my seventeen years old young sister. she jumped on me "I heard the good news!" she began making a riot "what good news" for a moment I forgot about the marriage arrangement "My ukhti-l kabira, is getting married soon!" I got a glimpse of mom putting her index finger on her lips sending a signal to Muna to shut up and drop the topic. she looked at mom and back at me, her enthusiasm slowly began dying down and her eyes widen a fraction "you're not happy?" she asked softly inspecting my face for any giveaways of this facade being a joke "No, I'm not" I went back to picking the dishes and disappeared with them out of the kitchen.

I returned to the kitchen to carry the last dish, I find mom scolding Muna in hushed tones, "she's done nothing wrong" mom quickly looks up to me and so did Muna "This was yours and dad's decisions, that I should get married to a ghurayb (stranger) so it's only fair if we cheer to that" the tears began to prick at the edges of my eyes threatening to fall, I wiped them away instantly leaving for the dining room with what I came to fetch in my arms.

Dad came down for breakfast after mom went to get him, Muna went into his arms greeting him affectionately, I on the other hand settled for a tight greeting and went on serving everyone with the dishes mom and I prepared. We began eating, everybody digging into their plates when dad broke the silence first "masha'Allah! the samosa is tasty" mom smiled and looked my way "Layla prepared them". "my Allah (s.w) always bless your hands to prepare even tastier meals in your home" I shifted in my position while nodding to the Du'a, we were halfway through when dad broke the silence again " I got a phone call yesterday from Osman, they'll be our guests next Sunday, they're coming with Asad to begin the early procedures" I touched the glass extra firmly "But I haven't agree to this" I spoke softly trying to appeal to my father, he sipped from his tea calmly to look at me after putting back the cup to its saucer "This will be the first time you ever disobeyed me" I was about to clarify when dad raised his hand to stop me "the boy is from a decent family, he is god fearing with a good upbringing, do you have a good enough reason to refuse him?" To think of it I didn't have a good enough reason "Is there someone else" my dad's voice brought me out of my thoughts, his face distorted in way to show disapproval "No! Abbui, there's n-no one"I spoke cowardly, his facial expression soften a little "Then I would trust you to be on your best behaviour and not do anything to bring me to shame Infront of the Abassis'. Much less Asad himself" with that he stood up to peck mom and Muna on their foreheads and it was my turn after giving me a peck he muttered soft words that broke my heart into two "whatever I'm doing its for your own good, I'd never make wrong decisions for my daughter, have faith in the almighty" I nodded towards him and he left after wards.

Asad... so that's your name.