4 Filthy as Ditchwater

The alarm went off and Deeb smacked her hand down on the phone as hard as she possibly could… five times. It was definitely more than necessary, but the alarm had the audacity to wake her up at the time she told it to, and that was just not ok in her humble opinion. She did get up though. She promised she would go out with her friends and she needed to wash her hair and who knew, maybe going out would help her decompress from the seemingly tireless nature of her visions? It couldn't be healthy to be holed up at home, wrapped in a blanket, staring at the wall just waiting for the next onslaught of sensory information to come clambering in. Worse came to worst, she'd see how the visions behaved after a drink or two. That was exciting at least. And she'd get to know the new guy from Power Distribution. She was pretty sure his name was Noah, but it usually took her 7 reminders to remember anyone's name, so she wasn't about to place any bets on the subject.

Deeb reckoned that Kalika would be proud as she actually took the time to properly dry her hair with a diffuser and protective topicals. The ringlets fell lightly instead of clumping into a lopsided monolith with a few escapees sticking straight out. Satisfied, she turned her attention to her makeup, and only had to redo her eyeliner once before it ended up with good symmetrical points. She wouldn't bother quite so much, but Shelley and Ramon seemed to think that the table got more free drinks when she put a little more effort in. The numbers didn't lie, but she was sure there had to be another explanation. And regardless, the day she'd pay a sender any attention would be the day he sent over nachos. Or both. But the nachos were an essential part of the deal.

The cold shoulder part of her shirt was held together by crossing straps and Deeb cursed as she tried to get her arms through them without getting tangled. She was not successful and briefly rethought her life choices. Once she finally got her arms through, having run completely out of patience, she yanked the shirt down into place (then up into place, because as usual, she pulled just a little too far). It was navy blue and ruched front and center. It was not practical in the slightest, but it covered the important bits and some not so important bits, and it looked pretty, so she supposed it did its job well, even if it wouldn't cut it for work. Or half the things she found herself doing lately, for that matter. It was probably the last time she'd be able to wear it for another several months, since despite the cold shoulder, it was long sleeved and the weather was warming up fast. In the drawer below the one where she kept her practical jeans and khakis, there were jeans made of a flimsier, even more elastic denim. They were actually meant to look good. If they got snagged on the fences or an unfortunately shaped lever, or even the suspiciously-not-blunt knob on her desk drawer, they were toast, but they looked good, and she probably wouldn't snag them on anything at the pub, right? She might get them a little dirty if she drank enough to lose her balance and fall into a ditch, but she learned her lesson those two times, she wouldn't drink enough to let that happen! And they could handle some dirt, just not much wear and tear. It was not a graceful affair getting them on. By the time she was done, Deeb was huffing, wheezing, and sweating just a little, enough to make her briefly debate taking another shower and starting over. The fact that her shoes were not flat was not helping matters any. All that effort just to look pretty! On one hand, she thought it was ridiculous, but on the other hand, she did like looking pretty. And people were nicer to her when she looked pretty. She didn't particularly like interacting with strangers, but interacting with a stranger was the first step to making a friend. So she supposed the effort was worth it. She felt that she had enough friends, she wasn't going to go out actively trying to make more, but if she made more, she wouldn't complain.

Town glittered with various shades of white(ish) light. Deeb liked the glow of the yellowish ones best and was shocked to find out in elementary school that lights used to all be yellowish because they used to be a glass bulb surrounding a coil of hot metal. There was also apparently an awkward period before LEDs where people used bulbs of fluorine gas and other trace elements. Not only were they dangerous to handle when broken, the light they gave off was harsh and flickery. Who would want that?! She pulled up to Haberschmidt's and parked around back. The private party on the back patio looked like a classy event, though most anything would look classy under string lights. There were lots of snacks, a few kegs, and a small, but well stocked bar. The bartender looked bored, but at least seemed to be amused by the conversations happening around him. She went back around to the front where Lauren and Ramon were waiting.

"Hey guys, how's your weekend been?"

Ramon did a half nod to say so-so. Lauren clasped her hands together and giggled. "Great! I've gotten absolutely nothing done!"

Deeb flicked her left index finger into a point. "Now THAT is what we like to hear."

Shelley made her way from around back, in a rush like she had just been bothered by something, but she relaxed when she saw the group. "Ramon is just cranky because we had to do professional development today."

Lauren and Deeb groaned and Shelley grunted. "Tell me about it."

