CHAPTER 1: The hero of my own story

Friday morning, another sunny day begins in the city. Billboards everywhere and magazines with celebrities printed on them in every store, every commercial on tv is another face flaunting its beauty and alienating all generations to imagine that one day they could be someone as beautiful and with a life as perfect as theirs... well, that's not important to me, after all, I don't have a television... besides, hearing the birds singing in the morning and the dogs barking when I pass by the neighborhood doesn't make my day brighter and happier. Who cares about that in the end? I'll soon be 16, and in 1 more year I won't have to go back there every week anymore, but even if I finish school, who's to say that society won't treat me as badly as all the students already do every day?

- How can you be so ugly every day, Charlie?

- Can you really still eat here in the cafeteria? Just look at the mirrored walls, aren't you disgusted by your own reflection?

- I'm amazed at how your parents decided to raise you even though they look at you every day, gee, if you were my son, I would have run away!".

- Charlie, the student chart says you are 156 centimeters tall and weigh 72 kilograms. You are so small and fat that I am afraid to stand next to you, it seems that the floor will sink at any moment!

- I still don't know why he's still alive, if I were him, I wouldn't even exist anymore, no one would miss him anyway.

every day it's always the same, comments and more comments... no matter what, no matter where, in the cafeteria, in the classroom, on the sports court and even when they hurt me, in the infirmary they treat me badly. I am really tired of it!

I can hear horns honking in traffic as I walk through the city back to my home. People become chaotic when they are in their vehicles in the middle of the road, but in the end everyone is the same, just see the driver and think about who is prettier so they have the right to do whatever they want... everyone is the same, always beauty wins. Even at school there is no difference. The teaching method is always crap, I study every day, I want to be a doctor, but even with the best grades, I will probably have the worst opportunity for professional growth among all students.

I really don't understand this world... I have the highest marks in national exams, I have the highest rating in mental skills tests and yet that's worth nothing?

- What did I do wrong? - I said walking to my house while staring at the ground as if I was going to find something on the way, then I continued talking to myself as usual - I didn't ask to be born like this, I really do everything in my power.... - I turned to the right and looked at the end of the corridor of houses that ended at the foot of one of the mountains that surrounded the city I was born in - I train for an hour every day and eat only once every 12 hours, but I never managed to lose a single kilo, every year it seems that my bone gets denser and my muscles create fat even when I don't eat, am I cursed? - I walked to the end of that same street. Looking to the left, the last house that existed was a standard two-story house that had all over that long block. The house had a yellowish-white color and its doors and windows were made of dark brown wood. The garden right in front of the house was surrounded by a low wall made with pastel yellow bars and countless flowers grew gently on the grass and small trees that were along the length of that same garden. I stopped in front of the entrance and looked at the door of the house, of my own house - every day I run around here and I always end up vomiting, a doctor said that my body was not made for exercise and that I am doomed to die that way ... - I walked and opened the door slowly, walking down the hallway of the house I heard a soft noise that echoed from the kitchen, then my cat appeared, an orange and gold striped male maine coon approached and walked past my leg while meowing, I stared at him for a second and bent down to carry his furry body - in the end, all those students are right, Kise... even my parents abandoned me after they realized that I would be ugly, they left me this house and disappeared without even saying a single word, I have no one... I'm doomed to die alone and everything I do has no purpose!

I walked to my room, took a shower and changed clothes, went to the living room couch and sat with my kitten. - I never exercised for the purpose of becoming someone prettier or the most popular and I didn't even want that, Kise, I don't want to get attention from anyone, you know, I always wanted to know what it's like to have friends, or how I would feel if I was accepted, even the way I am

- Meow - Kise meowed at me looking at my swollen face. My light brown hair was wet and my eyes were red, maybe it was because thinking about my daily life always made me want to cry. Honestly, I don't know why I haven't gotten used to it yet, so I continued:

- Hey, Kise, I recently found out that my parents are advertising models and they don't live in this country anymore... that explains the fortune they left me when they gave me this house and they're gone - my smile appeared as a tear ran down my cheek to my round chin - if only one person, only one.... if I was accepted by just one....

- Meow!

The light was off and I didn't bother to turn it on. There was no noise around since all the houses in the neighborhood were unoccupied for the most idiotic reason possible: all the people who think about living here give up when they find out they will have a cursed neighbor like me. I stopped petting my kitten and wiped my face.

Kise was a cat I found in the garden of my house. I was only 12 years old at the time. I was walking home when I found him injured in the middle of the street. He was only a kitten, but his paw was broken and part of his fur had been burned off. I picked him up and he scratched me, but I didn't give up caring for him. After taking care of him until his paw got better and his health returned to normal, I let him out of the house, but since then he never left me.... I registered him and we are together until today.

