All Right! Fine! I Will Take You! – Chapter 26
Succubi.
Everybody knows what succubi are like in their anime incarnations, and some will even admit they know what they are like in their doujinshi versions. And what they are is an almost ideal example of how otaku culture processes Western myth.
You have a noble king that founded the most celebrated group of knights around the world? Prepare to have said king genderbent and ahegaoed. You have a fearsome dragon, the king of monsters (if we include Godzilla as a subspecies)? Well, get ready to see it either wearing a maid outfit or being trapped inside a boob-obsessed, screaming moron.
You have nightmarishly hideous demons who steal men's seed while they sleep so that Hell itself can use it to impregnate unwilling women?
We have eccentrically colored women with weird sclera, cute horns, and a penchant for getting inadvertently tamed. Bonus points if it is a mainstream manga, because then the pitiful thing will even get to be frustratedly celibate.
Admittedly, they more than make up for it in more 'cultured' works, as then they are allowed to have sex from time to time, and sometimes even be in non-monogamous relationships. Not that often, but you know how conservative sex demons can get.
Still, it is on these works that a succubus can truly show their fearsome and most potent of skills.
"Seeenpai, I'm soooore…"
Not complaining the morning after.
"I know."
"But I'm really, [really] sore."
"I know. Mostly because you already told me. A… few times."
"I'm sore because of [you."]
"Yes. You've already told me that as well. I should point out I apologized the first few times."
"Because of the way you thrust your stupidly thick cock inside me with no regard for my frail maidenhood."
"I also apologized for that. I didn't even remind you you were the one jumping up and down on top of me until the fifth time."
"And then you grabbed me from behind and rutted me like an animal…"
"[You] made me grab you from behind. There's video evidence."
"Gasp! Senpai, I wouldn't call the police on you for something like this! Who do you take me for?"
"Well, that's a—"
"I mean, I obviously would call Shizu or Haruno first."
"… Fine. What do you actually want?"
The girl who has been resting her head on my naked chest since I woke up looks at me, a radiant smile stretching from ear to ear.
"Say you love me."
"I love you."
"… You are supposed to act bashful about it and make it seem like I'm forcing you to confess."
She's pouting.
It's… doing things to me.
So I get out from underneath her and, as she yelps, I pick her up in a classic bridal carry (also known as the pre-kabedon kabedon), and she squeals half in delight and half in whatever it is that foxes try to express with their screeching.
I'm not an expert in folklore, and I'm not about to ask Zaimokuza.
"Senpai! You brute, what are you trying to do to your cute little junior?"
"I was thinking about bathing you and pampering you until you stop feeling the need to act like a spoiled little sister character."
"… I'm sure you know all about those."
"Don't be ridiculous: Komachi isn't spoiled. That would be a character flaw, and she doesn't have those. It's her only character flaw."
"… Ever heard about Russell's paradox?"
"No, but if you want to rant a Haruhi Suzumiya monologue at me, I'm going to have to ask you not to do it while naked and in my arms. My self-control only stretches so far."
"A Haru-what?"
"Never mind. You've successfully curbed my libido."
Yep. She definitely has. Now, if she could stop looking up at me with that adorable moue that makes me want to—
Right. Bath. That's a place I want to get to.
The fact it will allow me to soap up Iroha's wet skin as I—d[own].
['Yeah. I don't think that's going to work.']
Mind over matter, Brain-chan. I'm sure you can do it. Ganbare.
['I find your excess of faith disturbing.']
Do or do not; there's no try.
['That may explain how much of your homework manages to never reach a teacher's desk.']
Certainly. I did not, so there wasn't a try.
['That sentence makes me hurt.']
I know: you are in my skull. Also, about that request, you know, the one involving the verticality of a certain appendage—
['We just thought about homework and convoluted grammar. I'm afraid there's no further recourse I'm willing to sink to.']
None at all?
['Zaimo—']
Right. None at all. How unfortunate.
"Senpai? Are you really going to…"
Iroha is fidgeting.
Seeing as I'm still holding her in my arms, that's a very noticeable fact.
And, when I look down at her, there are quite a few other noticeable things.
Her cheeks are ever so pink under the muted light coming through the slit between the curtains, her hair is still in disarray, a few strands plastered to her forehead, her breasts as enticing as when she was bouncing on top of me, her thighs rubbing each other…
And her face has this shy smile, her eyes wide and bright…
I rise her body, lean down, and kiss her for the first time since I woke up to her nagging.
