1 Chapter 1

Have you ever had the feeling that a person you thought you would be with forever turns out to be the reason you are afraid to try love again?

It's kind of sad to think that the person you used to tell every single day has now no idea what's going on in your life. He fell first, but she fell harder. It's hard to move on when he made me feel that I deserved to be loved. Ever since he disappeared, I've had a hard time liking others. I don't have the courage to like someone because he put me in a situation where if it's not him, then I will not.

You always say that you are not ready to get into a relationship again, but in reality, all you are doing is waiting for someone to come back. At that moment, you can simply say, "You are still the most painful pain, the genuine pain that is not forced, the pain that is so bad that everything will go away, but happy at the same time, because in a short period of time, someone finally made me realize a lot of things. You have shown me the standard I need. I can't forget everything."

I learned that we cannot unlove someone. We can accept the things will come to an end, but we cannot unlove them. We simply go with the flow and move forward, but if you truly loved them, they will always be in your heart, but your love for them will no longer grow.

Almost a love story.



september 13, 2020

Our coach and English teacher yelled, "Selene! Make it faster, we are going to be late, I mean, we are already late but we would be even more late if you walked so slowly," so I sped my pace when I discovered I was the only one waiting for the school service. When I walked into the school service, everyone was looking at me.

In order to prepare for the competition, we will train in journalism at Southville International School for a month on Saturdays. Additionally, we are nearly four hours late for the first day of training since we had to attend an event at our school in the morning before heading to the training.

Because of how close the school was, we arrived there in just 30 minutes. Before we eventually left, the school services were parked on the side. Ally was near the end while I was at the front, so I waited for her to go before doing so. When she got down, she made a comment about being late before and said, "Why did you take so long?"

" Ah, that's because my mother wants me to finish eating my lunch even though she knows I'll be late, so she won't let me leave until I do."

All of our school's participants arrived on the Southville campus, but we chose to remain to the side because our coach instructed us to do so. Even though I'm doing these things for the second time, I'm still anxious—not about the training, but more about the people. Knowing that I was assigned to news writing and that I am the only one in that category makes it very difficult for me to meet new people. I was envious of my friends because they were all assigned to write features, so I had no one to hang out with.

While we were standing there waiting for Ms. Geraldine to return, I noticed Janella sitting on the bench behind us. She was by herself and appeared to be reading the literature review we had studied the day before. I so made the choice to approach her and sit next to her. She realized I was sitting next to her and gave me a blank stare. I asked her as I began our talk, "Do you feel nervous?" She gave me the same brief response I was used to: "K-kinda."

Even though I enjoy writing, I don't write like this. Before my homeroom teacher found out, she is the one who got me into this shit; I used to write a novel when I was bored. This was my second experience, although I'm still unaware of it. She just persuaded me to join because she promised to give us extra points. Teachers frequently manipulate students by using that power card.

Since we are all wearing plain white shirts and one of the restrictions of this program prohibits us from recognizing one another before to the competition and from using our true identities in general, I looked around while we waited and noticed a few students, but I couldn't tell where their school was from. Since everyone gathered in the cafeteria, it appears that they are taking a break for lunch.

After a few minutes of waiting, Mrs. Geraldine—our English teacher and coach—finally showed up. She was carrying some papers as she came approaching us. She gave us a tiny ribbon as she got close to us, asking us to attach it to our shirts so they will know we are participants. I filled the paper that Ms. Geraldine was holding after tying the ribbon around my shirt.

Mrs. Geraldine announced, and everyone concurred, "After you fill out that paper, start looking for your room; you can easily find it since there are names of each category outside the door, so just look for it." Janella and Ally said goodbye to me since they had the same category and I was the only one who would be separated.

I simply hugged them and wished them luck, and they reciprocated. The news writing English category is on the second floor, so I walked up there right away as I started walking and noticed the posters displayed in the hallway. There were several rooms when I got up, so I considered looking to see which one fell under my category.

I was relieved to see "News writing English category" printed on the door when I reached the first room, so I didn't have any trouble finding it right away. However, I peered through the window first to see that they were starting and that there were so many random students inside. Because I was so anxious and wanted to flee, I could feel my heart racing more quickly.

When I turned the doorknob, my hands started to tremble, and I know the students will stare at me when I open this door, which will make me feel even more embarrassed. The teacher in front looked strict when I turned to look at him. It would have been quite awkward for me to open this door and enter because I was late, they had already begun, and I didn't know them.

He stood tall and was dressed in striped sweatshirt and a pants. Is he also participating in this? Why didn't he have a white shirt on? Or perhaps he was simply concealing it with his striped sweater while wearing it. Then I understood why I had moved: I had been blocking him. I responded, "I'm sorry," but he was already grabbing the doorknob. Everyone was staring at him when he opened the door, as I had predicted.

He opened the door, but instead of going inside, he left it open. He then turned to face me.


I never expected him to give me the signal to enter, but he did. I made an effort to avoid making eye contact with other students when I entered the room for this reason. Then, while I stood to the side because I didn't know where to sit, the man shut the door and stood up next to me. The coach responded, "You must be a newcomer. Please have a seat near the front in the left side." I described him incorrectly since he is nice.

"Thank you"

Before ultimately moving to the vacant seat, I spoke to the man next to me with a smile on my face. I didn't wait for his reaction, and I could tell he felt the same way.

To be continued...