59 Luke

I woke up facing a dead man, his dead eyes accusing me from beyond the grave. Stop. I wanted to yell at him. Stop staring at me. But the words refused to form, as though stuck in my throat. I wanted to say something more. I don't know if it was pleading for forgiveness or asking what I could do next. He'd give me advice in the past. When I had problems of my own. He always put the needs of others in front of his own, whether he was helping a young naïve slum kid find his way in the world or helping a group of homeless children fight for survival. The latter would get him killed. But that's what happens to nice people, isn't it? They get killed. They waste their life helping others and end up losing it in the end. Losing it all. Not just his life, but everything.

My head still lay there, on the ground as I stared at his lifeless eyes, a mix of blood and salt from tears combining on my face. I pulled an arm from under me and reached over to him, placing a hand on his brow. It was cold and stony. His body had lost all warmth and life with it. I let my hands fall, closing his eyes so he could finally be at peace. And finally stop accusing me. I rolled onto my back, letting my hair soak in the pile of blood that was now beginning to dry on the ground as I started up at the stone ceiling. It was falling apart. The wall, the ceiling, everything. I could see the stars through the cracks in the roof. Every now and then, as I scanned the ceiling, I would find a ray of moonlight shining through. When I looked longer, I could even make out individual stars. I had never been told about the constellations of the night sky, no. We taught ourselves that. There was the broken blade whose jagged point faced north. There was the Fire Dragon whose snout pointed Southwest.

I don't know how long I had life there, but when I could hear the sounds of people gathering outside, suddenly curious of the commotion coming from inside now that the Hornets were gone. I let myself stand up, leaning against the counter to support myself. I looked around the shop to see it had been completely ransacked. Not just the weapons and money. Everything. All gone. Because of me. I rubbed my eyes clear of any sign that I had been crying the least bit before leaving. It wasn't so much for Mishi that I cried. I cried because I felt betrayed. The Hornets, they just left me. When I tried to defend Mishi, they just pushed me down and abandoned me. Like I wasn't one of them.

No. No. I knew better than that. I wasn't an idiot either. The Hornets were still my family. How much longer, I couldn't say. I knew for a certainty that it wouldn't be a permanent relationship anymore. But just as the Hornets were still my family, temporary at most, the Hive was still my home. But not tonight. I couldn't go back there tonight. Not after the shit we had just gone through. Tonight, hell, maybe even tomorrow, I was on my own. Then, I'd come back, and they're reactions would tell me whether or not I truly was still one of them. It's only until we get inside the walls. They were my family, sure, but how much longer? Once I get inside those walls, that's all gone, for better or worse. No more Hornets anymore, just Fire Nation recruits. I don't know if I was looking forward to that or dreading it. It was hard to make up an actual decision on it. On whether I should look forward to the end of all this or not.

I left the ruin of a general store, shambling past the other slum residents who were now gathering for second picking. They would be disappointed. I didn't even know where I was walking. Whether I was looking for a midnight meal or an alley to sleep in. I didn't really let my brain bother. I just moved one foot in front of the other and leaned forward. For all I know, I could've circled the entirety of Citadel more than once. I would see a certain house or shop that would look relatively similar every now and then, or hell, who knows? I could've just as likely circled Citadel as I could have turned around and back around every 10 minutes or so.

Then, I felt my legs give up on me. I don't know if I tripped or just forgot how to walk, but I fell. I didn't bother getting up. I crawled to the wall of a nearby house and tucked myself in cozily in the alleyway between it and a separate shop. Nobody was around. Good. My legs had given up on me and I had given up on myself. Maybe I wouldn't have to worry about making it inside the walls after all. Maybe I can just fall asleep right here right now, and wake up, putting this nightmare behind me. I was thinking of what the real world must have been like, separate from the nightmare of war and conflict that I lived in when I heard a familiar voice say my name as though questioning if what was in front of him was real or not.

I didn't bother turning towards him. I knew who it was and realized that if I ended up dying like this, I might actually be at peace as I would die knowing somebody in these slums finally got what they deserved.

Except I didn't. Instead, I woke up, who knows how many hours later, in a stony damp room, solely lit by the stray candle and torch. First, I thought I could've been back in one of the stone cells of the Hive, but when I rolled over, I realized that the room went on and on in a single direction, its end blocked by fog. I then thought I may have been in a dream, but when I rolled over onto my other side, seeing a half dozen sleeping kids, Reek standing among them talking to two others, I knew I wasn't dreaming.

