22 Zar'un

I sat done at my desk after the deed was done and sighed in relief. It was over. It was done. I killed them. So why did I feel more nervous than ever? As I adjusted myself in my seat, I felt a discrepancy in my breeches causing me to look down and find a marron crusty stain in my black pants. Dry blood. Probably from this morning. Hells. I hadn't slept since, since yesterday morning.

I rubbed at my eyes to keep my eyes open just a little bit longer. I didn't want to fall asleep, there was too much to do.

I should've felt relieved. The murderers were caught and justice was served. Even if it was on children no older than 12. It wasn't guilt I felt, no. I've done worse, I'll admit it. I did what I did to keep this city from blowing up. Maybe it still will, I don't know, but I at least postponed it. If they could get away with killing Fire Nation soldiers, who couldn't? I had to make the consequences known as to dissuade further violence.

Violence is still going to happen, no doubt. Food is running low. I heard the reports from our outposts outside Ba-Sing-Se. They've been making their final harvest, carrying their food and equipment inside the massive walls, burning and salting the farmland behind them.

The only success we've been having is intercepting the farmers for their harvests before they enter the city. I've heard rumors from our outposts that within the great city, they were unaware a war even existed. How the hell could they not have noticed? What were they doing with the thousands of refugees fleeing from the carnage? Maybe I didn't want to know.

But when it came to food, the situation was bad. Very bad. I don't know how much longer we can stay fed. The Homeland isn't a big exporter of grains or livestock. We've been relying on Earth Kingdom land for that. But now, but now, even that is becoming less reliable. One of these days, the last farmer will pack his things and enter the city. Even those loyal to the Fire Nation will become less reliant on us, and see better opportunities within the walls. And when that last farmer leaves, this city will be on its own, and those inside will be killing each other for the last grain of rice.

I did was I thought was necessary, but I was just postponing the inevitable. Without new trade routes, without new sources of food, this city will fall, and it will fall right on top of me, where the Fire Nation will blame me for its failure and It'll be a downward spiral from there, assuming I lived to see a future beyond this deathtrap of a city.