I almost lose my balance, and I try to keep my eye on the bathroom door as I finally start walking to our destination. Along the way, I manage to bang my shin on a chair that really shouldn't have been in the middle of the room, and I only avoid falling down by crashing my shoulder on the wall with a, mildly disturbing, wet crunch.
I lean back, and the smile has grown.
It's totally worth it.
"Open the door. My hands aren't free," I ask her.
"Oh? So you mean there's nothing you could do if I wanted to do something with [my] hands?"
"I could drop you to the floor?"
"… You really don't know how to play this game, Senpai."
"… Game?"
She stares at me, sighs, and opens the door.
Then goes back to rubbing her cheek on my chest like Kamakura when Komachi isn't available, and he needs his food bowl refilled.
… Are foxes supposed to do that? And does this mean I should have ordered breakfast before the bath?
Anyway, I step into the marble-tiled room, relieved that the lightbulbs' glare is muted through frosted glass, and, with some maneuvering and trying not to slip, I lay Iroha inside the bathtub before taking the showerhead, aiming it away from her, and waiting for the water to heat up.
"Are you really going to…?"
"What?"
"You know, I can wash myself."
"You've been all but demanding I pamper you since you woke me up, don't play coy now."
"I'm not playing coy; I'm flustered! Can't you tell the difference?!"
I aim the shower at her face, and she flails and sputters.
"Senpai!"
And now she's wet, angry, flushed, and naked.
…
Heh.
"Ah! You are smirking! How dare you try to drown me—"
This time, I do it mid-line.
"Senpai!"
Uh, she may not have been that sore, after all, going by the way she just jumped to try and steal my only weapon away from me.
Which, predictably, ends up with the whole bathroom splashed. Thankfully, it's a Japanese design with a drain in the corner, so I don't have to feel guilty about the poor staff having to take care of it. Also, this is a love hotel, so I'd better not think in too much detail about how a little bit of water is possibly the most delightful surprise the cleaning staff may have to deal with throughout the day.
And, well, maybe I shouldn't focus too much on the water, seeing as Iroha's and my wrestling has, somehow, ended up with me straddling her naked body and she looking at the obvious reaction she naturally causes in me as the abandoned showerhead keeps letting out warm water that makes her breasts sparkle in very eye-catching ways.
"… I'm not that sore," she mutters.
"I know," I rasp out.
"So you really were playing along?"
"After I got over my initial panic."
She chuckles, either at the words, the deadpan I use to convey them, or at my penis waving hello at her. One of those three.
"That's a relief. I didn't know how to make it more obvious."
"Maybe by not telling me how sore you were in the first place?"
"… We really need to teach you how to talk to women."
"I know perfectly well how to talk to women. It's speaking [with] women that gets me in trouble."
She sighs.
"Not being a nitpicky pedant may be a good starting point."
"The first hurdle is too high. This game is rigged. I refuse to play."
She smirks beneath me, circles my neck with her arms, and pulls herself up until her wet breasts are pushing against me and her mouth is beside my ear.
"I'm really glad you aren't a player, Senpai."
… You know, there comes a time when one wonders whether there's an end to the number of things that can snap inside one's head. The answer, apparently, is 'not as long as the foxy junior keeps looking for them.'
"And… I'm not that sore," she adds with a purring voice that makes every non-wet hair in my back stand up. Then lowers herself and winks.
…
['No.']
But—but—
['Don't make me repeat myself, young man.']
She's right [here!] And asking for it! Like, actually asking for it, not creepy 'asking for it.'
['Right. And you know perfectly well what you have to do for her own good.']
… Killjoy.
['Praise me more.']
"Iroha, you don't know how much I want to bend you over the edge of the tub, grab your hips, and—wait, no, let me start again: Iroha, if you keep looking at me like that, you'll definitely be sore by the time I'm done with you—I mean—"
"Senpai…" She keeps looking at me, her cheeks redder than pink. "I'm ready for—"
"Agh! No! School! Class! On time!"
"… What? Do you… want to do it at school? I mean, I guess we could, but I would rather not do it at the top of the stairs; that's too exposed—"
"No! Yes! I mean—damn it, I really, really don't want to say this, but… we can't be late today."