They were all waiting on the new guy from power distribution or they would have taken this conversation inside. Instead, they stood on the sidewalk talking about the motivational speaker, who seemed to sport motivational speaking as his one and only life experience, making it rather difficult to motivate people who were already motivated by the fact that… the community needs power. Without power, the world stops.

Lauren checked her watch. "If this guy doesn't get here in the next five minutes, we're going inside without him."

Deeb echoed her sentiment. "Yeah, how do you even know this guy, Shelley? Power distribution is on the other side of the facility from logistics!"

Shelley looked at her phone for the time and frowned. "I caught him on my lunch break one day and he seemed nice, let's hope he's usually more punctual than this."

Just as they were about the head inside, a man with rust colored hair, a smile that looked perfect until you noticed it was just a little uneven, and eyes the color of spent soil just before recomposting approached them. "Uh, hi guys, sorry I'm late. I'm Cullen. I met Shelley the other day?"

"Hi Cullen, I'm Lauren, I work in flow management."

"I'm Ramon, I also work in flow management."

"I'm Deeb, I'm a logistical engineering watchman.

Cullen gave her a confused look. "Your name is Deeb? What kind of name is that?"

Shelley laughed nervously. "Dude, you don't just say that to someone, much less a stranger!"

Deeb shrugged her shoulders. "Yeah, that's my name, I don't exactly have another one. I bet you make a lot of friends."

Lauren laughed at the obvious sarcasm. Ramon hid his laughter a little better.

"Sorry, sorry, knee-jerk reaction! But come on, what were your parents thinking?"

Deeb and Ramon shared a look to communicate that she already knew she probably wasn't going to like this guy. Shelley was clearly embarrassed. They didn't dignify him with a response.

They found a nice high table and pulled a chair from another grouping of four to make five. Lauren went to get everyone drinks. "The usual for everyone?"

They all affirmed. "Pick your poison, new guy."

"Gin and tonic, thanks."

They all transferred her the money and helped Cullen find her on the wiring app. Shelley tried to restart the conversation. "So Deeb, I heard Lauren and Ramon found you a dog to play with earlier this week!"

She laughed. "Yes, we have no idea who he belongs to, but he seems to know where he's going. We're calling him Reginald!"

"Does he have a collar? If he's fluffy, maybe you just didn't see it."

Deeb shrugged. "Nope, and he's a doberman, so it's definitely not lost in the nonexistent fluff. And he always fucks-off in a different direction, so I can't even narrow down the area."

Ramon pointed emphatically. "What do you mean, 'always fucks-off in a different direction'? We only saw him once!"

Deeb raised her eyebrows and looked to the side. "So… I may have seen him again. And stopped to play with him. For several hours. This morning."

Ramon threw his hands in the air. "And you didn't tell us?! I feel so betrayed!" At that moment, Lauren returned with the drinks and Ramon informed her of the perceived slight. "Lauren, Deeb saw Reginald again and didn't tell us!"

Deeb pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed loudly. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys, I didn't think you'd want to see him so bad. It was some real freaky shit, if you know what I mean."

Everybody but Cullen nodded understandingly. He made a snide comment. "Being obsessed with dogs is kinda juvenile, you know. Most girls grow out of that by the time they're 10."

Deeb responded matter-of-factly. "I don't give a fuck and will continue to pet as many dogs as I want."

They made small talk about work, since that was all they really felt comfortable discussing with a newcomer. It was still amusing conversation, just not the usual dynamic.

It took approximately 30 minutes for the first drink to come over. Deeb frowned. "Alright guys, you know the drill. We have four now, so it makes the rock-paper-scissors easier!" Lauren and Ramon played first and Lauren won, with a grin and a "finally!". Shelley and Cullen played and Cullen won. Deeb was pretty sure Shelley let him. That was a first for her, she was usually all over the tournament. Cullen and Lauren played and Lauren won again. She was clearly happy with that result. Shelley and Ramon played and Shelley won, no longer concerned with social graces.

Deeb grinned. "Alright, tonight's order is Lauren, Cullen, Shelley, Ramon."

She slid the drink over to Lauren. "It looks like a cosmopolitan, so it's your lucky day!"

Lauren squealed in delight.

Cullen was confused. "Wait, what exactly is going on?"

Shelley took on the task of explaining the tournament in a grandiose manner with lots of hand gestures, as she was prone to do when one drink in. "So any time we go out to any place where alcohol is at all present, all kinds of guys send Deeb drinks. I mean, Lauren and I get some too, but she definitely gets the haul. She can't drink all that, so we have a tournament every time to determine the order of rotation. So based on the scheme of today's tournament, Lauren gets the first drink, you get the second, I get the third, and Ramon gets the fourth, then the cycle continues!"

