1 Prologue:Distance

Lu jing an... I kept fantasizing the day that i would confess to you under the cherry tree at the back of our school.

" jing an...i...i like you for a long time..."

"I like you too bro!"

You would say confidently with a smile as if it was only natural to like me but....

"Jing an...i don't like you as a brother..."

I then would expect that you would be so shocked that your usual smile would vanish on your face and was replaced by confusion.

"...but you said.."

"Mm...i like you...but not as a brother or a friend would i like you because your you and my type of like is the type of like that i want to be in a relationship with you"

You would get startled with the words i said becoming happy yet confuse as if your emotion all had mixed up and was shown on your face.

"Jing an..."

"Sorry I... Ru yan I...I..."

You bowed down your head feeling flustered and all fidgeting with your fingers then you would rub your nape just as always whenever your feeling guilty about something. Then and there i already knew what was coming out of this...

Ahh....i guess...he weren't able to accept my feeling and feel so complicated right...

I knew how you think as if i could read your mind. I know your every move as if we were one but what i just couldn't get to know about you was your feelings...i knew you like senior Su rin and always watched her i could feel that something in your gaze was different when you look at me and her.

"Jing an...this is the last thing i will do for you and for me..."

"..."

"Im tired of making excuses for you already

Im tired of masking my feeling for you already

Im tired of acting cupid for you and senior Su rin already..."

"Ru yan...I..."

"Jing an..."

I would cut you before you could say anything and after a few seconds of steeling my resolve i continued what i really wanted to say.

"...let's part and never see each other again in this life..."

I declared. Retreating for my love already experiencing all the hardships that i shouldn't but did for you. My face was all scrunch up with missery written so clearly on it. Jing an...i can't handle it anymore...i can't handle my overflowing love for you anymore... i feel like i would break already...

We have to distance from each other already...

Goodbye...