It was then that the blur of white noise began to differentiate among itself, creating distinct voices and sounds.

"-a fucking Hornet down in our hideout? Are you fucking nuts?" asked an older, deeper voice, obviously angry.

"This was dangerous, Reek, you know that. Why did you bring him here? I mean, why were you even up on the surface?" asked a higher voice.

"Because the Earth Kingdom hasn't come for us yet and we're running out of food and water. I had to take a look up there, see if we might be safe to grab something to eat." It was Reek that time, but the other two voices I had never heard before. The blur of my vision began to allow colors to pass through, but the voices still held no familiarity. Not even Reek's. The only thing that had him stand out from the rest was his voice and height when put next to the other two.

"But you brought a fucking Rat down hear. After all the shit they've been doing to us." Stated the deeper-voice.

"I didn't have a choice. He's my friend and he was dying, blood all over his face and shit."

"He's not even that hurt. Worst thing I can see is on him is a bruised-up face." Came the higher voice this time.

"Who do you think gave him those bruises? Us? Nobody would fuck with a Hornet aside from a Hornet. Clearly, he's not in their good graces anymore. I couldn't leave him out there to die."

"Domestics problems or no, he's still a Hornet and you brought him down here. Maybe you should have left him to die up there. It'd be what he deserved."

"Miro, come on. Please."

"I'm sorry, but he can't stay here. We can't risk it, not while he had an opportunity to kill us all in our sleep." So that was Miro. Funny voice, higher than the rest, different tone than the rest.

"I can keep watch. Just please, we can't let him leave. They'll kill him."

"Reek's right. We can't let him leave."

"Thank you, Janick." Janick. If this was Janick, then maybe I would get my wish after all, right here, right now.

"Not before I gut him like a pig for the shit he's done. I heard the sound of metal leave its scabbard and waited for the sweet embrace of death. "No. No. That's not what I meant. Miro, come on."

"Calm down, Janick. We're not killing him. Reek, why should we listen to you? Especially regarding this. I respect what you have to say, but you're walking a thin line right now, so I have to ask you if you're putting your history with Luke in front of the risk you're putting us all in."

"I'm not and he's not putting us at risk. I know Luke, and I know that he's not a killer. Just please, let's talk to him. Maybe we can convince him to join us even."

"Like hell" grunted Janick.

"Janick" started Miro. "This isn't your call. For now, we'll let him rest and we'll talk about this privately. Reek, keep an eye on your friend. We'll talk to him when he wakes up."

So maybe I wouldn't be dying tonight. Tomorrow, though, there was a good chance of that. A "talk?" What the fuck was this? A job interview? After all the shit we've put them through? Janick's right. Why the fuck should they trust me? And what would I even say? What are they expecting? Some grand secret to destroying the Hornets? Because if that was the case, they weren't getting anything out of me. Hell, I disagreed with what we were doing, but I'm not going to kill them all. They're still the same people that took me in and kept me alive over the last 7 months. They deserve my loyalty. I went back on tonight because I knew that they weren't thinking. I knew that they were letting anger get ahead of reason and I didn't want them to suffer for it.

I don't know what Reek was thinking, bringing me here. I know he found me on the streets, shambling through the slums, but I had thought his naivety had come to an end, yet he brought me here, thinking I was going to turn coat and become one of them. I thought I had made it clear that it wasn't an option anymore. And now here I was, sleeping in the hideout of the Rats before they decide whether to turn me against my family or kill me.

Frankly, I didn't know which I preferred. A punishment I deserved, or a chance to do some right. I had what was left of the night to make a decision. I would use that time.

I didn't wake on my own free will. Rather, I woke to the kick of a boot against my stomach alongside the harsh "up" spoken by Janick. I was getting up when another kick came, knocking me right back down to the ground. "I said up, dipshit."

"Leave him alone, Janick." Came that same higher voice from the night before. It took me a good minute to remember it was Miro who spoke it.