"Why can't you drink all that?"

Deeb laughed. "Well, you see, if I get more than a tiny bit tipsy, I have a talent for falling into ditches."

Lauren interjected. "It's hilarious, but it does hurt sometimes, and ruined a shirt once, so we don't push her."

Cullen was still confused. "O…K? Well, what if Deeb wants to accept a drink? Like one drink."

She cocked her head, wondering if he was stupid. "Well of course I can take one out of the rotation, but I generally prefer to buy my own because I don't want the guy getting the wrong idea… I used to try to return them, but nobody would take them back, so that's why we started the rotation."

Cullen was getting frustrated and a little annoyance at the system seeped out. "No, I mean what if you like one of the guys."

The entire table looked at him like he was stupid. It was the only socially acceptable option since none of them really liked his tone and the only other option was to ask why it was clearly annoying him. Shelley laughed and Ramon spoke up. "That… doesn't happen. Never has."

Lauren rolled her eyes. "She says she'll only accept the guy who sends over something specific, and apparently none of the drinks are ever it."

He was finally getting some answers! "Oh, so what's the secret drink?"

Deeb looked at him like he was definitely stupid and spoke very slowly. "I can't tell anyone that because they might tell one of the guys and that would defeat the purpose."

He chuckled. "Well, I guess I won't refuse free drinks."

Shelley slapped him on the back, a little harder than he was prepared for. "That's the spirit!"

As Shelley was showing her excitement, the next drink arrived. Deeb liked appletinis, but she wasn't about to give anyone the wrong idea, and she definitely wasn't going to get any more than a little bit tipsy.

Their riveting conversations included what the heck is up with Francis from Maintenance, the price of blueberries skyrocketing, the newest social media updates, the strange lack of rain ever since that one really gloomy day, Cullen making fun of Deeb for not wanting to drink too much, which kind of fries are the best, the best way to get a stray cat into your house, why is there a new bus driver, a terrifying bird Lauren saw the other day (its head, very long neck, and long sharp beak blended seamlessly), the fact that Deeb's parents didn't think she'd know she's adopted, which house plants die the least, how to properly boil pasta, Shelley's massive family, expectation vs reality when things go wrong at work, dealing with awful people without being too petty, and the construction projects going on downtown.

When Cullen went off to do only God knows what, they got down to more serious business. Shelley pinched the bridge of her nose. "Sorry about the rocky start with him, guys. He seemed to have much better social graces."

Deeb hugged her from the side. "He didn't make the best first impression, but that's not super important. What's more important is what the hell was bothering you on your way here? Before you took a jab at professional development, you looked like you were on the warpath."

Lauren passed over the drink she had just gotten from the cycle. "Did those teenagers try to scare you in the middle of the street again?"

Ramon grinned. "Is there someone who is in dire need of their tires being slashed? Or the air let out multiple nights a week until they go mad?"

Shelley laughed. "Ramon, I think you're the closest, though I don't think we could ever do that. It was just the people I was sitting next to at professional development were making fun of the way I laugh. So what if I cackle a little?! Not everyone can have an adorable laugh!"

Lauren raised her hand. "I, for one, love your hyena laugh."

Deeb slapped her hand on the table. "And I'm with Ramon on this one. What do their cars look like?"

She got a text from a casual friend from high school and she read it under the table.

"Hey, Deeb, are you at Haberschmidt's?"

"Yeah, long time no see, Anish! How are you?"

"There's this guy here, he's going around asking people about you. Something about a special drink, where you live, and 'what your deal is' Do you know him?"

She hoped nobody at the table could see her face graven. She'd decide if she was telling the group about this later. "Unfortunately. Shelley invited the new guy from work and I'm obviously not his biggest fan. Thanks for letting me know. We should catch up soon."

"Yeah, and don't worry, nobody is telling him anything. Real creeper vibe. And we should totally catch up!"

"Why do I get the feeling I'm gonna end up slapping this guy?"

"Not gonna lie, we've been placing bets over here since he started heading back to wherever you are."

"I'm sure I don't need to tell you were to put your money…"

After Cullen returned, the conversation returned to less personal matters, such as whether or not it's a good idea to wear a white shirt to a dog park, how to befriend a duck, and how fearless the squirrels on the northeast side of town had been lately. Deeb made the executive decision to order a party plate of nachos for the table. She told herself it was being responsible, but she really just liked cheese.