"… Senpai, are you saying you value more your attendance record than doing it with me one last time this morning?" Uh… I'm pretty sure that's the kind of tone that implies the wrong answer will not only end the relationship, but quite likely void any life insurance the victim had due to reckless endangerment.
"I… You know I don't, don't you?" Reluctantly, she nods. All right, I passed the first stage of the boss battle, now let's hope she doesn't pull a Sephiroth for the second stage. "It's just… we are involved with Shizu, and if we both start acting suspiciously, it may draw unwanted attention."
"You mean like somebody recording you getting a blowjob in public?"
… I don't know how she can look this innocent while naked, wet, and saying what she just did. I really don't.
"Yeah… Like that."
"Ah. Yeah, that may be bad."
"Really bad."
"It may add another member to the harem, and we don't have many open slots."
"… Are you really trying to give me a stroke?"
"Well, I was offering to stroke you, but if that isn't in the cards…"
I sigh, drop my shoulders, and take a deep breath.
Then I drench her face with the shower once more.
Her spluttered rage is kind of therapeutic, actually.
***
"You are the worst," Iroha says for the umpteenth time as she rests her back on my chest and keeps making very distracting noises while I shampoo her hair.
"I know. Mostly due to your very thorough instruction on the subject," I reply, making sure to get her behind the ears—the extra moaning that elicits not being a factor, at all, in my conscientious job.
"Do you have any idea how it makes me feel to have you reject my advances like this?" she grumbles as her derriere (that's, currently, the best word for the soft, petite thing) settles once more in my lap.
My already pretty crowded lap.
"Not at all, but I'm pretty sure you are about to correct such an oversight."
"Of course! It is my duty as your girlfriend to mercilessly point out your many inadequacies so that your self-esteem is too low to ever think about leaving me."
"That sounded too realistic to be a joke."
"Ah, you are learning."
"Reluctantly."
"Very well. Since you seem to be receptive to my lessons at the moment, Senpai, I will explain to you exactly how it makes me feel that you would tell me it's more important that we get in time to school than you getting to shoot me full of your sperm once more." The mini-speech is punctuated with an extra wiggle that almost manages to make it so the last part comes dangerously close to passing.
"Please, impart your instruction upon this unworthy vessel, Isshiki-sama."
"I like your spirit—broken just the way I like it."
"If you expect me to be surprised or shocked, you underestimate how much we know each other."
"Flattery will get you everywhere. Or it would have if you didn't have morals and self-restraint."
"One of my many failings."
"Certainly. Now, as to how it makes me feel that when I'm wet and naked beneath you and asking you to make love to me, you have the presence of mind to tell me it's a bad idea… It makes me fall for you all over again." She looks up, a blob of foam sticking to my chest as she turns, and flashes me a smile that makes my heart clench.
And then I hug her, clutching her to me from behind.
"Drop it," I all but plead.
"Senpai?" Her tone seems… a bit bewildered.
"Don't… Don't be like this, not right now. I love you, I adore you, I can't even begin to think of how it would be to not have last night have happened, so… I love your sense of humor, and I love our verbal sparring, and I always look forward to those little speeches that never fail to leave me at the brink of a heart attack, but… But this morning, after last night… Can the jokes wait? Just for a few hours?"
She tries to turn around and look at me, but I'm holding her too tight, and she finally slumps against me.
"Senpai, are you asking me to be completely open and not use humor as a familiar routine to frame our conversation? Are you asking me to be… To be as direct and straightforward as you are? To be completely defenseless while I process losing my virginity to the man I love? I'm sorry, Senpai, but that's impossible. Because if I stop joking and bantering for even a second, I feel like there's this damn inside of me that will burst, and I don't know what it's filled with, but I will start crying, and I don't want you to see my ugly, weeping face, and… And look what you made do, Senpai…"
I open my arms just enough for her to turn around and cling to my chest, her eyes filling with tears right as she starts sniffling, and then I hug her as tightly as I can once again, my own tears coming right behind hers.
"I'm sorry," I say through an awful blubbering.
"You aren't… You love these mushy scenes," she accuses.
"I do. I… I'm… I feel so close to you that any distance hurts, and I just…"
"I asked you to have se—to make love to me again. How did you think I felt?"
I kiss her head and end up spitting a blob of awful-tasting foam.