I got up and went to the pantry. My kitten came along because I knew it would be fed. After all, it wasn't as if he really depended on me for that. So I said:

- Hey, Kise you've always been independent even without me, if I disappear... will you feel anything?. - I picked up his box of kibble and poured it all into his bowl, then put a separate liter of water in his water bowl before walking away as I watched him eat.

- You have always been able to rationalize your food, so I believe this will last for the next few weeks... I wish you well, Kise. If you want to go out, I'll leave the window open, I hope you don't miss me... I... need to go now - Kise stopped eating as if he understood my goodbye, then walked to my legs and meowed while staring at me continuously. My tears fell towards him before he finally said - I... I can't take it anymore!

I left the house fully determined and started my journey in the evening towards the mountain for which I had given all my attention. No one was in that street and so nothing could stop me now. I started to cross the pine trees that existed at the beginning of the route and soon I climbed little by little some rocks. My body was getting tired and from time to time I stopped to breathe. I looked down at the beautiful view of the city that has been suffocating me for so long and continued the climb.

Some owls stared at my body with their bright eyes and fear surrounded my heart, but my mind was already too destroyed to simply stop because of the fear of the dark. I have always been alone and this is how I will finish what my parents failed to do when they no longer wanted me. I looked at the tip of the cliff a few meters up and realized how far I had climbed, right now my house, the last one in that corridor was so small that I couldn't even see the details from the door to the window, just a pastel yellow blur appeared in my vision.

On the steepest part of the cliff, I ended up cutting my hand and scraping my knee, but at that point, it didn't matter anymore. I realized that if I kept going up I would reach the snowy part of the mountain. Surely the view there was so beautiful that I couldn't imagine it alone. But that was not the reason for my coming. I stopped at the tip of that cliff realizing that my journey had been successful. I had never noticed before how beautiful that town was.

The range of mountains that surrounded the sides of the city was magnificent. The light that covered everything, especially the golden hue that bathed the billboards that I never cared to look at, only perceived by their reflection, even so, at the end of it all, I did not feel sorry for never paying attention to it, I do not regret taking myself to live a dream that was never mine, nor to idealize a reality that was not realistic at all. But under the light of that immense full moon that shone in the dark sky with points of starry brilliance, I still didn't feel right.

- At the end of it all... at the end... why? - I fell to my knees in tears in the middle of the grass that grew naturally in that place. - WHY? - I closed my eyes as my tears fell uninterruptedly and the white light of the moon filled my body. - Why am I like this?... why do I get so much hate?... I... I just wanted to be loved... I just wanted... I just wanted to be normal!

I opened my eyes and stood up fully resolved. My knee and hand kept bleeding as my tears came down. I looked at the light that filled me that night and continued speaking in a harsh, loud tone:

- I don't care about being handsome, about being famous or popular... I just wanted to have my parents with me, I wanted to have friends, or someone who would at least remember me with a little love... should I really just die?...

I stopped with the cold air going down my throat. I looked at the city again after realizing I was shouting at the moon for no apparent reason. Soon my skin flushed and I felt ashamed. What was I waiting for, an answer? as if that was possible.

I stared at my injured hand and knee. The dirt had mixed with the blood and I didn't feel comfortable to keep looking at myself. Finally, I closed my eyes once more taking a deep breath before I finished saying everything that was going on in my thoughts.

- I think... I just wish I could be.... the hero of my own story!

I believe that was my personal goodbye. Goodbye for this mediocre life, goodbye for each of the insults, goodbye for all the moments of suffering and loneliness.

I didn't really think about what this could lead to, but it was too late, my feet were on the edge of the cliff and my own weight prevented me from turning back. I extended my arms at the time of the fall, I felt the wind taking me gently as my body leaned and, when I slipped, feeling the cold death cover my being, an extremely strong and icy breath took me back up like a tornado guiding me to that same starting point I had launched myself from a few moments ago. I fell sitting on the same grass that was dirty with my blood that I spilled earlier and, surprised, I looked at everything around to see if I was not imagining it

- How is that possible? - I looked up at the sky in complete amazement. All that graced me in that darkness was the glow of a full moon much larger than I usually saw naturally. There was no noise around other than the howling of the wind, the same wind that had somehow managed to carry me back to the starting place.

My tears were dry at that moment and as I tried to get up, I heard a gentle, soft female voice come to life in the air:

- If you could make any kind of wish come true... what would you wish for?