The group was tipsy on the stuff people were just starting to slow down on sending over. It was a good night for Lauren and Shelley, and even Ramon got a drink. "Now now, you guys may want to stop, we really should be going soon and you all need to be sober enough to drive!"

Lauren looked at Ramon point blank. "You're the designated driver."

Ramon groaned loudly. "I'm ALWAYS the designated driver!"

She jabbed him in the side. "That's what you get for being my roommate."

Ramon rolled his eyes. "Cullen, I'm sure Shelley would be your designated driver."

"No, no, I'm good, I wouldn't want to keep her up."

Shelley sighed. "I should sober up anyway, I've got an early morning tomorrow. Cousin's birthday party. I got suckered into helping set up."

Being the only one left in the drink rotation, Lauren got the few drinks still being sent over to Deeb. This was, in honesty, not the best idea. It was a terrible idea, in fact. However, Lauren did not care and had no reservations about getting so shit-faced that Ramon would have to walk her out to the car and probably make sure she ended up in her bed instead of on the floor.

Ramon dragged Lauren to their car and Shelley started making her way back to where she parked, a little ways away from the building. Deeb stopped for a second to confirm her phone and keys were in her purse and noticed Cullen just standing there.

"What, you're not even going to walk Shelley to her car? She's parked all the way in the other lot."

He looked clueless and had an arrogant air to his tone, brought out by the alcohol. "Um, no?"

Deeb rolled her eyes. "Wow, I'm sure you make a lot of friends. Somebody's got to be a gentleman, I guess."

She latched her purse, raised her shoulders, and started stalking off in Shelley's direction, but was cut short by falling right face first into a ditch. Crawling out of the mud, she was met with Cullen's exclamations of "Good God, are you ok? Where did that ditch even come from?!"

She wiped some of the dirt off her face. "I told you. I have a talent for this. That's why I don't drink much."

Ramon had halfway come back from his car. He gave Deeb the classic "Is that guy bothering you?" look. She gestured her head over in Shelley's direction and gave him the "I can handle myself, go walk Shelley to her car" look. He hurried over.

Cullen had, for some godforsaken reason, sat on the edge of the ditch with her. And she was about ready to lose her temper. She hoped Anish would get a good payoff.

He stared off into the dark sky. "What are you doing here, Deeb?"

She huffed in indignation. "What do you mean, what am I doing here? I live here!"

"You don't belong here."

"What in the ever-loving fuck are you talking about?!"

"You're so beautiful it hurts to look at you. And you have an ordinary watchman job. And hang out with an ordinary group of people. You're special. And this is not a place for special people. What are you doing here?"

She had had it. She hadn't liked this guy from the beginning and she could only hope Shelley wouldn't be mad at her for what she was about to do.

"Who the hell do you think you are? You were kindly invited out by a lovely woman, who only hoped that you would feel more comfortable in an unfamiliar new workplace. And you spend the whole time issuing backhanded compliments and being judgemental of my personal choices." She was beginning to take on a hiss. "And don't think I don't know what you were doing on your little field trip. For someone who allegedly doesn't belong here, I've got a lot of friends who are all too willing to inform me when some douchebag is being a creep and asking strangers for my personal information." Cullen was shocked that she knew that and started leaning away from her, since it was clear she was only ramping up. "I can only assume several potential reasons you could be trying to drive a wedge here, but it's not going to fly. How dare you insult my friends, who only wanted to be nice to you, which isn't going to last when I tell them about this, by the way. How dare you tell me I don't belong in the only place I've ever known? You don't even know me! How would you know my place in this society? How dare you say ordinary like it's a bad thing? You don't know me well enough to call me special. And you will never know the people you just called ordinary well enough to know how special they are, so fuck you, man. You think I've never heard the 'beautiful and special' line before? I have, and it's never been so disrespectful as this. 'Not like other girls' isn't flattering when it puts down the other girls, or in this case, everyone I love."

Cullen made the monumentally terrible decision to reply. "You conceited bitches are all the same, can't take a compliment and think you're too good for anybody who falls at your feet. All this rejecting you're doing because a man isn't perfect is going to catch up with you eventually."

Deeb saw red and stood up. Cullen stood to meet her eyes, but this was a bad decision as she was gesturing angrily and was about to start grabbing collars. "So let me get this straight. Despite knowing nothing but my name and face, you're assuming my motives on a deeply personal matter and insulting me for having basic autonomy?! You reek of entitlement and if I never saw you again, it would be too soon. It sounds like you're getting rejected because spoiler alert! Women don't like being treated like toys!"