This time, I sat up, unmolested by Janick's boot and came into full view of Miro, Reek, and Janick, standing side by side while individual Rats scurried around the sewers, looking for some means to pass the time. And it was then that I understood what I was looking at. Miro. The leader of the Rats, fierce, but caring to his people. Sympathetic, kind, mature. A complete contrast to all the other shit you'd find in the slums of Citadel was. I knew what it was now. What she was. If anyone else knew, I couldn't say. The difference was unnoticeable. She didn't have the body of a woman nor carry herself as a woman might, but I noticed. Right away at that. I don't think Reek knew. I knew nobody in the Hornets knew as it was always the word "he" being thrown around in place of the female counterpart.

I rose to my feet, assured by a new confidence that I could have the upper hand in whatever conservation followed. I was expecting to be led to a room, maybe an office of sorts, but who was I kidding? They just stood there, arms crossed. "So?" Miro asked.

Don't give away that you overheard them last night. Keep your cards only to yourself. "So, what?"

"So, convince us to keep you alive instead of killing you here or throwing you back onto the streets the let the Hornets do it for us."

I scoffed. I knew they believed the Hornets would kill me, but still, this was a card I possessed that I was willing to show them. Maybe they would call me naïve, but even so, that would just be all the better for me. "They won't kill me."

"You're fucked up face would say otherwise." I liked her, I realized. Miro. Had a way of talking I found enjoyable to listen to.

"Just a scratch. Nothing we're not used to."

"Not from one of our own. Who'd you piss off? Danev? Riu? Sar'di?

"Former and latter. Let's just say we came to a disagreement."

"About what?"

"Mishi."

"Mishi?" The surprise on their faces were visible now. I wasn't going to tell him he was dead. I would tell the truth, half of it at least. The last thing we needed right now was more death to reignite the killing. "What did you do to him?" asked Janick.

"We learned he was working with you guys and we went over and took the shit he was hoarding for you."

"And that's it? You expect us to believe that?"

"Of course not. He got beat up. Tried to defend himself and got knocked on his ass for it. Send one of your guys up and see for yourselves."

They didn't call the bluff, but Janick even began to turn around to leave before Miro put a hand on his shoulder, shaking her head for him not to leave. Janick knows who she is. How far it went, I couldn't say. They're both around that age.

Miro regained control of the conversation. I noticed that Reek hadn't spoken once. Whether he would have any role in the conversation, I would have to wait to find out. "All you've told me about is why you and the Hornets are at odds with each other. You're down here, in our possession, and we need some good reasons to keep you alive."

"First off, I still am a Hornet. And second, I didn't ask to be thrown down here and interrogated to prove my worth."

"But our people did? We know you tortured them for information. How else would you know where all our stashes and safehouses were? We're not idiots."

"You know what? Fuck this. I'm sorry for all the shit that's been happening between the Hornets and you Rats. I didn't want a gang war. I didn't join the Hornets because I wanted to kill Rats or some shit. I joined because I didn't have a choice. I joined because I needed food. I needed shelter. I needed water. I needed help, okay? The Hornets got there first and so I went and joined them. But I didn't want this much blood between anyone in Citadel. I'm sorry for that too, but there's a way there can be no more bloodshed between us."

"And how's that?"

"I'm still working out the details, but I have an idea. I don't care if you kill me or not, but at least give me another hour to think this through and prove to myself that I'm not a terrible person."

I realized then that they hadn't expected the conversation to go this way, judging by Janick's hand that was constantly resting on the hilt of his blade, still sheathed and Miro's surprise displayed on her face, but I do think it worked. Miro looked to Janick. Janick looked to Miro. Miro looked to Reek, and Reek looked to Miro. "You think about what you want to say, Hornet." Stated Miro. "In an hour, you're going to have case to present."

"Fair enough." I had a plan. I had an entire night to work on one. I think I had only slept maybe twenty minutes which was still pretty good by my standards. It involved no more death and everybody getting what they wanted alive. That was the ideal goal, right? At least I hoped so. Everything I had was riding on that common knowledge. I guess I would find out.

And an hour later, I decided that my plan wasn't getting any better and that it was time to find out. I approached Miro and she agreed to a one on one meeting, much to the discontent of Janick who had a genuine concern for her. There was something there.

Miro led me to the room that I had envisioned in my mind would be the one where they all questioned me. Now, it was a room to brainstorm my plan for mutual survival. It wasn't much of a room to be honest. It was a subsection of the sewers that was blocked off on one side by cement. I remember when the Fire Nation filled them with cement. It was a sloppy job. They missed almost half the drainpipe entrances in the slums, but I heard that the entire area under the military district was completely cut off. I heard they found an underground reservoir to dump the waste into. Guess contaminating groundwater was worth the protection from us. Or was it Earthbenders they were worried about. Most likely the latter. At least, that's what I was hoping for. My entire plan was based around it.