She laughs while crying, which is a sound I never knew I would enjoy.
Then she settles back, and my arms relax around her as we slide down the tub until she's lying on top of me.
"Can we… stay like this? Just for a while, not doing anything?"
I plug the tub and open the faucet.
"Why do you think I brought you to the bath?"
"Because you wanted me to shut up about being sore."
"… That was a bonus."
She turns around until her body is completely stretched over mine, her chin on my chest.
"I… I'm sorry. I didn't want to cross a line with that," she says.
"I know."
"And I'm really used to joking with you."
"Don't apologize for that, Iroha. I understand. I was just… extra touchy."
She wiggles on top of me, and a certain part of me complains.
"I know," she says with her foxy grin shining through slight tear tracts and suds.
… I never thought of myself as a superficial man. I always felt at least a bit of pride at seeing through appearances, valuing the heart of the matter, the essence of character.
But I can't help but notice my girlfriend is beautiful enough she can make my heart race with the slightest turn of her lips.
***
Leaving the hotel and taking the train home is a bit of a jarring experience. None of us thought about taking our uniforms and schoolbags on a date, so we can't go directly to school, which means…
That we are saying goodbye.
"It's only for a little while," I say.
"School starts in about an hour," she answers.
"Right."
"Right."
…
We are still holding hands.
"So, I kinda left my bike parked here last night," I comment.
"Thoughtful of you."
"Thanks."
"Except for the part where you biked to our meeting spot, and so you would have sweated along the way."
"… I thought you liked my smell."
"I'm not giving back that shirt, Senpai. You may as well give up on it."
"Shizu gave me her panties, and you steal my shirt. I feel there's an imbalance in the relationship."
"I'm sure she'll also be stealing a shirt or two once she gets the chance."
"I mean, it's kinda cold today…"
"You are about to go home and change your clothes."
"Right."
"Right."
…
Our fingers interlace.
"This is ridiculous," I point out.
"It is," she agrees.
She squeezes my hand.
"It's as sappy as those couples who go 'hang up first,'" I comment.
"I bet you would hang after the first request." She rolls her eyes.
I squeeze back.
"You know me so well…"
She looks up at me.
"Not half as well as I want to…"
I lean down.
"We have a lifetime to learn."
She kisses me.
"It won't be enough."
I smile my sappy smile, and Iroha's foxy grin turns into this dopey, adorable thing with the corners of her lips quivering.
"I really should get going," I say, my words brushing past those very lips.
"You should."
I don't.
***
"Do I want to know?" Komachi greets me as I barrel through the door, sweating like I rode my bicycle so fast a policewoman eyed me suspiciously.
Which I did. Hence the sweating.
I start taking off my drenched clothes as I run to my room, then at the last minute decide I really need to go through the bathroom at least long enough to wash my armpits. It turns out Iroha stealing my undershirt may have been a blessing in disguise.
"No, I don't think I do," Komachi mutters.
I would answer, but it seems she's finally developing a properly working sense of self-preservation, and I'm overcome with envy.
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This work is a repost of my second oldest fic on QQ (https://forum.questionablequesting.com/threads/all-right-fine-ill-take-you-oregairu.15676/), where it can be found up to date except for the latest two chapters that are currently only available on on Patreon (https://www.patreon.com/Agrippa?fan_landing=true)—as an added perk, both those sites have italicized and bolded text. I'll be posting the chapters here twice weekly, on Wednesday and Friday, until we're caught up. Unless something drastic happens, it will be updated at a daily rate until it catches up to the currently written 84 chapters (or my brain is consumed by the overwhelming amounts of snark, whichever happens first).
Speaking of Italics, this story's original format relied on conveying Brain-chan's intrusions into Hachiman's inner monologue through the use of italics. I'm using square brackets ([]) to portray that same effect, but the work is more than 300k words at the moment, so I have to resort to the use of macros to make that light edit and the process may not be perfect. My apologies in advance
Also, I'd like to thank my credited supporters on Patreon: aj0413, Niklarus, Tinkerware, Varosch, and Xalgeon. If you feel like maybe giving me a hand and help me keep writing snarky, maladjusted teenagers and their cake buffets, consider joining them or buying one of my books on https://www.amazon.com/stores/Terry-Lavere/author/B0BL7LSX2S. Thank you for reading!