This is where she started the collar grabbing. Cullen was starting to realize he made a mistake because she was a lot stronger than she looked. "I don't know what Shelley saw in you, because you are nothing but a scumbag and a creep and maybe nobody has deemed you worthy enough to give you a head's up about that, but it's the truth, and I want you to think about that for a long time. But I'm happy because you're going to leave and neither I nor any of my friends are going to see you again! Because I'll make sure of it. Mark my words. They can make their own decisions, I suppose. But if I ever see you again, there will be hell to pay."

With that, she let go of his collar and he stumbled backwards into the ditch, which started to deepen, pouring clumps of dirt on him. Water burst from the west side, as if from a broken pipe. The stream stopped after its brief gush, leaving Cullen scrambling out of the ditch, now covered with mud. He ran, confused as to what had just happened. Deeb would have felt bad, but she supposed that would probably keep him away from her. Her second thought was on how they got the water shut off so quickly that the broken pipe stopped leaking so quickly, since it was clearly a main line. Her third thought was that the ditch was nowhere near a main line. Or a fault line for that matter. And yet looking at it, even if it was there earlier in the night, it was nowhere near that deep.

Deeb plopped back down at the edge of the ditch and stared into the muddy depths. Yet another weird phenomenon to add to the puzzle. She was covered in loose dirt from the deepening and tried to wipe it off, but only managed to smear it with sweat. A woman with a short beehive hairdo, probably approaching 60, sat down next to her.

"Rough night, sweetie?"

Deeb smeared the makeup on her right eye with a tearful swipe of her dirty hand. "You have no idea."

"Creep?"

"Yeah. My friend invited him and he ended up being a womanizer of the second to worst kind."

"He'll get what's coming to him. I've seen it many times."

Deeb let out a deranged chuckle. "Oh, we don't have to wait. He ended up in that muddy ditch as it briefly flooded. He had fear in his eyes. I have no idea how it deepened to the point he had to climb out or where it got the water to flood, but I think it was enough to make him stay far away."

The woman grabbed her left hand with soft fingers and looked her in the eyes for what seemed like a really long time, but was only a few seconds. "Ah, how could I have not seen? You're kissed by Althea. It's been a long time since I've seen one of you, I thought they had all left. You're young, you must have been the last."

Deeb was confused, but she'd seen worse. "What do you mean? Who are you?"

"I'm Janet. I'm a liaison. I would have been called a priestess in old days, but we're not super fond of that word. And I'm rather useless now that the old gods are dead. When I was around 30, the oldest started to stop appearing. Some can still be heard through whispers, collapsed into their domains, unable to be contained by their physical forms. Others disappeared, never to be seen again, dead by the hand of a contemporary. They were all gone by the time I was 42. Althea was the goddess of the river. She was one of the last to go, went very suddenly. She didn't collapse into her domain, the water doesn't contain her whispers. The ones who collapsed showed years of discomfort in their physical forms as they filled domains with power their bodies couldn't handle. Althea wasn't struggling with that. Those people she blessed were especially in tune with the waterways and irrigation. They could sense things that seemed impossible to know, but I've never seen one have any degree of control before. You look young, like she must have blessed you shortly before she disappeared. There are a few of her chosen left, but they've scattered, subject to conflict amid the chaos of the old gods dying, and useless after their matron's death. You've just come of age, haven't you? Not legal age. 18 is too young."

"Yes."

"You must have a terrible sense of foreboding lately with all those dead bodies that have been winding up in ditches."

"Yeah, the gore is terrible. I'm getting used to it, but seeing dead bodies and all the other nasty stuff that ends up in ditches is not doing wonders for my sleep."

Janet looked spooked. "Wait wait wait, you SEE things? Like not just sense them, actually SEE them?"

"Uh, yeah? … did your people not?"

"No. They just have, or had, a sixth sense kind of thing. I've never seen one someone be able to see things through the kiss of Althea."

Deeb was frustrated and felt the need to be sarcastic. "Oh. Fantastic."

"Your name is Deeb, right? I think I remember hearing that guy ask about that name in there."

"Deeb Levitt, at your service."

"The blessed scattered long ago, but I'm going to try to find one for you. We'll be in contact."

The woman handed her a wet wipe out of her purse. "Janet, what were they running from? Am I gonna be ok?"

Janet smiled sadly. "Of course you will. The old gods are dead. Get home safe, now, before any more pipes burst under you."

Deeb listened.