"Go ahead then." She said. "Present to me your master plan."

"I don't want there to be anymore death. I'm done with the killing, done with the violence, done with all that shit. The Rats want to get out, the Hornets want to get further in. The military district. Both our plans rely on one of our sides getting killed.

"Maybe yours do. Us? We did our job. We're just waiting for the ride home."

"Your job isn't done. If it is, why haven't your Earth Kingdom friends come and picked you up yet. And of course, I knew it was the Earth Kingdom you were working with. So, do some of the Hornets, I think. Luckily, the Fire Nation doesn't, or they'd have burned this place to a crisp by now. They'd torch the entirety of the slums if it meant rooting out the Earth kingdom, but luckily, they need their human shield.

"If our job means we kill you all, then why shouldn't we just do that and say, 'screw it' to your plan?"

"Because I know that you don't want any more death."

"You don't know anything about me."

"I know you squat when you need to piss. I don't care about that, though. If anything, it's an assurance."

"Of what?"

"Of the fact that you care about your people, that you will protect them, and that you don't desire any more death and destruction. But as I was saying, both our employers want the other gang dead. This is just a proxy war. Neither side really cares about us, but all the same, we need them. We're just pawns, but we still want to survive. There's a way for us to both survive."

"And how's that?"

"I'm going to say some shit that sound stupid, but I ask that you save all your questions until the end. Just please listen to me. What I suggest is this: Today, I'm going to go into the military district. Turn myself in as a Rat and talk to the Captain. What I'm going to do is tell him about the sewers and where you're hiding." I could see the fear, surprise, and hate on her face, constantly interchanging. I had to make this quick before she had Janick kill me right here and now. "When he asks me why us Hornets can't deal with the Rats ourselves, I'll tell him that you have the support of the Earth Kingdom and even have Earth Benders. But before I tell him all of this, it will be on the condition that the Hornets are allowed to enter the military district."

I knew there would be an interruption and had even guessed it would be around this point. "And the Rats? What about my damn people?"

"Before I go to the commander, I should tell you that we found a way out of the city. I'll show it to you once we're done here. There's hardly any guards on the outer wall and you should be able to make it into the forest before one of the 2 outer guards even comes close to making a full circle around the wall. From there, you can go anywhere. Ba-Sing-Se if you want, but there's the siege of course, but point is, you'd be out, and we'd be in. The Hornets get inside the military district. The Fire Nation checks your sewers and sees your gone, figures you were alerted by their marching or some shit, I don't care, but please do leave behind some evidence of your existence there. I don't want us to be kicked out of the military district the second we get settled in."

"How do you expect to get the Hornets to go along with this?"

"I expect Danev to agree to this. I don't have to tell him that you don't have any Earth Benders at this very moment. I tell him that you do have Earthbenders and he'll say fuck it to the fighting, and if Riu's learned anything, he'll agree. The rest will follow them if they agree on it. SO, plan is, I show you the exit out of Citadel, leave, tell the Hornet command my plan, get them to agree then tell the Fire Nation. I'll only tell the Fire Nation you're a threat. In the morning, the Hornets and I will go for the gate and tell them the rest there. Meanwhile, you tell your people, get them packed up and ready to leave. You leave as soon as possible and leave behind any evidence of your presence. Any boxes with Earth Kingdom logos, patches, that kind of shit. By the time the Fire Nation comes to the sewers, you're in the forest, on your way to wherever the hell you want to go, and the Hornets are inside the military district. We're all happy."

"But the Earth Kingdom. They need us to get inside Citadel and take out the Fire Nation."

"Fuck the Earth Kingdom. Fuck the Fire Nation. This is about us, the little guys. Not them. You don't have to be their pawns. You can do whatever the hell you want."

Miro put her hands to her forehead, bending over, going over what could go wrong. There was a lot. The entire plan was based around ifs, but I like to think I covered them to some extent. "Fuck it. Let's do it. We save both our people and don't have to worry about no more bloodshed. That's the deal, is it not?"

"That's the deal. I know it's not the best plan, but it's the only thing I could think of that would get us all out of this alive."

"It's not a bad plan, it's just. I don't know. I guess I'm nervous."

"That's reasonable. Let's just do our parts. I'll show you the way out now if you don't mind."

"No. Not at all. Let's see this exit you're talking about."

It was right where I had met Goni that night when he came stumbling in. We found the stash of Fire Nation supplies he had hidden in the wall and we pushed that cart down to the sea, letting it sink. It didn't matter for shit in the end though. The Fire Nation still figured us out and here we were. I showed Miro how to unscrew the steel plates and get into the interior. I showed her the opening where foliage was already seeping inside the wall, roots breaking through the steel flooring. She liked it. Was out of view of the inner wall and we even counted the time between patrols on the outer wall. Just 2 men as I had told her. Took them a good 30 minutes to go full circle, even with 2 going in different directions.

I took note of where the sewer entrance was this time when we went back in. The Fire Nation would want to know how to get there. Back in the sewers, it was time for the next part. I had to tell the Hornets. Miro and I agreed that, depending on the Hornets' and Fire nation's decision, I would leave a sign of whether there was an agreement or not. Assuming it was a yes from them both, the Hornets would leave tomorrow morning. We both knew the Fire Nation would need time to take precautions before attacking. If anything, they would attack tomorrow evening. I grabbed what belongings I had brought to the sewers and was getting ready to leave for the Hive when Reek walked up to me, engaging me in one last conversation before this was all over. And probably our last conversation ever. If things went according to plan, I would never see him again.

"So. This is it, huh?" he asked.

"I guess it is."

"What made you do it? Find a way to help your people and mine?"

"I was tired of the fighting. I saw what happened in that alleyway, that slaughter. I know it was my people who did it, but it wouldn't have happened if there was no war between our guys. Now, at least, we can actually end this fighting, assuming it all works out, I mean. Then, at least, we can fight someone else's wars."

"You really think joining the Fire Nation is going to help you?"

"More than staying out here with the Hornets. That's the idea, isn't it? It's about survival in the end, but there's always that effort to make things better, little by little."

"And this is part of it? Joining an insane regime of pyrotechnic lunatics."

"Yep!" I said, with an obvious hint or sarcasm. "These seem like my kind of guys."

He chuckled, then reached forward and hugged me. I hugged him back. He was the closest friend I had ever had in Citadel. And this was where it ended. He would go on to Ba-Sing-Se most likely and join the Earth Kingdom. I would join the Fire Nation. In a sense, I was hoping this was the last time we ever met, because if we ever did meet again, it would more than likely be on separate ends of a battlefield. "Oh, and by the way" I said as I started towards the exit ladder. "Did you know Miro was a chick?"

"What? Are you kidding me?"

"Nope. Just wanted to see if you were really that oblivious. I guess you are." I laughed, my laughter echoing off the walls of the sewer. I could hear him laugh too, but it was softer and more strained, almost embarrassed, as though he were thinking over all the events of the last few years, all the signs finally making sense. I saw him one last time, laughing, before he turned around, going deeper into the sewers as I headed towards the latter that led to the surface, still chuckling. Miro was waiting for me there.

"Did you tell Janick yet?"

"I did."

"And?"

"He said that there's no way the Hornets will agree to it. That you're all bloodthirsty savages. Is he wrong?"

"Not entirely. But I like to think that their desire to survive outweighs simple bloodthirst. Remember, you have Earth benders in here. That's why we don't attack and end this right away. Make sure you sell the act however you can."

She chuckled. "I will and…Thanks. When Reek said he brought you, a Hornet down here, I was freaked out. I thought you would either kill us in our sleep or leave in the night and come back in the morning with an army."

"Well. An army will be coming. Just make sure you're out by then."

"And remember to signal whether the Hornets agreed or not. I need to know if this plan is a go or not. I will." I turned to leave, but realized I had one last thing to say. "And take care of Reek. He's a nice person. Naïve, but good hearted. Please watch out for him."

"He's the same age as you, you know. I don't think that I'll need to worry about him if you were both raised the same way."

I smiled. "I'll take that as a compliment. Well, if things go according to plan, I'll never be seeing any of you again. So, just to start things on a high note, Goodbye. And good luck."

"To you too, Luke. For the sake of us all, I hope the Hornets listen to you."

"As do I, Miro. As do I."

And with that, I left. I had some talking to do.